Sharing a bed

[kenpogurl]

Been seeing DP for about 6 months and he’s always had this thing about not being face to face in bed (mainly to sleep but also when relaxing/chatting in bed). He won’t sleep on his back at all so either he’s got his arm around me, vice versa or backs to each other. Doesn’t really bother me, but then facing each other for some of the time wouldn’t either. If ever I turn to face him in the night he instantly says “face the wall!” and is awake until we shift around and then he falls back to sleep straight away and I’m awake wondering why it’s such a big deal. I don’t even know how he wakes up every time as he’s a really good sleeper. He says I’m being unreasonable- no one wants to face each other in bed, or breathe on each other in the night. I say he’s being a bit weird for this to be such a big thing!

Lighthearted. Just curious. AIBU?

Yes- I’m being unreasonable, couples should never face/breathe on each other in bed, ever.

No- he’s a weirdo, it’s okay to face each other sometimes during the night.

I always face out the way, don't care what DH does but I was just thinking I need to ask him To swap Places for a bit as I get a bit sore always sleeping in the same position!

I've often asked DP to face the wall. Not barked, not roared but asked nicely. I cannot BEAR face to face sleeping. He snores and makes these really annoying throat clicky sounds. I ask him nicely but in my heart I want to smother him.

Ordering you to face the wall is rude, if he’s the one with the issue he can ask nicely, or turn around himself.
But no, I don’t like sleeping face to face really.

Hate sleeping face to face, if DH turns to face me i will turn the other way.

He tells you to face the wall 😳 he sounds lovely.

I hate being face to face but I wouldn't make my husband turn over, I would just turn over myself.

I hate being breathed on...😂

Don’t do face to face, I sleep facing away and he changes sides or I sleep snuggled up to him if I’m cold but he has to be facing the other way. We have a superking which makes things so much easier 😂

Why doesn’t he turn over, instead of making you do it?
I don’t much like being face to face in bed, so if DH rolls over to face me I roll the other way (if I notice).
It’s his preference not yours, so he can alter his sleeping position to accommodate it.
And if anyone repeatedly told me to ‘face the wall’ in bed, I’d be out of there to be honest.

I like to fall asleep breathing in as DH breathes out, it has always felt very romantic and bonding, still does 30 years later.

I can't stand someone breathing on me, could ever sleep face to face.

I would turn over though, not expect my husband to.

I don't like being breathed on in bed either. I always roll over with my back to DH to go to sleep. BUT, I'd never shout at him to turn over!

If ever I turn to face him in the night he instantly says “face the wall!”

Why are you accepting this?

If he speaks to you like that now...what's he going to be like in the future?

If he doesn't like it, he can turn over!!

I think your ABU is a bit loaded the way you have worded it. But generally no, I would not want to face somebody whilst sleeping.

He needs to turn if he’s got a problem with it.

You’re not stuck between him and a wall are you, with him on the outside? I’d be insisting on having the outside, especially as he’s so fussy.

Not voting.
There is no right nor wrong way.

In the early part of the night.dh and I hold hands or I have my head on his chest but then we both roll in whatever position is comfortable. And both move during the night. I hate him breathing on my face.

I always sleep with my back to my husband. Can't stand being breathed on.

I genuinely thought I was weird for hating DH breathing on me in bed til read this thread Agree with PP's that your DH barking orders and making you turn when it's him who minds is out of order though.

My preference is that my husband faces away from me when he sleeps. I wouldn't wake him up in the middle of the night because of it though. I'd only wake someone up if I absolutely needed to because I can't get back to sleep otherwise (they have all the covers, they're on my side and I don't have enough space etc.). And still I'd try to encourage gently first without waking.

We have a superking bed so even when we face each other we're a pilows width apart therefore it doesn't bother me. If we shared a double bed I'd hate it but equally I wouldn't tell me partner to FACE THE WALL in the middle of the night. Bizarre. Maybe suggest a bigger bed.

Sounds like a definite phobia actually. I think I have it too, i don’t mind facing each other chatting, but if he’s too close or something is near my face I genuinely freak out. The fear of suffocating maybe as I’m very aware I’m breathing in his carbon dioxide 🙈

It’s mad/I’m mad, but would never shout at him to face the wall.

Ffs! I posted the other day on a thread about a single women wanting a man, about the SHIT people have to put up with to have the status of having a man.
Face the fucking wall! Id have him blooming arrested. Im furious for you.

LTB

I agree can’t stand being breathed on. But if he’s that bothered he can turn himself over, he’s already awake?

I was with my partner for 12 years and we never faced each other, however, I was never told to face the wall. The thought of someone saying that to me actually makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Why can't he turn the other way? It's his preference after all. Sorry but to me that's a red flag.

We're back to back sleepers. Can't stand it if I can feel DH breathing on me.

I hate face to face too. I always tell my DH to turn around. He dose it to me too but usually because I’m snoring. Think your making too much out of this. Fine he can be a little politer than just saying face the wall but I don’t think it’s an issue. Then again if our bed was next to a wall I’d probably say face the wall to my DH 🤷🏼‍♀️