Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Accused of benefit fraud

110 replies

cakeinspiration · 01/09/2021 11:30

I think my daughters dad and his girlfriend have reported me for benefit fraud. Is there any way I can find out if it was them or not?
I had my girl when I was 18 and split up with his dad when she was 6 months old. He got together with his girlfriend just before our daughter turned one. My girly is now 4.
I think his girlfriend is jealous of me because she loves kids but can't have any yet for whatever reason. She's told me she can't wait to be a mum and always tells me how lucky I am as my daughter is so polite and she loves her loads. I guess I'm happy that my daughter has someone who loves her a lot but sometimes feel like she's a bit much.
AnywY I met my partner a year ago and he stays at mine sometimes, maybe 2 or 3 nights a week. His 2 daughters (7 and 10) come and stay at mine too. I only have 2 bedrooms so the kids share my daughter's room or the living room.
I got a call the other week from the council asking if I share my home with anyone and I said no. My partner rents his own flat so pays council tax there and my council tax is just for me and my daughter, I have universal credit to go towards rent which is for my flat that I got when I moved out of my parent's house just before I had my daughter.
My partner and I don't want to move in yet as it would be hard for us to afford a place big enough for the kids, and we would lose out on universal credit and I don't think we can afford it.
The council lady said they might come and do a home check in the next couple of weeks and I'm really worried about it, what can they do? Will I get kicked out of my flat?

OP posts:

blacklilypad · 01/09/2021 11:35

You will be fine you are allowed people to stay in your home. As long as he has proof of his other address (bills, rent or council tax, etc.) then they will happy as he is not living with you.

I don't think you can find out who reported you as it is meant to be anonymous

PheasantsNest · 01/09/2021 11:35

Were you honest with them? Staying regularly two or three nights a week sounds quite often.

entropynow · 01/09/2021 11:38

@PheasantsNest

Were you honest with them? Staying regularly two or three nights a week sounds quite often.

OFGS. He's not living there. Give over with the "were you honest?"

entropynow · 01/09/2021 11:40

OP there is no reason for this query to affect your tenancy. The issue is other benefits. If you and DP can offer evidence that he's not living with you, collect it so you/he can show it if asked.

DaraTheTeapot · 01/09/2021 11:40

I really feel for you . You have separate households and can prove that.

If the relationship moves forward and he decides to move in then you’d obviously inform them then. You’re allowed people to stay over and shouldn’t feel judged.

entropynow · 01/09/2021 11:42

The home check will look for signs of dual occupation, so as long as there aren't drawerfuls of his/his kids' clothes and his trainers sitting by the back door, how will they prove anything?

Karlee30 · 01/09/2021 11:46

You are not going to lose your house. Years ago people used to say a partner can stay 3 nights a week but I don't think that's even relevant anymore. It's simply if someone is deemed living with you ie they pay bills, bath and shower at yours and do laundry, keep clothing and other belongings there etc. So amount of days doesn't come into it. Because your partner has his own place I don't think you have anything major to worry about. Is there any evidence of your partner at your flat? Clothes, belongings etc? They may hold that against you if they spot it. Does he park outside? Does he leave the house in the nornings?

But if it was me I would deny it rather than admit he stays sometimes and keep it low key for a while? Maybe stay at his? Tell them he has his own place.

My partner told me someone reported his ex girlfriend (who has kids) for benefit fraud (many many years ago) when they were together and sometimes he stayed there. He had his own place and she denied. Nothing ever come of it. But he did stop staying there... he would go over and leave at 3am. He just as well have slept there but was concerned someone was watching him leave in the morning.

My own mother in law too. She did do the dirty with it though. She had her bloke fully moved in but still claimed benefits as a single parent as her partner was a 'lodger' at someone else's house. She was reported too but somehow she got away with it... god knows how!

I think you just need to be more careful about it tbh!

Original poster

cakeinspiration · 01/09/2021 11:46

@entropynow that does worry me because he does keep stuff here for himself and the girls because it's less hassle than them all bringing things over every week - the girls all love their sleepovers and they like having home stuff here, is that going to be a problem?

OP posts:

Georgyporky · 01/09/2021 11:52

I strongly advise you to remove all his & kids' belongings ASAP.

aquashiv · 01/09/2021 11:54

Why does she have to move his stuff out? If staying a few nights a week is OK.

GreekMIL · 01/09/2021 11:59

I would remove all of their stuff just so they don't have any ammunition. It's shit that people on benefits are monitored like naughty children sneaking mates in for sleepovers, but it's to catch the ones cheating the system. I'm in the same position op and would advise you to protect yourself just in case you get a jobsworth doing the checks.

