Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Grandma present to teenage grandson for his birthday

236 replies

wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 04:05

My parents have given my son £50, an unwrapped options hot chocolate she got from the supermarket on the way to my place, some mince pies (wrapped as a gift) and some fudge also wrapped. He's 15. She said she didn't want to get him too much food as she knows he struggles with his weight (why buy him food items at all then) I can't help but think that apart from the money this is a strange present for a 15 year old boy. She hasn't even wrapped the hot chocolate and it was shoved in the gift bag at the last minute. I know they weren't sure what to get him but I think just giving him the money or an xbox voucher would have been better. Mince pies?!! The other grandparents have bought him thoughtful gifts they know he will like, which are tailored to his interests. I'm prepared to be flamed for this but I'm just thinking 🧐 how odd. For added context they are not hard up for cash and I know its the thought that counts but I'm not sure what to make of this. What do others think?

OP posts:
shumway · 12/11/2021 11:54

I think it sounds a lovely thoughtful gift.

nanbread · 12/11/2021 11:59

@gerispringer

My MiL can beat this for random gifts- she gave my DD a ball of elastic bands dropped by the postmen which she had collected over the year, another time it was last years diary someone had given her - “the days are wrong but you can still use it”, an ashtray and a can of Stellar to my adult Ds( “for his visitors “ - he doesn’t smoke/drink) , occasionally a Sainsbury’s £10:gift card but usually no money - that would have been welcome! We still laugh about it.
Haha

My aunt gave my mum an opened, 2/3rd full bottle of Martini Bianco, that she'd nicked from their deceased brother's house when clearing it out. It had a thick layer of dust on it.

nanbread · 12/11/2021 12:00

As for the present here, my son is younger but would love £50 and some fudge

Does he particularly like mince pies and hot choc? Maybe there's a memory from his youth she's trying to recreate

Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 12:37

@shumway

I think it sounds a lovely thoughtful gift.
Really, to me it just sounds like they grabbed a couple of random things from the supermarket and gave him money. Kind of sound like they forgot.
Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 12:38

@lollipoprainbow

My dd would be happy with anything from her GP's but they aren't around anymore.
Aw God there's always one!
KT1992 · 12/11/2021 12:44

By saying “for content their not hard up for cash” makes it’s very clear you would have liked them to spend more, your ungreatful and if not your not careful that spoilt attitude will rub off on your children.
The gift was kind and plenty generous

Ilovecaviar · 12/11/2021 12:54

I’m betting, given the other items in the bag that the hot chocolate has either been left in the shopping bag by mistake or they remember him drinking/enjoying some and just thought to get him a drink to go with the mince pies. I wouldn’t say it was intended to hurt or anything just sounds like they didn’t know what to get and didn’t think to ask.

RealBecca · 12/11/2021 12:54

My sister and i had an auntie that did tbis sort of thing and years later its still a befuddling, fond memory we laugh about at birthday and christmas dos!

Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 12:55

This is mn OP where you should be tripping over yourself with gratitude if someone gives you the reek aff their shite.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/11/2021 12:59

@Thatsplentyjack

This is mn OP where you should be tripping over yourself with gratitude if someone gives you the reek aff their shite.
He got £50. It's not exactly a slap in the face with a wet fish.
iklboo · 12/11/2021 13:02

MIL always gets us 'silly' wrap up gifts for birthdays & Christmas as well as the main gift. She likes to think of the smile when we open them.

SusieBob · 12/11/2021 13:04

So the kid got money, which at that age is what they really want and a few treats to go along with it?

Seems absolutely spot on to me.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 12/11/2021 13:12

Aww cmon it's odd! People are being deliberately disagreeable surely! Grin
They did what my mil does.
'I'll just give them cash ..... hmmm that looks a bit thoughtless so I'll go to Sainsbury's and just Chuck old shite in the gift bag '

Belledan1 · 12/11/2021 13:45

Thatsplentyjack. That's a nice comment isnt it. My ds has no grandparents too and it is very sad that he doesn't and Dh and I have no parents. I assume you are not in this situation.

