Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

I really miss that feeling of someone (a boy / man) telling me they like me. I miss being 14 - 22 years old and that feeling of being desired.

I sometimes find myself wishing that my lovely dad would die from a quick, painless heart attack or something rather than live for years being slowly and painfully claimed by the dementia that he's been diagnosed with.

Haha love it!

I have sexual anhedonia. Love sex, can orgasm but feel nothing but a mild sense of relief.

I pick my nose and eat it, my favourite are crusty ones…..

Not on purpose 😉

I went to a wedding and didn't take a present.

I sometimes wish that I wasn't infertile and my boyfriend hadn't had a vasectomy, because we would make pretty babies.

I'm part of a small harem (my description) of women who answered a load of personal questions on Reddit and became friendly with the writer of the questions. He's in the US and we correspond regularly about all sorts of things like his kittens, holiday plans etc. It's truly platonic and he's a genuinely nice guy. It's an odd way to find a penpal though.

Whenever I make chilli/Ragu/mince beef I use quorn ‘mince’ because a “that stuff tastes life shit and I’ll never eat it”.

And feed all those daily mail journos lurking MN on here? No way.

I was thinking of this today - as a teen I did a sponsored walk for cancer research UK and never donated the money (real money you had to collect from people in those days - I dipped into it once before sending off as I needed money for something for school and then never got round to it and the money ended up being used up). Years later I did donate an equal lump sum to CRUK to make up for it.

I’m not really ashamed about this more shocked by my stupidity - slept with a colleague who looking back clearly just wanted to tick my sort off a list. Had already handed in my notice so didn’t really matter. But very demeaning looking back! I was only 19 so I forgive myself.

As a child (maybe age 10?) my friend and I called a random phone number from a phone box and said in a nasty voice ‘I’m gonna kill you!’ and it was an older sounding man. The instant horrendous shame and regret was punishment enough and I felt horrific for years but now I realise he hopefully had enough life experience to realise it was kids being idiots.

Cathartic thread.

My SIL was obsessed with having a girl. Her and MiL are two horrible people but are stuck to each others hips. They both hoped SIL would have a girl. She instead had 3 boys with the newest arrival only a few months old, she's too old now with her health to try for anymore. I myself had a girl and also have another on the way and due to their poor behaviour towards me and DH we don't have a relationship so they will be seething when they see the new girl arrival whom they won't ever get to know. I know that sounds bad but they have put me through hell and this is like a silent punishment for them that I will enjoy.

This has Daily Mail ’journalist’ written all over it. Someone with a deadline tomorrow.

@YellowBusPlaymobile brilliant 😁

i hate my sd

as in if she dropped down dead tomorrow,I’d celebrate

she’s a spiteful,nasty,bitchy parasite who really thinks the world owes her
shes only gone to uni so she can meet a rich man/not work for 3 years

i had the torture of her company at Christmas and it gave me real pleasure to see how badly she is struggling with life-serves the workshy little brat right

i can’t wait to see what happens when she leaves uni-she’s the pfb and first grandchild-they think the world shines out of her arse

it really doesn’t-and the real world will knock so many lumps from her,I’d be amazed there’s anything left

Me too. But I have also had it.

I still use “I’m not feeling right - long covid” though

Also I made my mum cry when I was about 6 by saying I didn’t like her because she was spotty (she wasn’t), but really it was because my best friend had said she didn’t like my mum. I screamed as I didn’t know mums could cry!

I have a job making close to a three figure income and rising each year. I've just been offered a job helping disabled kids like my dc for less than 20k per annum. I really, really want to take it. I have imposter syndrome when it comes to this role because it's so important to me to get right and I'm scared of any decision I make. I just don't know what to do.

When my mil dies I’m planning on throwing a party. Awful woman, a disgusting manipulative drunk and a rotten human being.

This is hilarious. Please give a ball park as to what it is.

I am a self confessed Dolly Doormat and do way too much for everyone in my family. I often feel that they take me for granted.
For years I have had this secret fantasy of simply disappearing (only for a couple of days) just to put the shits up everyone and make them realise how much I actually do for them.
I would book into a seaside hotel with a sea view, order in shit food for the few days and lay in bed watching old movies, eating and drinking and watching the world go by then casually come back home as though I’ve just been to the shops for an hour or two.
Oh and I’d take the dog too (and the Wi-Fi box!)

I totally get this (different relative). To the point I want to leave too many pills in the house for them to fulfil their own wish of ending it

Acquaintance “borrowed” my items without my consent returning them manky. Think she went into my wardrobe when round on a play date etc and took items
One time she was over I worked fast and l got tiny bits of fish skin and put them concealed into the lining of her bag, I dabbed her leather jacket with sour milk . Making it damp allowing smelly milk to sink in
in the heat she’s had some funny odours but can’t place how,why,what
I smile as she wafts by.

I have an outlying family member who's grieving very deeply for her mother, who died nearly two years ago, and I listen and nod while thinking to myself what an absolute monster the mother was, how narcissistic and destructive, how she blighted her daughter's life... I wait for the day it all starts to dawn on the daughter.

As a teen, my dad used to drop me off in a lay-by on a main road near my high school. One morning, the lay-by was full of water after heavy rainfall. My dad pulled into the lay-by a little too fast in a rush to get to work and absolutely SOAKED a postman from head to toe in muddy water.

That postie was my friend's dad (not that he knew who I was since we were only really friends in school) and he died from unrelated causes not long later. Always felt bad about that one!