MadinMarch · 01/09/2021 12:12

My advice would be to remove the toothbrushes belonging to your partner and his children. It's a strong indication that they're more than just guests.
I wouldn't deny that they never stay over though as it's not unknown for investigators to have photographic evidence. Just stick to the truth.

Imatramp1 · 01/09/2021 12:15

You will be fine. He has his own address which he has his own bills going to . Its mad that some people think your not allowed a boyfriend/partner. If your on benefits. Imagine it your conditions of receiving UC are.

no boyfriend 2)no sleep overs
no sex allowed.
no staying for dinner

Belladonna12 · 01/09/2021 12:22

I would just say that while he stays occasionally, he has his own place. I think it would be more of a problem if he was staying with his parents or somewhere where he wasn't paying rent or council tax. As he is paying rent and council tax elsewhere I very much doubt it will be a problem.

Belladonna12 · 01/09/2021 12:24

@Imatramp1

Exactly. They aren't going to go rifling through drawers or looking for toothbrushes to see if he ever stays there because OP is allowed to have sex and people staying overnight.

MotherofTerriers · 01/09/2021 12:38

I would collect evidence that he has a home elsewhere and pays council tax and bills there
I'd be honest and say that he stays with you a couple of nights a week, nothing wrong with that
TBH I'd move his and his children's stuff out, not because you have to but just to give them less reason to investigate further
I'd also point out, if they visit, that the complaint is probably from your ex and malicious. They can't confirm that but you can make the point

Carboncheque · 01/09/2021 12:41

You’ve done nothing wrong. He has his own home that he pays council tax and other bills for. His DDs have a room in that home. You have a separate home and bills in your name. You have two separate households. You’re allowed visitors, even regular ones.

You might ask your DP to take some of the stuff back to his place if there’s enough stuff that someone could assume from a quick glance that he or his DDs live with you. You don’t have to but it might mean that this goes away faster, without the need for more investigation.

PyjamasAndWellies · 01/09/2021 12:41

I know someone who had this happen to them, her dp stayed over sometimes (as you would expect) and someone reported him as living there (he wasnt)

They were told that he wasnt allowed to stay over even occasionally. The idea that they can stay 3 nights a week is a myth apparently, they arent allowed to stay over at all. It's obviously ridiculous, people have a right to a relationship for gods sake. She was just given a warning, they said please dont do it again and that was the end of the matter. I really doubt you would get in any trouble

vivainsomnia · 01/09/2021 12:42

The main think they will look at is your finances. Does he pay you regular money, towards food and utility. That woul be suspicious. Ultimately, if he has his own place, pay for rent and bills, they will not be that interested.

Rosscameasdoody · 01/09/2021 12:43

OP, they’re not going to search your house, so just put visible things out of sight and tell the truth, which is that no, you don’t share your home with anyone else. Your partner and his kids stay overnight for a couple of nights but they don’t live with you. I think they do a home check more to make sure that it’s actually you who is living there, and not subletting. The issue with benefits is whether you’re getting any income other than what you are declaring. If he has his own place and pays his own bills, then he’s not living with you, so won’t be contributing any household expenses to you. Try not to worry.

NigellasCookalong · 01/09/2021 12:44

@PheasantsNest

Were you honest with them? Staying regularly two or three nights a week sounds quite often.

DoubleTweenQueen · 01/09/2021 12:48

@cakeinspiration Can’t really add anything to the useful advice already given, just to say I also don’t think you’ve done anything wrong and you should prepare for the home visit with everything in order and a clear conscience.

It may well have been a nosey neighbour that reported you? I would be more concerned that your suspicion sours your decent relationship with your DDs dad and GF which has been good so far?

DoubleTweenQueen · 01/09/2021 12:49

@PyjamasAndWellies I think that’s incredibly unfair! :(

furbabymama87 · 01/09/2021 12:51

I've been through this myself. It was horrible but if you've done nothing wrong you don't need to worry. They went through my bank statements and I saw a car several nights in a row watching my house. I had a boyfriend I'd been with 2 months and wasn't at the stage of living together. They told me there were no set rules on how many nights someone can stay over as you may have a partner who works away on in the forces for example who uses it as their base address even though they may not be there most of the time.
They advised me to not have more than one overnight stay a week and that even if they're visiting every day but not staying, it's classed as they're living there, which I felt was bullshit and felt like I wasn't allowed a boyfriend as I was on benefits.

shouldistop · 01/09/2021 12:53

Remove all of their belongings from your house. Be careful what you put on social media.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5