To ask what age your child started nursery?

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Me and DH have been thinking lately about applying for a nursery place for DS. One morning or afternoon session per week. He's a lockdown baby so hasn't had much interaction with other children. We go to a toddler group 45 minute session each week but that's about the only similar age interaction he has. We don't have friends either kids yet and no other young children in the family.

I'm torn between whether to send him or not.

On one hand I think he would benefit a lot socially from it and do think he'd have fun learning and playing with new people/things. I won't lie, I'd also benefit from it as I could have a morning/afternoon to get all the house chores done and just catch up on bits that I don't otherwise get much chance to do.

On the other hand however, I wonder if he's too young at only 18 months old when there's no great need for him to go and I do want to spend time with him as I know they're only this little once.

AIBU to consider this?

You don't say if you work but if you don't then you're already spending plenty of time with him, more than most parents really. Mind you, I'm on my third baby so am quite happy to get a minute to myself if the moment ever arises and don't feel any guilt about it at all!

I wouldn’t do it. Not because of his age, mine started younger than that, but the one half day session is a bad idea. It’ll likely be really difficult for him to settle and learn nursery’s routines when he’s going that infrequently. Every nursery I’ve come across has a minimum number of session because of this- in my experience usually 2 full days or 3 half. If you and him aren’t ready for that then I wouldn’t bother yet and would look for more activities to do instead like swimming classes, Gymboree, stay and play groups, library things etc. I know loads of kids that haven’t started nursery until 3 and they’ve all been fine.

DS1 went at age 1, DS2 went at 9 months. Both 4 days a week. They are both (at ages 9 and 4) very social and good at making friends, and understand that different rules apply / ways of doing things are different in different environments.

Agree with PP that your DC doing only 1 morning a week isn't enough to settle. I would have thought three mornings a week would be the minimum?

I was a nursery nurse and I'd 100% say that not sending him is better than sending him for one half day session a week & no good nurseries will allow that. I'd say you need 2 half days minimum. Also I think the social benefits for under 2s are very minimal, babies just play next each other not with each other ime

We started DS when he was 2.5, 5 mornings a week, term time only. He bloody loves it!

I think it's fair enough to send him if you need the time to yourself, but at that age probably not essential for him and if you want him to socialise more I'd go for something that you can do with him.

I sent my son to playgroup at 2 and a half for 2 mornings a week and I think it benefits him - also he is an only child who is always with family so could do with learning about not being the centre of the world- but when he was younger I don't think it would have benefitted him, although I did try and make sure we saw other children - he was very interested in them.

Both of mine started at 2.5 years but we were extremely fortunate in that I took a year's maternity leave with both, and then we had a lot of family help after that.

I agree with the above, in that one session per week may not be enough to settle him. DS1 started off doing just 1 day a week at nursery due to their availability and he really struggled with that. Therefore when DS2 started he went 3 days a week, half days to start with, albeit they were shorter days as he did preschool.

At 18 months I wouldn't be concerned about nursery for his benefit because they learn so much just from being home with you. If you would benefit from it then that's a good enough reason on its own for him to go. But as above, just doing 1/2 sessions a week may unsettle him

Mine started at nursery when he was 3 and the 15 hours kicked in. He trotted in happily without a backward glance and adored it there.

However we did socialise with other children at toddler groups, music and sports classes every day. In some areas those options are limited due to covid.

DC 1 at four months and DC2 at five months. Both pt.
Done solely for my benefit, we had zero family help, I was bored on mat leave and wanted a break and to get back to work.
Now 18 and 16 and never a single regret.
I'm not kidding myself they benefitted from it at all at that age, but my mental health and pension certainly did.

Dd1 started at 3yo, 2.5 days a week. She really struggled to settle having never been away from family before and it was about 6 months before she completely stopped crying and enjoyed going.

Dd2 was in 2.5 days a week from 10 months as family couldn’t help this time and we’ve never had a problem with her. She never once cried at being left, we switched nurseries after our first one shut and she didn’t bat an eye and now she’s just started school she’s been fine. Obviously they are completely different children but dd2 is a lot more confident and sure of herself than dd1 ever was at her age.

2 because it was lockdown and it was illegal for us to go anywhere and have play dates at home.

It was too early in hindsight. She is 3 now and it’s a great age to start. If it wasn’t for lockdown we’d have been out with friends going to classes, play dates etc and there would have been no need for nursery. If you don’t need to send them don’t rush into sending them because others tell you it’s the right thing to do. Watch your child and make the decision when it’s right for them.

Mine all started at three years old except my youngest dd who went to the nursery I worked at when she was two, because I got a good discount and obviously needed her at nursery because I was working. They all enjoyed it.

