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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Table hoggers

87 replies

wanttomarryamillionaire · 14/09/2021 14:45

Im not sure if im being unreasonable or not but this really irritated me this morning. Myself and an elderly relative went to a very popular local cafe. It has less tables and chairs inside than it used to because of covid regulations and it also has tables and chairs outside but these were unusable this morning due to the pouring rain. The cafe was very busy and we waited for around 20 minutes for a table. During the time we waited there were at least 3 tables of people who had finished eating and drinking and were just sat there chatting. These people could see that there were lots of others waiting for tables but just continued to sit there chatting the whole time we were waiting and while we ate and were still sitting there when we left! AIBU to say this is really really rude and selfish? They can see others were waiting and they kept tables from being used, i also think the cafe manager should have said something to them.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 14/09/2021 14:47

That would irritate me as well. Some people are very self centred.

Wingedharpy · 14/09/2021 14:48

'Tis life OP.
Some folk are considerate of others and some aren't.
Always was - always will be.

YouTubeAddict · 14/09/2021 14:54

I would have been fuming too, some people just don’t give a shit. I would also have gone to another establishment as well.

KeepScrapingBy · 14/09/2021 14:54

Very inconsiderate. But also the staff should move them on. It's their job to get new customers seated and the tables making a profit.

AhNowTed · 14/09/2021 14:55

If there were seats around the occupied tables I'd have just sat down.

Redgeraniums · 14/09/2021 15:00

I think that’s the problem in cafes where you pay at the till instead of being brought the bill.
Some people are selfish fuckers though, and if I wanted to sit and continue chatting I would get another tea/coffee so at least I wasn’t just draining money away from the cafe owner.
Dunno what people do about it though, I guess if I was an owner I might go up to people, but then they might not come again.

Annoyedanddissapointed · 14/09/2021 15:02

I am surprised staff didn't move them. Well they probably tried politely. Some people are just ignorant

Topseyt · 14/09/2021 15:07

Yes, that would irritate me. I might even say something about it to the café owner.

When you have finished your food and drink in a café you should pay and go. Especially if it is at a busy time. If it is at a quiet time then you can linger a bit longer, but not taking the piss.

SirenSays · 14/09/2021 15:12

This wouldn't bother me, but I also wouldn't wait so long for a table, I'd have gone elsewhere.

PineappleWilson · 14/09/2021 15:17

What was so good about this cafe that you waited 20 minutes for a table? I'd have left and gone elsewhere tbh.

Notjustanymum · 14/09/2021 15:21

People think by purchasing a drink, they have the right to occupy the space, unfortunately. I think it’s very rude of them, but to move them on might cause loss of customers that are annoyed they have been moved on, so the cafe owners are also in a difficult situation.
My bugbear is when one person takes over an ensemble of a large table plus a sofa and two armchairs, for example, instead of sitting at a smaller table. I have been known to join them in case there are no other free tables or chairs and sweetly point out that they paid for their coffee, not the furniture...

Franklyfrost · 14/09/2021 15:22

You’re allowed to take 20 min to drink a coffee and not jump up as soon as it’s done. It was your choice to wait. People go to cafes to sit and chat and people watch, that’s part of the sell. Hence the mark up where one coffee is the cost of 50 at home.

lockdownalli · 14/09/2021 15:22

I don't understand why you waited for 20 minutes?

If I go to a cafe and there are no tables, I just go somewhere else Confused

If it was somewhere that's the arse end of nowhere with only one cafe for miles, then that's the risk you take, that it will be busy and you will have to wait for ages. Given that it was pouring with rain, people were probably waiting for it to stop?

purpleboy · 14/09/2021 15:24

Why would you wait 20 minutes for a table? Also why should you dictate how long people can sit down for? You have no idea why those people were meeting, maybe they hadn't seen each other for a long time and didn't want to rush or many other reason. I think it's a bit precious to expect people to leave because you want their table.

HarrietsChariot · 14/09/2021 15:26

You popped into a "very popular local cafe" and were suprised that because "it has less tables and chairs inside than it used to because of covid regulations" then you couldn't immediately get a seat?

Tbh if you're willing to wait 20 minutes for a seat it's no surprise the management weren't turfing other customers out. Only if they see potential customers walking it, realising there's nowhere to sit and walking straight outside would they think about doing it.

Take your business elsewhere.

pasturesgreen · 14/09/2021 15:31

YANBU, it's selfish to hog a table when you can see others are waiting. That said, I wouldn't have waited around for 20 minutes, I'd have gone elsewhere when I saw it was busy.

scoopgalore · 14/09/2021 15:32

Yabu to wait 20 mins and then complain about having to wait 20 minutes!

OneTC · 14/09/2021 15:34

YABU

these people have paid/are paying for the space to use for it's intended purpose. They owe you nothing

Geamhradh · 14/09/2021 15:34

Don't come to Italy!
You'd be apoplectic in less than twenty minutes!

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2021 15:39

Hmmm I’m not sure, I think it’s ok to go for lunch and sit for an extra half hour or so finishing your chats. If the cafe had an issue rhey could move them on.

However I’d not do what you did and sit and wait for them to finish, thinking they were rude, I’d have went elsewhere or booked a table before I went,

Sugarandtime · 14/09/2021 15:43

It isn’t rude or selfish. If you could see that there were no tables, why did you not go elsewhere?

campion · 14/09/2021 15:49

@AhNowTed

If there were seats around the occupied tables I'd have just sat down.
This is quite effective in getting people to finish
londonmummy1966 · 14/09/2021 15:54

At lunchtime I think that is not unreasonable - people often arrange to meet friends during their lunchbreak and eat and chat until its time to go back to work.

What annoys me is the people who go to a cafe mid morning with their lap top, buy a coffee and then spend the next 3 hours working away at a table with an 9/10ths empty mug of coffee beside them. There's one really nice cafe near us but you can never get a table as its full of people doing this. Must drive the staff mad.

LeafOfTruth · 14/09/2021 15:59

I am not sure 'sitting at a table a bit longer than others would' qualifies as a moral issue, tbh.

TinselTime21 · 14/09/2021 16:11

Yes it's annoying but loads do it.
One of our cafes is very popular for the 'big standard cheap n cheerful' and do the best homemade cakes.
People sit in there prob 3 or 4 hours. Day in day out. It's often a struggle to get a seat.