Sharing a bed

[kenpogurl]

Been seeing DP for about 6 months and he’s always had this thing about not being face to face in bed (mainly to sleep but also when relaxing/chatting in bed). He won’t sleep on his back at all so either he’s got his arm around me, vice versa or backs to each other. Doesn’t really bother me, but then facing each other for some of the time wouldn’t either. If ever I turn to face him in the night he instantly says “face the wall!” and is awake until we shift around and then he falls back to sleep straight away and I’m awake wondering why it’s such a big deal. I don’t even know how he wakes up every time as he’s a really good sleeper. He says I’m being unreasonable- no one wants to face each other in bed, or breathe on each other in the night. I say he’s being a bit weird for this to be such a big thing!

Lighthearted. Just curious. AIBU?

Yes- I’m being unreasonable, couples should never face/breathe on each other in bed, ever.

No- he’s a weirdo, it’s okay to face each other sometimes during the night.

I hate DH breathing on me!!

Cant stand being face to face

Not going to vote because you've manipulated it

But I don't like face to face breathing on each other either. However, I'm annoyed that he tells you to face the wall instead of turning over himself!

I'd tell him bollocks.

DH & I have slept pretty much back to back for 20 years.

But telling you to face the wall is bang out of order. Bollocks to that.

Maybe it’s a breath issue?

I was worried about that! He says not and he’s always been like this. He also said he worries about his breath but I’ve not noticed it being an issue. Maybe I’ll buy extra toothpaste for next weekend to be sure!

We sleep as far away from each other as possible and never face one another.

I totally get what he means, I’m the same, though it sounds like he could be a little nicer about his preference

I’m quickly realising that I am the strange one here. I mean it’s not that I intentionally turn to face him/breathe on him but I can sleep that way, or not. But it seems maybe I’m a minority. Next time I need to turn over (I have a bad back and have to turn over occasionally for comfort or I would be awake all night), I’ll demand he turns and faces the wall 🤣

I can't be doing with DH breathing in my face. I don't say face the wall though - it's face the window If he's on his back, he snores.
Facing the window is the only position he doesn't make noise.

If someone said to me, face the wall, they'd only say it once

Absolutely cannot handle DP breathing on me in the night and I wouldn't subject him to my breath either as I'm always worrying it stinks for no good reason. We always sleep back to back or if he rolls over my way I face the other way

He could be nicer in the way he asked though

@immersivereader

If someone said to me, face the wall, they'd only say it once

This.

I hate getting breathed on but I would never dream of speaking to DH (or anyone) like this and if he ever said it to me, he'd damn well never say it again.

I wouldn’t stay with someone who barked orders at me like a sergeant major to face the wall

What next? Does he say drop and give me 20?

We say turn over please, but definitely no face-to-face sleeping here

DH and I sleep in all kinds of positions including face to face. I like sleeping cuddled up on his chest. I only tell him to roll over if he snores or if I’m falling off the edge eg if he’s starfished out. I also like snuggling up to his back when it’s cold, but I’d never tell him to turn just because I wanted his back as a radiator! If I’m uncomfortable eg he’s on my pillow or squashing my arm, I just wriggle about until he moves over. We have a big bed which probably helps.

Been married nearly 20 years and never face each other in bed. Someone breathing in my face with morning breath yuk!

But he should turn over not tell you to

He has the issue with it and yet he barks orders at you instead of just turning over himself? Whatever my sleeping preferences I would never speak to someone like that

My DP has a similar thing about not wanting to sleep face to face (I think it might be a snoring thing). He would never say "face the wall"" like that though. That's a bit Escape from Alcatraz.

@iklboogiemaninthecloset

But telling you to face the wall is bang out of order. Bollocks to that.

Exactly. Fair enough if he doesn't want to be face to face but in that case he should roll over. You can't dictate to someone which side of their body they lay on.

I love sleeping snuggled up next to DP (except when he is snoring)
He is warm and toasty and like someone else said I often curl up against his back for the heat. Don't mind face to face when we first get into bed at night but by the morning I worry things might be a bit smelly so we tend to face away from each other

If DP barked at me to face the wall I would boot him off the bed.

Yeah I really don't like DH breathing on me. I'm autistic and it's distracting and wakes me up.

I don’t like face to face sleeping either. I put one of our rectangular bed pillows between our pillows, when we’re going to sleep. Then we can both face which way we like but not be breathing all over each other.