With kids who do only a half session per week it can be a real struggle to settle in. I would say even if you can add one more half session so he isn’t away a whole week between sessions that would be a lot better.

I’d say there’s no point in only one half day a week tbh. Although DS only did 1 full day for the first while and had no problems settling. I was thinking more because that morning or afternoon will absolutely fly by and there’s no way I could get everything done in that time!

DS1 started at 2y3m, 2 days a week.
DS2 started at 16 months, 1 day, and soon went up to 2 days at probably 21 months ish, as I was doing a college course one day a week.

2.5 for dd 1, 1yr 10 months Dd2 just 2x2 hr sessions at first. Both sn

Both DC started at nursery school at 3.5, both settled quickly and loved it, were very ready for school one year later.

Personally I don't think children 'need' nursery until around age 3. Of course many parents have to use nurseries in order to work, and mostly the children are absolutely fine, but if you don't need to use a nursery then I wouldn't bother.

My DS started in September at 13 months. He was unsettled for the first few weeks but now he’s fine and seems to be enjoying it.
DS was also a lockdown baby so we didn’t really get chance to go to any baby groups etc as most weren’t open and the ones that were had huge waiting lists. It’s great to get them socialised with other children and is also gives them the opportunity to do different activities that just being at home. Definitely go for it but I’d suggest doing more than one session a week as I’ve heard it can be quite difficult to settle children who aren’t there a lot :)

1 year old for 3 full days. We both work full time. She loves it but the down side is she is always catching the cold, then I do 🤷‍♀️

YANBU but I think he’d better going at least 2 days a week so it’s easier for him to settle in and get to know people. Mine started going 3 days a week when he was 10m, he’s 3 now and still loves it and has learnt so much!

Even if you don’t «need»nursery for childcare, it is great for certain things. Turn-taking and sharing, group activities, trying different food, and also messy/noisy play with other kids which they may not get at home. But as everyone else has said, 1/2 day will not be enough to settle them. I would opt for at least 2 half day sessions if you can. Mine went 4 days a week at 9 months but that was for work reasons. She loved it.

Both of mine were three and started the nursery attached to the school. My eldest was shy and didn't settle well. My youngest has always been more outgoing and was much more confident, settled immediately. They both had the same interactions before starting, how well they settled in our case was purely down to the individual child.

Agree with the poster who said you'll be judged either way, do what works best for your own family.

DS1 went to a childminder full time at 9 months as I was working full time.
DS2 didn't go to nursery at all - just playgroups with me - and didn't start school until Reception at 4.
DS3 went to school nursery at 3. He started half days - I gave him the choice of that or full time. He chose to continue half days and was the only child in the class to do so.
With DS2 and DS3 I was a SAHM. There is only 12 months between them and they started school/nursery at the same time.
My childminder was amazing and became a close personal friend but I would not use childcare at this age by choice if I didn't have to.
My younger 2 did have each other to play with and I don't think they missed out at all.
Academically they are fairly similar, DC3 is by far the most confident socially but I think that's just his personality.
I don't think your 18 month old actually needs to go to nursery unless you want or need him to.

Mine did two mornings from 2 1/2 - the nursery wouldn't do less than that, as they said children didn't settle and make friends properly. We upped it to three mornings about six months before he started school. Prior to that, he just did the occasional toddler group or toddler soft play session, once a week at most, and was at home with me the rest of the time.

My DD started in June at 18 months. I'm a SAHM so she only does 2 mornings a week (going up to 3 in January)
I didn't plan on sending her to nursery until after she turned 2, but lockdown hit when she was 3 months old so she didn't get to do baby/toddler groups and days out, etc so we chose nursery for the social aspect of it. And she really loves it. Her confidence has really come on and her little personality has developed loads

I also spend 1 of those mornings doing housework and the other I quite often go for breakfast with a friend or DH, or just chill out at home

I’m in exactly the same boat as you with my 19mo DS no idea what to do for the best.

I did try him in a settle in session at a local private nursery and he came home with a stomach bug he then took the entire house down with, including his then 4 month old sister. I’m terrified of vomiting so it really hit me and I pulled him out. Now terrified to start again as every week at playgroup mums are just going on and on about how sick they always are because of nursery.

I just can’t deal with the bugs atm as we were poorly for about 8 weeks straight prior to stomach bug!

My little one started at 11 months. I wasn’t working but was really struggling with being a mum 24/7 as she was very very clingy and I couldn’t get a spare minute to do anything. The house was falling into chaos.

She went in two full days and it was amazing for both me and her. She really enjoyed it and i had time to do the things I needed.