To ask what age your child started nursery?

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Me and DH have been thinking lately about applying for a nursery place for DS. One morning or afternoon session per week. He's a lockdown baby so hasn't had much interaction with other children. We go to a toddler group 45 minute session each week but that's about the only similar age interaction he has. We don't have friends either kids yet and no other young children in the family.

I'm torn between whether to send him or not.

On one hand I think he would benefit a lot socially from it and do think he'd have fun learning and playing with new people/things. I won't lie, I'd also benefit from it as I could have a morning/afternoon to get all the house chores done and just catch up on bits that I don't otherwise get much chance to do.

On the other hand however, I wonder if he's too young at only 18 months old when there's no great need for him to go and I do want to spend time with him as I know they're only this little once.

AIBU to consider this?

My eldest started at 1 doing 8-6 2 days a week because I was working. My youngest started at 3 and he does 15 hours.
Half a day at 18 months I would say is a really nice gentle induction.

Eldest was 5 months as I had to go back to work.

Middle was 3 (he attends a special SEN setting)

Youngest will 3 as well when 15 free hours kick in

Mine went from 3 but went straight to the school nursery. I have no regrets about waiting this long and both settled well on the first day.

I think it's important they do something away from mum or dad from about age 3, it allows them to get used to it while still having higher adult/child ratios, rather than going straight in at school age and having to cope with suddenly not being with a parent AND dealing with a relatively low amount of adult individual attention.

However, half days here and there make it very difficult for children to settle & bond with another caregiver, which is essential at this age. Its why many settings insist upon a minimum of 2 days/ 4 half days a week. The child needs to feel familiar and at home in the setting and they wont at only a half day each week

Bear in mind that one morning/afternoon a week is not frequent enough to settle them in which is why most nurseries won’t allow it.

Mine went from 8 months. He’s now almost 3 and does 5 full days, as both DH and I work full time.

The only thing to be wary of is that children who only go to nursery one day/half day a week will likely take a lot longer to settle than those that do at least a couple of days, as they’re never really there for long enough to properly get into the nursery routine. I have a friend with a DD the same age as DS who did this and just attended on a Friday. It took about 6 months for her to not get upset about going and my friend nearly gave up on a number of occasions, but now she loves it.

I'm a SAHM so never had to go back to work.

our playgroup would take kids only after 2nd birthday so my December-born boys started in January as soon as they were 2 (DS3 & DS4)
the other five were Spring & Summer -born and we had different circumstances each time anyway so they started in the September after their 3rd birthday

DS went to a CM from 9 months and DD has started nursery 2 days a week at 9 months (due to my work). I think you'd need to do at least 2/3 half days per week to enable them to settle and make it worth it. If you have no particular need at 18 months, I'd just go to lots of toddler groups and encourage interaction with others then send to a preschool at 3.

Btw to expand my point, I'm not sure they need it at 18m. My son went to a quiet childminder. When he started a preschool at 2.5, really he got zip all from it for the first year. He was happy there but in reality plenty of children (boys especially) don't play much with peers at that age. He got loads more from it in his second year aged 3.5 and suddenly seemed to have real friends.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of mixed responses here and there isn't really a right answer

I went back to work FT when my son was 12 months. He goes to nursery 3 full days and we have grandparents the other two days

He is also a lockdown baby and had almost no interaction before then with other children.

He absolutely loves it and has blossomed. He's eating food he wouldn't touch at home, has learned to share and wait his turn, formed bonds with some of the other children and is doing an array of activities as a group which I just wouldn't be able to do at home.

I echo PP about settling in and the nursery themselves have said those who come more often find it easier to settle in. But plenty do half days and are fine.

DS is nearly two now and I credit nursery with a lot of his progress and social skills.

But for me, it wasn't an option and I appreciate its not for everyone

DD went at 6 months because I needed to go back to work but I took her out when she was 2 because I reduced my hours. She then went to pre-school when she was 3.

DS will be going at nearly 3. Again a pre-school so term time only.

Half a day a week isn't enough to settle and most nurseries won't allow it, some let you have 2 half sessions.

Both mine went from around 9 months because I work. There's a lot of pressure and judgement on mum's if they send them in and if they don't. Just make the right decision for you and for your family and don't feel bad about it.

Both of mine went from 12/13 months when my maternity leave ended and I went back to work part time. Eldest did 3 days and youngest 2 days. Covid hit when the youngest was 2 so she pretty much then had a year out of nursery as we were at home anyway and she wasn't keen on going and preferred to be with me. She's just started a school nursery in September and getting on great. Personally I wouldn't use a nursery/childcare prior to age 3 if I didn't need to but obviously it's not often a choice.

It's so important so he is ready for school please do send him, I'd look to increase increase hours once he's settled too. Now my daughter has started school I see such a huge difference between those that regularly went to nursery to those that didn't up to and including children having to be dragged away by the teacher from crying mums who have never left them with anyone else before - its so sad to watch and selfishly impacts the more settled children as they have to slow down the learning to coax round the really shy and nervous/upset ones so those that are really advanced and want to learn are left bored - but anyway that's a separate issue. For reference my daughter started nursery aged 1 at 1 day per week and left aged 4 having gone up to 4 days per week as she loved it so much. Good luck OP you'll get loads of people who will say different things. Go with your gut.

Started at 10 months doing 3 full days per week as i went back to work. He's 2.5 now and goes 4 full days. He loves it and gets so much from it. I would send yours but you really need 2 half/full days a week or they will be really unsettled.

DD went from 3 when she got her 15hrs. She was so ready and if it hadn't been for the cost I would've put her in at 2.5.

DS started at 2.5, in January, for three sessions a week. We have a bit more money now and could afford it. He's a Summer born and I wanted him to have the same amount of time there that DD did. Plus I was trying to homeschool DD and those few hours a week were a godsend! He's 3 now and does his 15hrs (3 3hr sessions and 1 6hr session, which he loves).

Forgot to add: at 18m he is not too young. at all.

in Holland mums have 4 months maternity leave (unless it changed since I last was told) and many opts to go back around the 3m mark.
The Dutch are famously laid back but not irresponsible, they know their kids will be safe in the hands of qualified childcare staff so they just don't make a drama out of it.

Just send him OP. There will be tears (mainly yours) but he will be absolutely fine.
I would've sent mine before that if I wanted to or needed to, but I was home so there was no need.

My daughter struggled to settle with one day a week. She was much happier when she went up to 2 sessions. Our nursery had a few children who were similar, so they now only take children more than one day a week. They allow very short sessions to accommodate this - it's absolutely not about them making money.

I'm sure some are fine with one session, but if he struggles to settle, consider increasing sessions rather than quitting.

Mine started at 13 months.

DS1 started at 22m for 2 mornings a week, DS2 started at 15m for 2 mornings a week, both were absolutely fine and enjoyed themselves (we get plenty of photo and video updates on an app).

Mine went 8-5:30 5 days a week from 8 and half months, thankfully she settled really well and was always very happy going.
She's 5 now and is still best friends with a girl from nursery despite being at different schools

All of my three started at 10-11 months old when I went back to work. The eldest did three full days and the younger two did two full days a week (still do).

I don't think 18 months is too young, obviously, most of my friends babies started around age one when the mum went back to work, it's pretty much the norm around here.

Most nurseries won't allow one half day session a week.

Stick with the toddler group if childcare isn't an issue.

DS1 started at 8 months, he's 5.5 now, did 3 days a week.
DS2 started at 8 months, he's currently 16 months so also a 'lockdown' baby, he does 5 days 8:30-5:15.

One session a week in nursery will be hard to settle. I’d think a play school would suit better if you can find one they tend to be a couple of times a week term time only.

Both started at private nursery a couple of months before pre school so they could get used to being away from me. Both hated it 😣