Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

I picture myself having sex with loads of different men, most days. DH is an amazing shag and I don't want to cheat etc but I really love sex and like thinking about other men (occasionally women) and how they'd be in bed

Look up what you would like him to buy on his phone. Or even talking about it in the same room. He will get bombarded with ads for said item and might take the hint.

Oh. Another one.

At one of my jobs I used to go home (literally next door) and watch Netflix and put meetings in. So I'd show up for 15 mins go home for a few hours, pop back in at lunchtime and eat at my desk- because of course I was far too busy to take a break and then fuck off again until about four. Back again to finish with everyone else.

I was a manager.

I genuinely love my husband, but I'm sad at the thought of having the same penis for the rest of my life.

If I could shag other men, being carefree without causing hurt (and staying with DH) I'd do it.

My brother has no qualifications as a parent he hasn't lived with either of his children past them being 4 years old. I smile and nod as he tells me his opinion quietly thinking you tosser. My DC are 12 and 15 I think I might have a bit more expertise these days

Ha ha at this thread, especially the arse hanging out 😂

I have a crush on my neighbour and her boyfriend, my imagination runs unchecked.

A lot of the ways I’ve improved my life has been to spite my ex-mil and bils gf. They were vile to me and really beat me down til I had no confidence left, ex-mil is still friends with my mum on fb for whatever reason and my mum likes to boast about me and my siblings and I get a little bit of joy every time she posts something nice about me as I know exmil will see it and be seething that I’m thriving in life now they’re gone.

LOL. Love that the dog joins

Quotes like this are why we badly NEED a like button

I'm 45 yo and been a sex worker for 20 years because I love my job.

My df died before Christmas and I wish my dh had died instead. DF was a cheerful, glass half-full man. DH is a glass is fucking empty and I'll probably smash it now knowing my luck man. He moans incessantly. It's an awful thing to think but I would have been less heartbroken if it had been dh 😥

Do it do it!!! Just have a go! :) Youvr got nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Another annoying niece who is the only granddaughter, so the sun shines out of her arse! She’s a horrid little troll, who constantly puts her scrawny little arms on her hips while rolling her eyes at everyone. The last time ai saw her she was banging on about going to see Billie Eilish, looked straight at me and asked if I knew who that was, like I was Amish and wasn’t allowed to listen to music.

She also cheats at games, GP keep telling us how brilliant she is and how she always wins. Being a petty and Amish, I called her out every single time, strangely enough she didn’t want to play any more 😁

(I'm still a sex worker)

We have 4 kids who have disabilities in my family, evil ex sil was vile, judgemental and snobby about this. To the point on the rare occasions we went out together she refused to walk with us. Horrible woman.

I tweaked every cup.of tea I made the nasty cow. And when she left my brother because she wanted a second kid but didn't want to risk having a wonky one like ours......when she had her second child my some fluke of God knows what he turned out to have the same disability. And I pissed myself laughing when I found out.

Sad for the kid having a.mother like that. Hopefully she managed to walk alongside her own child.

I make tea with the milk and sugar and teabag in the cup and just port the hot water over the whole lot. It makes absolutely no difference. I drink loads of tea and I don't believe anyone can really tell if it has been made ‘properly’.

I am not even a tiny bit interested in any of my colleagues children or grandchildren, the endless boring conversations and pictures are driving me crazy. Strange thing is they don’t seem to discuss their families with the others that do have kids. I never ask for this information….. why do they think I give a shit

I really want to write a book - I keep on thinking about it and an idea for a story has been pootling around in my head for a couple of years now, but can’t seem to build up the courage/motivation to actually write it. Would love to do it though.

I stole something from a convent. (Of no monetary or religious value, more a sentimental thing keepsake from a nun unrelated to any living persons, I should add). Yeah, I'm going to hell.

My nephew was a little shit but everyone thought he was adorable. He has grown up into a lovely young man so fingers crossed for your niece.

Anyone else have a little wee wee in the bath??

I'm so sorry for you loss! Xxx

Never in the bath but partial to a wee wee in the shower

Ooooh! You should do an AMA thread! Love to hear stories! X