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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel last minute

69 replies

Fallingtopieces34 · 05/12/2021 08:32

AIBU to cancel xmas plans out with friends later today? Had an extremely busy day yesterday and I've woken up with a bit of a cold and slight sore throat (lateral flow negative) and I've got a really busy week at work ahead. All I want to do is sit on the sofa in my pyjamas.

OP posts:
Doidontimmm · 05/12/2021 08:39

My friend has just cancelled in me & to be honest it’s the second time in a row and I’m feeling pretty pissed off even though I will say it’s fine. Making me reassess this friendship! Up to you & the dynamic

stripetop · 05/12/2021 08:40

If you have woken up with a cold you need a Pcr not a lateral flow and then cancel to await results.

Roominmyhouse · 05/12/2021 08:42

I’d definitely cancel. People don’t want to get ill so would probably be pissed off if you turned up with a cold.

I’m on day 5 of a horrible cold/virus, I hope you don’t have this! Todays the first day my throat hasn’t felt like I’m swallowing razor blades.

Stay in the warm and rest up!

Original poster
Fallingtopieces34 · 05/12/2021 08:43

But I don't actually have any covid symptoms no cough, difficult breathing or temperature so don't actually qualify for a pcr

OP posts:
Happy1982ish · 05/12/2021 08:44

Oh come on op
This time of year is busy for everyone
To cancel on a December Sunday, presumably with good friends, at last minute is poor

I am always baffled by how many’s betters post about not having close friends

And then I read a thread like this

And it’s like finding missing price of a jigsaw

CloudyStorms · 05/12/2021 08:45

@stripetop

If you have woken up with a cold you need a Pcr not a lateral flow and then cancel to await results.
No she doesn't
londonrach · 05/12/2021 08:45

We've a Xmas meal with friends today...one just cancelled due to cold. Totally agree with her decision why sit feeling ill and possibly passing it on. Yanbu. Cancel. Real friends would understand. Hope you feeling better soon x

Original poster
Fallingtopieces34 · 05/12/2021 08:45

@Roominmyhouse thanks for this, I just always feel like a cold is a bit of a pathetic excuse but I suppose different in these covid times. My daughter had this cold/virus a week ago and it wiped her out so probably got that to come. Hope you feel better soon.

OP posts:
CloudyStorms · 05/12/2021 08:46

I think if it's a group of them and they can carry on regardless then it's fine

Sirzy · 05/12/2021 08:47

I would be a bit pissed off if a friend cancelled just because they had over planned themselves and I was the disposable part of the plan.

Ski4130 · 05/12/2021 08:47

It depends on your friendship dynamic I’d say, close friends won’t mind, and I don’t mind if it’s close friends, as we know we’d only cancel for genuine reasons. If it’s a friendship that’s a bit flakey already it’s slightly different. If you’re ill you’re ill though, it’s a valid excuse.

WheelieBinPrincess · 05/12/2021 08:48

@stripetop

Why?

Warmduscher · 05/12/2021 08:48

We got together with friends last night and I’ve got the beginnings of what feels like just a normal cold, so I messaged them to ask if they were ok with us still coming - they were.

Why not do this? Unless you actually don’t want to go anyway?

icedcoffees · 05/12/2021 08:48

I'd be pretty pissed off if someone cancelled on me this late in the game.

I suppose if it's a group it's different?

Original poster
Fallingtopieces34 · 05/12/2021 08:49

Yeah its a group thing and various members of group often cancel on other plans we have but hasn't ever affected the dynamic before

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 05/12/2021 08:49

@Sirzy

I would be a bit pissed off if a friend cancelled just because they had over planned themselves and I was the disposable part of the plan.
Yeah; @Sirzy said it way better then I did.
Sprostongreen21 · 05/12/2021 08:50

If you feel unwell and don’t want to go then don’t go, it’s winter loads around atm and friends would understand. They probably wouldn’t want to catch it and spoil potential festive plans anyway.

I got one of the nasty viruses a month ago. Not ‘just a cold’ though I felt unwell for days. I did LFTs and pcr all negative. I have a great immune system normally and hadn’t been I’ll since 2018. I had 4 days on the couch resting then the cough kicked in. Had a week of work and took a month for everything to settle.

I had two events planned I couldn’t go to. My friends completely understood. One had a big birthday even that I was missing but she didn’t want to catch whatever I had beforehand anyway. Also right now with the testing etc that’s needed with some viral illness symptoms it can make hard work of being ill for school or work.

FreedomFaith · 05/12/2021 08:52

Those saying it's bad form, would you rather spend the day with someone who has possible covid or at the very least a bug of some form, and likely catch it from them? Hmm You people are strange... I'd be happy my friend stayed away while ill.

Roselilly36 · 05/12/2021 08:52

I would be grateful if you cancelled, I don’t want to catch a cold, especially just before Christmas. YANBU.

Roominmyhouse · 05/12/2021 08:53

[quote Fallingtopieces34]@Roominmyhouse thanks for this, I just always feel like a cold is a bit of a pathetic excuse but I suppose different in these covid times. My daughter had this cold/virus a week ago and it wiped her out so probably got that to come. Hope you feel better soon.[/quote]
Thanks, me too!

Even if they are disappointed, I’d hope people would understand you cancelling due to feeling unwell. If they don’t, I don’t think they are very good friends!

toomuchlaundry · 05/12/2021 08:53

Delta can present like a cold.

I started with cold symptoms (sneezing and runny nose). Now developed a cough so have arranged a PCR. Have now also got the most awful sore throat and feel grim. Whether just a cold or COVID, wouldn’t want to pass this on

Shedmistress · 05/12/2021 08:54

'overplanned'. Jeez.

OP if you don't feel well, stay at home. It is pushing through not wanting to upset friends who are delicate about people who 'overplan' that spreads colds all winter long.

Cattipuss · 05/12/2021 08:55

Meh, life happens. If you were going out as a group then the rest can still go out. If it was meeting with just one friend so they wouldn't be able to go if you cancelled I'd push through. Is there a chance to just go for a bit or something though? Maybe best of both worlds.

ButtercupBlue · 05/12/2021 08:56

Yanbu. I'd be grateful if a friend cancelled rather than turned up with a cold and potentially passed it on.

drpet49 · 05/12/2021 08:59

** Oh come on op
This time of year is busy for everyone
To cancel on a December Sunday, presumably with good friends, at last minute is poor**

^This