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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help scared. TMI. Sex related.

59 replies

Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 13:37

Hi,
please help.

so I had a new sexual partner two days ago and we also had sex last night. I was daft and we didn’t use a condom but he assured me he was all clean and checked. Today I’ve found a sore lump basically on the lips TMI sorry. It’s not painful but is quite sore. I’m pretty sure I’ve had one of those before when I wasn’t with anybody and It went away. I did shave. Could it be from shaving or something else. I’m so worried !

OP posts:
Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 13:39

It’s worth adding this is the first time I’ve had sex in two years. I feel so stupid

OP posts:
Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 13:39

Also it’s only small

OP posts:
SherlockTomes · 12/05/2022 13:40

well you need to get booked in to your local Sexual health clinic.

caz198917 · 12/05/2022 13:41

To be honest if it was an STI it would be too soon. It's prob from shaving or a pimple maybe, xx

Greensleeves · 12/05/2022 13:41

I'd go and get it checked out OP. Whatever it is, it's probably very treatable and the earlier the better. And if it is an STD, you and he both need to know.

Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 13:41

Thanks I will but I’ve had one the exact same before so I don’t know if I’m worrying unnecessary but I will get checked

OP posts:
Noname1999 · 12/05/2022 13:42

It could be a zit, but if you're not sure what it is have it looked at. They've seen worse.

Plutoisaplanet · 12/05/2022 13:42

Off course he’s going to tell you he is clean op, he wanted sex. Get yourself down to your local sexual health centre. You will likely need follow up testing in 3 months time too as not everything will shop up straight away. The sore may be from shaving but even so you still need to check your sexual health

Antarcticant · 12/05/2022 13:42

Yes, you need a medical professional to diagnose this. Sooner rather than later so you can either get it treated or stop worrying.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 12/05/2022 13:42

It could be a cold sore (herpes simplex)
you need to get to an STI clinic urgently. Never trust anyone who says they are 'clean'.

GregBrawlsInDogJail · 12/05/2022 13:48

You need to get it looked at, although my guess given the timelines is that it will turn out to be an ingrown hair.

That said: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING having unprotected sex? He's a stranger. You need to protect yourself. Don't do that again.

SleeplessInEngland · 12/05/2022 13:49

No point in asking strangers on a forum - go to a clinic.

Pixiedust1234 · 12/05/2022 13:49

Cant add to other pps posts but when you say he said he's clean and checked...did he provide proof or just say "trust me babe"? I mean health proof such as insurance companies require rather than a photo (from the Internet of somebody else's letter).

Never ever believe a man who says trust me, esp if sex is involved.

10HailMarys · 12/05/2022 14:26

If it's like a little sore bump kind of thing (rather than a blister) and you've had one before, it's almost certainly just a blocked hair follicle or something and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you had sex with someone. I get these a lot. But obviously if you're worried you should get it checked out.

Hamster1111 · 12/05/2022 14:31

You're panicking because of the timing. If it had cropped up last week, you'd likely think nothing of it. Timing-wise it's very unlikely to be an STI as it's so quick. You need an STI test regardless though.

LadyLothbrook · 12/05/2022 14:33

It'll be the recent shaving and then rubbing and moisture from the sex will have aggrevated it and produced a spot.

Squillerman · 12/05/2022 14:34

Herpes would take more than 24 hours to develop… It’s probably from shaving. Have a check up anyway mostly to check for chlamydia and gonorrhoea.

Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 14:39

Thank you. It wasn’t a one night stand, I have been seeing him for a while and this is the first time we have had sex. Yes, I’m definitely worried because of the timing. I will still go and get checked regardless. It’s a small lump, not blister. Exact same as one I’ve had before but still worried! I have an appointment Tuesday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 14:40

In my OP I said ‘new sexual partner two days ago’ but I meant that this is the first time we have had sex! We did it yesterday and the day before. I shaved yesterday morning.

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 12/05/2022 14:43

It’s most likely due to shaving but go get yourself checked just to be safe! Make sure you have contraception as you cannot fully rely on the guy!

catscatscatseverywhere · 12/05/2022 14:43

Could be a pimple.

Mugcake · 12/05/2022 14:45

Such a tough situation, but dont beat yourself up about it any more than you have. Get tested, but if you've had the same thing before then it's unlikely to be from him. Sexual health clinics never test for herpes unless you have symptoms so people who are asymptomatic or only have mild symptoms now and again (without realising what it is) can pass it on. It can lie dormant for years without a flare up. I'm not saying this is what you have but if you've had this before it may be that you've risked passing it to him.
Either way you'll worry until you know for sure! They can usually fit you in pretty quickly!

Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 14:49

@Mugcake thank you for the information. Looking on google photos it doesn’t look typical of herpes. It looks more like photos of pimples or an ingrowing hair which can cause a sore bump but I’m still scared. The last time I got one was after shaving too and that was around 6 months ago and it went away shortly after

OP posts:
SlickShady · 12/05/2022 14:51

There is more chance you've given him something. Symptoms wouldn't have come out from any STIs he might have had, but if you've got herpes, he might have caught it from you.

Original poster
Dolly198 · 12/05/2022 14:56

@SlickShady thanks I’ve looked online and it says it can show up in 2-20 days so there could be a chance. However, looking at google images it definitely does not look typical of herpes. I googled ingrowing hair down below and it looks exactly like one of those bumps but I will be making sure. Thank you

OP posts: