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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to share this bitchy anonymous note?

83 replies

pollyglot · 04/08/2021 04:05

As a teacher of 45 years' experience, I thought I was all over bullying, until I read this in the paper:

www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/age-is-no-barrier-elderly-resident-targeted-by-retirement-village-bullies/6R7KEMWWPRPPY2V4LP56JCVFXQ/

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 04/08/2021 04:07

That letter is an absolute disgrace

CuntyMcBollocks · 04/08/2021 04:16

That is disgusting. I really can't fathom why anyone would be so vindictive and cruel. They must have extremely sad lives if they enjoy trying to cause hurt to other people.

jay55 · 04/08/2021 04:16

The note would make me want to buy my relative the tackiest gnomes and garden ornaments I could find.

TheRealHousewife · 04/08/2021 04:52

Poor woman, that’s abhorrent. Ganging up on her like that! She has my upmost sympathy. I can identify. We live in a small hamlet. All our neighbours are older, sixties & seventies. They are more than capable of writing a similar letter. Their air of entitlement and vindictiveness is soul destroying. Worst neighbours we’ve ever had! One vindictive act they did was lop of the top of a sapling cherry tree. They had to come onto our property to do it (when we were away) as it’s at least 10 ft from the boundary. It’s never recovered. To outsiders they act all grace and favour but they are utterly dreadful.

OoglyMoogly · 04/08/2021 05:06

That letter would have me dragging a skanky old sofa into the garden and leaving it there. Possibly with an old mattress too.

81Byerley · 04/08/2021 05:17

That is vile behaviour. That poor woman!

plodalong12 · 04/08/2021 05:18

I must be in the minority as I don’t think the note is that bad. Without seeing a picture the garden may look absolutely awful. And I’m only saying this because Australia to me seems like a weird place to live, like in some American states where it’s in your contract to keep your front yard neat and tidy and to a certain regulation or you get fined for it looking messy. Chicken wire sounds untidy.

plodalong12 · 04/08/2021 05:19

Oh sorry, New Zealand, not Australia.

Original poster
pollyglot · 04/08/2021 05:27

plodalong - don't you think that at the very least the sneering tone of the "champagne lifestyle" is somewhat reprehensible?

OP posts:
LovelaceBiggWither · 04/08/2021 05:28

Wut? Have you ever been to Australia or NZ? What on earth are you blathering about with the reference to the US?

And seriously? Do you really think that the whole of Britain keeps their yards pristine?

BlithePilgrim · 04/08/2021 05:30

@plodalong12

I must be in the minority as I don’t think the note is that bad. Without seeing a picture the garden may look absolutely awful. And I’m only saying this because Australia to me seems like a weird place to live, like in some American states where it’s in your contract to keep your front yard neat and tidy and to a certain regulation or you get fined for it looking messy. Chicken wire sounds untidy.
This community is in New Zealand, and even if the garden is a jungle full of decaying sofas, it does not merit bitching about how the resident is living a champagne lifestyle on a beer income and irrelevant cracks about social ineptness meaning she’s probably not suited to living in this village.

Plus ‘Daisy Mae and cronies’ could simply talk to the woman.

LoislovesStewie · 04/08/2021 05:41

I would sit outside on the apparently 'appalling' furniture with a bottle of champagne and get roaring drunk. What absolute twats to write that letter. They don't have the courage to speak direct but can send anonymous letters;says it all really. If anyone starts a fund for the recipient of the note, I'll put some money in, then she can buy more champagne on me!

RiverGod · 04/08/2021 05:44

I’m hoping the recipient of this note is actually richer than all of Daisy May and the cronies put together and just realises the value of money. Better to be frugal than classless.

Oceanbliss · 04/08/2021 05:49

Awful bullies. It’s sad to get to that age and to have never grown up.

plodalong12 · 04/08/2021 05:57

It must be somewhat bad for them to write such a note. I don’t know, it doesn’t seem that bad to me, it’s just my opinion. It’s certainly not a nice note but maybe it had to be said. Plus, there was an offer (and a dig) to do her garden on her behalf, so it must look messy.

RiverGod · 04/08/2021 06:09

If the garden looks messy then fine but it doesn’t justify that note. Maybe the recipient is unwell and unable to do it or is grieving a loss. Unless they know the full story then writing that note is uncalled for when they could have said ‘Hi, we noticed you were struggling with the up keep of the garden and we’re worried you might get hurt tripping over the chicken wire. If you’d like any help clearing things a little let us know and we’ll bring tea, biscuits and action!’

BlithePilgrim · 04/08/2021 06:15

@plodalong12

It must be somewhat bad for them to write such a note. I don’t know, it doesn’t seem that bad to me, it’s just my opinion. It’s certainly not a nice note but maybe it had to be said. Plus, there was an offer (and a dig) to do her garden on her behalf, so it must look messy.
You’re missing the point repeatedly. The state of the garden does not merit a frankly bitchy semi-anonymous note bitching about this woman’s income and ‘social ineptness’.
robotcollision · 04/08/2021 06:16

You don't think it's bad @plodalong12 to anonymously call your neighbour socially inept and suggest they don't fit in? To suggest they probably don't have enough money to belong but are trying to pretend they do (champagne lifestyle on beer income)?

Why not?

EverybodyIsInteresting · 04/08/2021 06:24

They have a bloody cheek to call her socially inept when that's the kind of crap they pull.

It doesnt even should like the garden is bad, it's just that she is growing food rather than pretty flowers, according to one person.

Awful.

pippistrelle · 04/08/2021 06:27

The letter is not nice but may just be written by one person who is claiming to have cronies. It seems rather unfair on the other residents to jump to the conclusion that they're ganging up on the owner of the non-conforming garden.

millytilly34 · 04/08/2021 06:38

They called her 'socially inept' but then they write a note like that. If they really wanted to sort the garden they could have just offered to do it over for her or pretended they had spare plants 5hey needed rid of. Nasty.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 04/08/2021 06:40

Plodalong, are you reading the same note? Its totally bitchy, saying the recipient is poor, socially inept, and does not really fit in. In what way is that ok? And you also don't seem to know the difference between Australia, NZ and America, and say Australia is 'weird place to live' Ooookayyyy then.

Mandalay246 · 04/08/2021 06:43

I would be inclined to get all my friends around, sit in my front garden drinking beer and chuck the cans onto the ground if I received a letter like that. It certainly wouldn't have me doing anything about my garden, and the writer/s are absolute dicks.

Original poster
pollyglot · 04/08/2021 06:44

pippistrelle - so if it's one nasty person in a communal living situation, it's ok? The fact remains, the note is breathtaking in its sheer nastiness and snobbery - no matter whether it's a gang or not. "Cronies" has a highly pejorative overtone, do you not think? if it were my mother in that situation, I agree with earlier posters-a scruffy sofa and a few gnomes would be just the ticket. "Mismatched pots'", forsooth!

OP posts:
Lifeisaminestrone · 04/08/2021 06:47

What a revolting letter - no one in their right mind would write such a thing.

My initial though was perhaps it could be early stages of dementia?