Belledan1 · 12/11/2021 13:46

Sorry the post should have been to StrychnineInTheSandwiches

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 12/11/2021 13:48

@Belledan1

Thatsplentyjack. That's a nice comment isnt it. My ds has no grandparents too and it is very sad that he doesn't and Dh and I have no parents. I assume you are not in this situation.
??

no idea what you're referring to.

Belledan1 · 12/11/2021 13:51

Sorry StrychnineInTheSandwiches I am reading on my phone and thought I put the wrong poster. I am so sorry.

EmeraldShamrock · 12/11/2021 13:57

I'll just give them cash ..... hmmm that looks a bit thoughtless so I'll go to Sainsbury's and just Chuck old shite in the gift bag '
I don't think that is fair if the birthday DC requested cash, it's easy to bulk it up with a few quid from the supermarket or would you like a thoughtful gift too with the cash?
Some people are never pleased, any children over 12 in this extended family ask for cash in a card.

wobblywinelover · 12/11/2021 13:58

@KT1992

By saying “for content their not hard up for cash” makes it’s very clear you would have liked them to spend more, your ungreatful and if not your not careful that spoilt attitude will rub off on your children. The gift was kind and plenty generous
It was for context. If I hadn't put it then people would have said £50 is a huge amount of money, they are probably poor pensioners etc. You are totally wrong to assume that. You haven't even read the post by the sounds of it. Do you always talk in such a condescending way 🤨 watch out, it will rub off on your children!
OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 14:00

@Belledan1

Thatsplentyjack. That's a nice comment isnt it. My ds has no grandparents too and it is very sad that he doesn't and Dh and I have no parents. I assume you are not in this situation.
Why does it always have to be a race to the bloody bottom? Can't post something about getting a weird present from someone because you should just be grateful that person is alive 🙄
Lollolloll · 12/11/2021 14:01

So is the general consensus that giving cash is thoughtless and something more meaningful is better?

I’m confused! Surely cash is preferable that getting something worth £50 that you don’t want or need?

SusieBob · 12/11/2021 14:03

At 15 what you want is cash.

Not a shitty voucher that you can only spend in one shop, some clothes that will just go back to the shop or a relatives attempt at picking out an XBox game.

Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 14:03

He got £50. It's not exactly a slap in the face with a wet fish.

Im not talking about the money. The rest of the "gifts" are crap, especially to a 15 year old.

AmyDudley · 12/11/2021 14:06

@Faevern Your son needs to be reminded to be grateful?

Give the kid a chance - he hasn't even had his birthday yet

I think you are getting a hard time OP. Nowhere have you said you aren't grateful for the £50, which is absolutely fine as a present and am sure your DS will be delighted with. You've just said that the other gifts are a bit random, which indeed they are. You and your DS can have a bit of a laugh over them. I sometimes put something a bit random in with a gift especially if it is money, as I sort of feel 'it's nice to have a little surprise. For example for Xmas I might get my DDIL a bottle of gin (which I know she will love) and then pop in a packet of Dreamies for her cats. It's just to give her a bit of a smile - of course she can go and buy cat treats herself if she wants to. I'm probably the same kind of age as your parents, so maybe its age related daftness Grin

On the flip side my nieces grandmother (DSIS's MIL) used to send them a few of those little sample things of cream or perfume you get stuck on the outside of magazines. And nothing else, which to my mind is a crap present. (She had loads of money just couldn't be arsed with them).

Anyway I hope your DS has a lovely day and enjoys spending his £50 (and drinking his Options Grin)

Thatsplentyjack · 12/11/2021 14:08

The money is spot on for a teenager (maybe the OP thought they should give more, or maybe they have in the past) but the rest is just plain odd and all the faux "lovely thoughtful gifts" and "my teens would have been delighted with their very own jar of hot chocolate" are just as draft as the gifts themselves. Not the worst things to get, but they are weird for gifts, and people are going a bit ott with trying to pretend they're not.