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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grandma present to teenage grandson for his birthday

236 replies

wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:05

My parents have given my son £50, an unwrapped options hot chocolate she got from the supermarket on the way to my place, some mince pies (wrapped as a gift) and some fudge also wrapped. He's 15. She said she didn't want to get him too much food as she knows he struggles with his weight (why buy him food items at all then) I can't help but think that apart from the money this is a strange present for a 15 year old boy. She hasn't even wrapped the hot chocolate and it was shoved in the gift bag at the last minute. I know they weren't sure what to get him but I think just giving him the money or an xbox voucher would have been better. Mince pies?!! The other grandparents have bought him thoughtful gifts they know he will like, which are tailored to his interests. I'm prepared to be flamed for this but I'm just thinking 🧐 how odd. For added context they are not hard up for cash and I know its the thought that counts but I'm not sure what to make of this. What do others think?

OP posts:
fallfallfall · 12/11/2021 04:09

do people individually wrap items in a gift bag?
is your 15 year old happy?

Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:11

The others are wrapped but the hot chocolate isn't. He hasn't opened it yet as his birthday is in s few days time

OP posts:
SunLovingMummy · 12/11/2021 04:16

£50 was more than enough. If you’re not happy with what they give, now that you know £50 is the value they’ll gift, why not give them a few suggestions in the future that are around £50 or a few items that combined add up to £50.

Very generous of them.

Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:23

Yes good idea, I'll do that in the future I think. Of course we're grateful for their generosity, just wanted others thoughts on it.

OP posts:
CiaoEB · 12/11/2021 04:24

Isn’t the £50 the money part and the extra stuff is just thrown in as a bonus? My kids would be happy with that, money and food sounds like a great present to be honest. And never try and compare what different people give as gifts then find fault with it, that’s a no win situation there.

rrhuth · 12/11/2021 04:27

I think this is nice enough, except you sound worried about his weight, in which case a few tiny non-food presents + £50 would be better?

But I'd have no issue with this and would take my DC shopping to buy something nice with the money.

Forgetaboutme · 12/11/2021 04:27

Does he like the food items? Unless he doesn't, I don't understand the problem. My inlaws usually do something similar for our teenager. Some money in a card (usually about £30) and some coca cola and bakery items. He's always pretty happy with this because he likes getting snacks to himself.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 12/11/2021 04:28

"Of course we're grateful for their generosity"

No you're not. Why did you start the thread?

£50 plus some bits of treaty food, they presumably thought he would like, in a gift bag for a 15 year old. Sounds fine, and generous to me. Is your DS complaining about the present, or is it just you?

Welcometothejingles · 12/11/2021 04:29

It's not that they didn't give him anything, he got £50 which is very generous. I'd view the others as a bonus gift and share it out with guests if he struggles with weight. None issue tbh. Mine don't bother, we'd be lucky to get a text.

alexdgr8 · 12/11/2021 04:37

@rrhuth

I think this is nice enough, except you sound worried about his weight, in which case a few tiny non-food presents + £50 would be better?

But I'd have no issue with this and would take my DC shopping to buy something nice with the money.

you'd take a 15 year old shopping. ? unless you live in the outback. he's 15 not 5.

but the gifts sound fine. lucky boy.
OP, you sound like you want to disapprove of your parents.

malificent7 · 12/11/2021 04:43

I do think it's odd to buy him food if they know he's trying to watch his weight. The 50 quid is great tgough.

rrhuth · 12/11/2021 04:44

you'd take a 15 year old shopping. ? unless you live in the outback.
he's 15 not 5.

I get on well with my kids, and we sometimes go into town. They can spend it when in town with their friends if they want.

Don't look for the issue when none exists.

Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:51

I think its odd to buy food items for a boy who struggles with his weight, at no point did I say I wasn't grateful for the money and of course its generous but thanks for the opinions so far.

OP posts:
fallfallfall · 12/11/2021 04:54

if they know it’s something he’ll enjoy, food isn’t odd.

diamondpony80 · 12/11/2021 04:54

£50 is the gift and then she added in some extra treats? My mum would do that - she always sends bits and pieces like Nutella and things my son likes (but knows I wouldn't normally buy).

Snoozer11 · 12/11/2021 05:03

I once mentioned I like mince pies to my nan and I've received a box every Christmas and birthday since. It always makes me chuckle.

They sound very generous. £50 from grandparents for a birthday is a huge amount!

whenthedoveslie · 12/11/2021 05:13

50 pounds, hot chocolate and mince pies sounds like a lovely gift.

If the extras bother you so much you can donate them to a food bank.

The oddest thing about this gift is that you came here to post about it.

Muchuseaschocolateteapot · 12/11/2021 05:31

Is it possible that he has had that hot chocolate and some mince pies with them and enjoyed them? If so it’s super thoughtful that they have included them in his gift.

Pixxie7 · 12/11/2021 05:35

Buying got teenagers is incredibly difficult unless you have been given some ideas or they have a hobby. So giving money and a few edible treats seems reasonable to me, they have obviously put some thought into it by the fact that they have wrapped them up.

theculture · 12/11/2021 05:37

When you say he struggles with his weight what is the context; chubby? Obese? Hiding food?

The £50 is no problem and the food depends on what the situation is with him (and how much they really know about it if there is one!)

Workinghardeveryday · 12/11/2021 05:39

My mil once bought my then 9 year old dd some cheapo hand cream - not wrapped and a card!!

MsMarple · 12/11/2021 05:43

I thought odd at first, but on reflection my son would actually love money, mince pies, and hot chocolate!

BritWifeInUSA · 12/11/2021 05:47

Mince pies….that would be heavenly for me. I don’t see a problem with giving someone food and drink items as a gift. It’s no different from chocolate, cake or wine.

Original poster
wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 05:51

@Pixxie7

Buying got teenagers is incredibly difficult unless you have been given some ideas or they have a hobby. So giving money and a few edible treats seems reasonable to me, they have obviously put some thought into it by the fact that they have wrapped them up.
Well they've wrapped some of them up. The hot chocolate is loose at the bottom of the gift bag. My son has a lot of hobbies but I agree it can be difficult to buy for teenage boys. I've never known mince pies to be given as a birthday gift before. To me, mince pies and options hot chocolate is something I would buy regularly in the standard food shop. It just doesn't have a 'gifty' feel about it which was why I suggested that the money might have been better given on its own. But that's Jmo. Obviously I'd never mention this to my parents there's no way I'd want to offend them.
OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 12/11/2021 05:55

The gifts without the money wouldn’t have been very nice. But they’ve given him £50 and loving him with food. At 15, he will either think happy thoughts about the mince pies and hot chocolate or laugh. Does it really matter?