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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have a favourite child?

75 replies

videovixen · 21/11/2021 15:39

I was having a conversation with my friend recently and the topic of favouritism with kids came up.

My friend was saying that she thinks people who have a favourite child loves that child more than the other/others. When I was growing up I always thought if someone has a favourite child, it just means they like them more than their other kids (either because of personality, their connection or that child is just more likeable) but it never occurred to me that they may love that child more. Tbh I still think the same thing now so I was really interested in her viewpoint as I'd never considered it.

What are people's views on this? If you have a favourite child do you love them more than the other/others? May be hard to admit but I just wonder how if this is really the case for some people

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 21/11/2021 15:43

Yes but it changes by the hour and the situation 🤣

Seriously though no, I don’t have a favourite child. I have times when I like one more than the other or times i prefer doing something with one more than the other but overall I couldn’t tell you which was my favourite. They are polar opposites as well.

Isseywith3witchycats · 21/11/2021 15:44

my middle child is my favourite only because she is the only girl and i get on with her in a different way to the boys i dont love her more than the boys just like her in a different way

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 21/11/2021 15:44

Yes I do. But then I only have one child.

GodIsAVegan · 21/11/2021 15:47

This gets asked regularly on here.

But no, I don’t have a favourite child, I have 2 and they’re both really kind and funny. They’re teenagers and so far we haven’t had any trouble from either of them, they’re just easy going. And I love them both and would do anything for either of them. They have a lovely relationship with each other too. I feel very lucky.

Quickchangeartiste · 21/11/2021 15:48

I do - my nephew 😁 But then I don’t have any of my own…

Aimily · 21/11/2021 15:49

I always answer dh or the dog.

Tbh I sometimes like one more than the other, but I will always love them equally.

CoodleMoodle · 21/11/2021 15:53

Depends which one is being more of a demon at the time. When the 7yo is stropping about something then I prefer the 3yo. When the 3yo is having a tantrum, I prefer the 7yo.

At the moment the 7yo is my favourite more often, and I'm sure that'll change when she's a teenager! When DS was a quiet, immobile newborn and DD was a furious 4yo, he was my favourite. Now she's my best pal again, and he's a permanent ball of rage, so we're not always friends.

It swaps all the time. I like them best when they're playing nicely together. Or when they're asleep.

Comedycook · 21/11/2021 15:57

I love them equally...but one of my children is incredibly difficult to parent...and the other is very easy to parent. I don't get much joy out of parenting the former. In fact I dread most days.
With my easier child, I genuinely enjoy parenting.
Like, I said though, I love them both.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 21/11/2021 15:58

Yeah… whoever is cooperating/sleeping at that moment.

Brigittebidet · 21/11/2021 16:07

I’m the same as @Comedycook - one child is significantly easier to parent. However, I probably have more in common with him than with DD and we are close. DD lights up my life, but she has yet to hit adolescence so I am reserving judgment.

Dog is definitely easiest and by far the favourite though.

Tonyschoco · 21/11/2021 16:09

What’s with your compulsion to post quite goady/volatile threads @videovixen?

Breastfeeding the other day, favourite children today….?

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/11/2021 16:10

I think it can mean either
And fine either way (in that you can’t help it) as long as they never know

DeepaBeesKit · 21/11/2021 16:12

I don't have a favourite. I love them both differently, equally.

Doona · 21/11/2021 16:13

No, but sometimes there's one that's more vulnerable than the others, so I start to obsess about them, and it can give the impression they're my favourite.

HippeePrincess · 21/11/2021 16:14

Yes, the dog.

Wotagain · 21/11/2021 16:15

Yes I do, but my favourite is everyone else’s favourite in the family too Grin just because the favourite is a pretty awesome person. But I love all of them the same and enjoy being in their company, especially one on one.

Funnylittlefloozie · 21/11/2021 16:15

Fortunately I only have one, so she's both my favourite and my least favourite child.

My old cat, who was PTS about 4 years ago, was actually my favourite child Grin

Roselilly36 · 21/11/2021 16:17

@TheWayTheLightFalls

Yeah… whoever is cooperating/sleeping at that moment.
😂 so true, great reply!
HelenaJustina · 21/11/2021 16:18

My favourite is the one who last made me a cup of tea without being asked. I joke about it with them all frequently. They can make it to the top spot by making the lunchboxes, getting the laundry off the line, they know it’s not ‘real’ and that I love them all equally.

WimpoleHat · 21/11/2021 16:18

I always thought people did have a favourite child, but wouldn’t admit it. Now I have two myself, I know that I definitely don’t!

Babdoc · 21/11/2021 16:20

My two DDs always accused me of favouring the other one when they were children, so I think I got the balance right!
And no, I don't have a favourite. They are very different in everything - personality, interests, handedness, one is autistic one neurotypical, so I love each in different ways and for different reasons.

Original poster
videovixen · 21/11/2021 16:20

Depends which one is being more of a demon at the time.

Yeah… whoever is cooperating/sleeping at that moment.

Love these comments😂😂

There's only been a handful of replies but that's exactly what I thought it meant to have a favourite child. You may like/prefer one more than the other the majority of the times or just sometimes but you still love all your children equally.
Of course it's going to be different for every parent tho

OP posts:
DeadButDelicious · 21/11/2021 16:20

Definitely the dog 😂😂.

MsSquiz · 21/11/2021 16:22

At the moment, the one I'm still carrying (18 weeks pregnant) is my favourite, but that's because dd seems to have perfected toddler tantrums this week 😂

Original poster
videovixen · 21/11/2021 16:24

@Tonyschoco what are you even talking about? Most of the posts I've made have been about my own personal experiences or based on conversations I've had with someone else. When did I ever post a thread about breastfeeding? So confusedConfused

OP posts: