To ask what age your child started nursery?

[prayingforrainbows]

Posting here for traffic

Me and DH have been thinking lately about applying for a nursery place for DS. One morning or afternoon session per week. He's a lockdown baby so hasn't had much interaction with other children. We go to a toddler group 45 minute session each week but that's about the only similar age interaction he has. We don't have friends either kids yet and no other young children in the family.

I'm torn between whether to send him or not.

On one hand I think he would benefit a lot socially from it and do think he'd have fun learning and playing with new people/things. I won't lie, I'd also benefit from it as I could have a morning/afternoon to get all the house chores done and just catch up on bits that I don't otherwise get much chance to do.

On the other hand however, I wonder if he's too young at only 18 months old when there's no great need for him to go and I do want to spend time with him as I know they're only this little once.

AIBU to consider this?

No way of knowing whether YABU or not, everyone's circumstances are different.

DS started nursery at 15 months as I HAD to go back to work. He goes two days. I wouldn't have sent him if I didn't need to go back to work as I absolutely do not believe it is any more beneficial for him to go than staying at home. Baby / toddler groups would have been plenty!

Babies and toddlers that age don't need to socialise. Developmentally they aren't capable so it's pointless to send them purely just for that. If you want to send him however, to have a day or two to yourself, that's different.

As I said, everyone's circumstances are different and even SAHM send kids to nursery / childminders and that's ok. You do what you have to do :)

Both mine started at 11 months as I work, second was born in lock down and she's just started and she's been more relaxed going in than my first ever was 🤣 x

I wouldn't consider it at 18 months if he didn't need to go and just for socialising.
Baby groups, taking them to the park, soft plays etc is plenty interaction with children.
Research says around the 2.5-3 year old mark it is beneficial for them to be in nursery!
Obviously if your child needs to go to nursery for childcare reasons that's different, nursery isn't bad, its no more beneficial to go than not go at that age.
The amount of hours you want a lot of nurseries would say that's not enough hours to settle there.

6 months! 2 days a week. I managed to negotiate a part time teaching role by agreeing that I would go back at the beginning of the academic year. She's 11 now and it doesn't seem to have done her any harm.

13.5 months, 4 long days a week.
One half day session is really not worth bothering with, 2 days minimum to add any value. I wouldn’t start before 2 if you don’t need it, DD has got actual friends now she is 2. Before that it was just childcare but now it’s also for her benefit.

My DC’s nursery wouldn’t let children attend once a week for reasons stated above. They had to attend twice as a minimum so they were settled.

Mine went twice a week so I could work and really enjoyed it. I really loved their nursery.

Just be aware that nurseries can have long waiting lists.

My oldest started at 9 months then came out during the pandemic and started a new nursery at 18 months. Youngest will go at 9 months when I got back to work. Both full time.

Half a day or a day a week isn't enough for them to be settled. Some children will really struggle with that.

My child is nearly 2.5 and we attend toddler groups/classes twice per week, visit parks, soft plays, play centres etc.
Her speech and development is no different from my friends children who go to nursery part time, they don't really play together, they do play along side one another and try and boss each other around etc. She is cared for by grandparents once per week and goes to a rhyme time with them, they do lots of activities and plenty one on one time time.
She's a summer baby so will just be turning 3 when she attends nursery for 15 hours. I think she'll be ready to go then!

DS started at 13 months when I went back to work. I agree that one half day a week will be very disruptive and probably won't be of any benefit to anyone.

My DD1 started nursery at 12mo, five days a week, 9-5pm. DD4mo will start at 9mo, also five days a week from 9-5pm.

11 months DC1 and 10 months DC 2, a lockdown baby. All for childcare reasons primarily but they’ve both benefited greatly from it. As others have said 1 day a week isn’t enough to settle and most settings will be 2 days/sessions minimum. If you’re not working I’d start later as you have the option of other groups/socialising opportunities.

They don't benefit from nursery socially until 2.5/3. However there is nothing wrong with sending your child if it benefits you. You didn't stop being a human when you had a child. So if it means you're less stressed as you have time to sort housework, exercise, have appointments etc then your child will ultimately benefit anyway.
It would have to be 2 half days though. Once a week isn't enough to let them feel comfortable there.

They don't benefit from nursery socially until 2.5/3.

What evidence are you basing this statement on?
My 2yo would definitely beg to differ.

There's no right or wrong here.....for the record DD went from 2 but I know alot went from 6 months to a year as parents had to work. I think it's important from age 3 to attend nursery for a few hours but uniquely it's up to the parents.

Mine started at 2. He done 2 days and we up'd to 3 at after 6 month.
One half day a week doesn't seem enough to me and I think you'll find the settling sessions hard.
Would you consider two half days?

@girlmom21 everything I've ever read on child development. Children under 2.5/3 who go to nursery aren't any more socially comfortable/advanced than children who stay at home with a parent.
It doesn't mean nursery is a bad thing obviously, ds1 went at 12 months, as will ds2. There are plenty of benefits of nursery for the family as a whole but apparently the social benefits for the child don't begin until they're a bit older.

Eldest was 12 months and was absolutely fine.
Our youngest will be going soon when he is just 10months.

Eldest 2 were 9 months. They loved it.

Younger 2 were 3 and getting them in was an absolute battle.

I'd say do it sooner rather than later.

[quote shouldistop]@girlmom21 everything I've ever read on child development. Children under 2.5/3 who go to nursery aren't any more socially comfortable/advanced than children who stay at home with a parent.
It doesn't mean nursery is a bad thing obviously, ds1 went at 12 months, as will ds2. There are plenty of benefits of nursery for the family as a whole but apparently the social benefits for the child don't begin until they're a bit older. [/quote]

Exactly my understanding on this subject too. There needs to be a certain level of independence, curiosity and interest in other children for socialisation to begin. That doesn't happen until 2.5/3.
Of course that doesn't mean children under that age can't enjoy nursery or have a good time. And many children do go to to nursery way before that age and are perfectly fine and happy there.

The point here is that attending nursery at the age of OP's child, purely to socialise, is not necessary.

Here they only do a minimum of two days per week. Look into that first
He is still 18 months though. He wouldn't really play together with friend anyway that usually starts around 2... so sticking with " just playgroup once a week" wouldn't be a problem for now.

Why would he be too young? Its nursery not prison.
My dd goes 4 full days a week and has done since 11months, she settled in quickly.
I find it laughable when people judge parents for having full time jobs.

3 is early enough. Children begin to develop the skills and enjoy play with others, and it’s good prep for reception. Before that, a toddler group and library time weekly are plenty. Other children are in nursery much younger for childcare, but a good mother can do better than a hill are setting with frequent staff changes.

why would he be too young? it's nursery not prison.

🤣
funny because it's true!
and the only reply that was ever needed here