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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SO embarrased DP caught me but surely he is over reacting

81 replies

Whatajoke50 · 26/11/2021 18:11

I cant believe Im even writing this out, but his reactions shocked me so much that I'm thinking was what I did so f*cking bad...

DP and I have been bickering a lot recently, lockdown, 2 young dc has taken a toll on our relationship/sex life.

The kids went to bed about 7.30pm last night, Dp friend came round. I pottered about doing the washing, packed lunches etc, had a quick bath, came down and watched TV with them both for about an hour but I was literally drifting off it has been a long week.

I went up to bed about 10pm, our living room (where DP and friend was) is not near our bedroom. Couldnt hear anything from them.

So anyway, I have got in bed, been falling asleep and with like I said, feeling stressed from lack of sex life, rubbed one out 😳 with the lights off, not watching porn, I'm sure everyone does it 😂

Anyway, DPs friend must have left by now and DP came sneaking upstairs, burst the door open and put the light on. I was so embarrased from the shock of him barging in that I just pretended I was asleep/falling asleep and asked him what he was doing
He was pissed off I could tell and said "we both know what you was doing" and stormed off.

Been on edge all day waiting for him to come home from work, thinking will he mention it, was it even that big of a deal

Well my god he has said I'm weird for doing it on my own, why didnt I want to have sex with him instead, why would I do that when his friend is downstairs (I couldn't hear them and the bathroom isnt near so its not like he was going to just come in) like he has made me feel like such a freak. Dreading when the kids go bed and how awkward it will be tonight ...

OP posts:
2bazookas · 26/11/2021 18:26

"cock nostril"

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 26/11/2021 18:27

That's weird. I do it loads of times when my DH goes out and I tell him. It doesn't bother him. We do have quite a good sex life as well. Have done it when he's in but only when he was on a call downstairs or asleep in the spare room and I can't sleep myself.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/11/2021 18:27

He thought you were in bed asleep and burst in putting the light on? That’s grounds for divorce.

FunkyCrunky · 26/11/2021 18:29

Is he one of them that thinks that masturbation is the enemy of sex? I had an ex that was like this Hmm - he thought it was ok for me, but not for women.

Glad he's an ex Smile

FunkyCrunky · 26/11/2021 18:30

Correction. He thought it was ok for men and not for women

WorraLiberty · 26/11/2021 18:30

@mumda

Reverse?
She hasn't said which position she was in...
Yummypumpkin · 26/11/2021 18:30

I feel so sorry for you!! His reaction is really shaming and just weird.

I guess I can see he might weirdly have thought it was on account of his friend. I guess I can see if you're not having much sex then he thinks he has a point.

But he is acting as if he owns your body and you've no right to use it without his permission!!

HPIEX · 26/11/2021 18:31

Sounds like an uptight control freak! I'd leave anyone who tried to shame me like that! Doesn't sound like a fun person at all!

PoppyMonth · 26/11/2021 18:34

Wow. What a weird dynamic.

aConcernedPrude · 26/11/2021 18:34

I'd be having another one tonight if I were you.

neverbeenskiing · 26/11/2021 18:36

Why should you feel awkward? You haven't done anything wrong! He sounds very childish.

Chikapu · 26/11/2021 18:38

You are massively unreasonable for using the phrase 'rubbed one out'. That's rank.

NiceTwin · 26/11/2021 18:39

Rubbed one out Hmm
What an awful expression.

He sounds plain weird.

Chunkymenrock · 26/11/2021 18:39

I'd be far more annoyed by his mangling of grammar. Tell him to grow up and speak properly.

Suzi888 · 26/11/2021 18:40

Rubbed one out 🤣🤣🤣🤣 your partner is being very unreasonable (how loud were you)🤣 Ask him to join in next time.

HairyFanjoBanjo · 26/11/2021 18:42

Perhaps he's got a spy cam in the bedroom..

Psychonabike · 26/11/2021 18:43

He doesn't have control over you and your body and it's really none of his business.

I think I would tell him that quite frankly.

"Yes, you disturbed me. It's my body, I wasn't doing anything wrong and it has nothing to do with you, or our sex life together. The way that you are talking and behaving about this is really concerning, and controlling. The only inappropriate thing that happened was how you burst into the room, turning the light on when I had a reasonable expectation of a moment of privacy".

LowlyTheWorm · 26/11/2021 18:44

Oh man- I’ve said yanbu as he is. Clearly. However, I must admit that if my husband and I were struggling to connect sexually and I caught him having a wank I would similarly be pissed off and hurt. Like- if you want sexual enjoyment why not have it with your partner? I get it.

girlmom21 · 26/11/2021 18:44

I think it's really weird that you did it while his friend was in the house. I also think it's weird that you pretended to be asleep.

I think he's weird for not understanding that sometimes you just need to sort yourself out and he's a knob for thinking that means he's entitled to sex.

AnyFucker · 26/11/2021 18:45

Yeah, women do it too

Blah blah < yawn >

nimbuscloud · 26/11/2021 18:45

Friday nights on MN - yet again the gift that keeps on giving

AllTheWeetabix · 26/11/2021 18:46

Fuck me there is some uptight people on here 🤣 she said “rubbed one out” so what!

Also there is some hilarious responses 🤣

hugocat · 26/11/2021 18:48

@stalkersaga

What's with all the threads about catching a partner wanking lately?
Where are these wanking threads? 😂 not seen any
Waspsarearseholes · 26/11/2021 18:48

It just all sounds so...like it didn't happen.

pinkfondu · 26/11/2021 18:51

He knows because of how many times he's nearly been caught.

He's an idiot to have a go like that. You e done nothing wrong.

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