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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SO embarrased DP caught me but surely he is over reacting

81 replies

Whatajoke50 · 26/11/2021 18:11

I cant believe Im even writing this out, but his reactions shocked me so much that I'm thinking was what I did so f*cking bad...

DP and I have been bickering a lot recently, lockdown, 2 young dc has taken a toll on our relationship/sex life.

The kids went to bed about 7.30pm last night, Dp friend came round. I pottered about doing the washing, packed lunches etc, had a quick bath, came down and watched TV with them both for about an hour but I was literally drifting off it has been a long week.

I went up to bed about 10pm, our living room (where DP and friend was) is not near our bedroom. Couldnt hear anything from them.

So anyway, I have got in bed, been falling asleep and with like I said, feeling stressed from lack of sex life, rubbed one out 😳 with the lights off, not watching porn, I'm sure everyone does it 😂

Anyway, DPs friend must have left by now and DP came sneaking upstairs, burst the door open and put the light on. I was so embarrased from the shock of him barging in that I just pretended I was asleep/falling asleep and asked him what he was doing
He was pissed off I could tell and said "we both know what you was doing" and stormed off.

Been on edge all day waiting for him to come home from work, thinking will he mention it, was it even that big of a deal

Well my god he has said I'm weird for doing it on my own, why didnt I want to have sex with him instead, why would I do that when his friend is downstairs (I couldn't hear them and the bathroom isnt near so its not like he was going to just come in) like he has made me feel like such a freak. Dreading when the kids go bed and how awkward it will be tonight ...

OP posts:
FrustratedTeddyLamp · 26/11/2021 18:55

Don't think this happened and don't get the whole barging in and turning the light on thing, however roles reversed can see many posters suggesting they could understand why the OP was upset if she caught the DH/ partner wanking and kept saying he didn't want to have sex.

Still think it didn't happen though.
Rubbed one out for god sake.

JurassicShay · 26/11/2021 19:02

Wank whenever you want generally but I probably wouldn't be too happy if my partner was beating the meat upstairs and I was downstairs with a mate.

Also been of the receiving end of an ex wanking loads but not wanting sex which is not good for ones self confidence so wouldn't put anyone in that position by rubbing one out Grin when they were around.

LittleDandelionClock · 26/11/2021 19:03
Hmm
Deela14 · 26/11/2021 19:08

And when the world seems at its darkets...mns gives us this to remind us not all is doom and gloom Grin

EmeraldShamrock · 26/11/2021 19:09

I'm sure he does it too.
Don't be embarrassed, you needed some quiet time, his reaction is selfish.

trevthecat · 26/11/2021 19:49

Christ if my dh caught me it would make his world 😅

BonesInTheOcean · 26/11/2021 20:19

So what were you hoping for here op? Stories of being caught wanking?

Actupfishy · 26/11/2021 20:23

YABU for using the term ‘rubbed one out’ 🤮

Chely · 26/11/2021 20:29

My dh would have said "oh, warming up for me?"

Bellyups · 26/11/2021 20:35

I vote spy cam and him thinking his mate turned you on soooo much that you had to nip off for a wank.

He’s a silly little nob head isn’t he

Polmuggle · 26/11/2021 20:41

Hmm he just have been able to hear you from outtakes the door if he burst in to catch you!

JuditthIscariot · 26/11/2021 20:46

@trevthecat

Christ if my dh caught me it would make his world 😅
Mine too!
JamieNorthlife · 26/11/2021 21:09

@mumda

Reverse?
100%%%%

Hmm Hmm Hmm

EishetChayil · 26/11/2021 21:56

@stalkersaga

What's with all the threads about catching a partner wanking lately?

Fetishists. You'll find MN is overrun with them, if you read carefully enough.

Thatsplentyjack · 26/11/2021 22:17

@Waspsarearseholes

It just all sounds so...like it didn't happen.
Doesn't it!
Rogue1001 · 26/11/2021 22:35

Just rubbing one out while I wait for deletion message update

Moonmelodies · 26/11/2021 22:46

YABU for having a husband that uses the word 'was' in place of 'were'.

Sharletonz · 26/11/2021 22:50

@Actupfishy

YABU for using the term ‘rubbed one out’ 🤮
This was my first thought too..
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/11/2021 22:50

What’s weird is him sneaking upstairs, flinging the door open and switching on the lights.

If he’d expected you to be sleeping why do that?

Lougle · 26/11/2021 22:51

0/10

Deela14 · 26/11/2021 22:55

@Rogue1001 😂😂😂 arent we all

Branleuse · 26/11/2021 22:55

Cant you just tell him to piss off. Everybody wanks, and no need for him to be weird about it. So intrusive

miltonj · 26/11/2021 23:04

He sounds like a right weirdo.

Projecting so much onto you. He's insecure because of your decrease in sex life snd also thinks you fancy his mate.

He doesn't understand that female masturbation isn't always about sex but can be about relaxation too.

His reaction was completely unreasonable and you shouldn't be so nervous and awkward in your own home, with the man you've had kids with! Do NOT apologise. By all means have a discussion with him about it and try and sort it out but do not accept or admit any fault.

billy1966 · 26/11/2021 23:12

He sounds like a nasty piece of work and you soumd afraid of him and his reaction.

Such a strange reaction.

OP, his reaction is not normal.
Him bursting in was an invasion of your privacy and awful behaviour.

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

You have married an ugly little man.

Mind yourself.

Call Womens aid for a chat if you feel you need support.

Flowers
TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 26/11/2021 23:52

If you're rubbing you're doing it wrong! Your DP is a dickhead.

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