...to share this bitchy anonymous note?

[pollyglot]

As a teacher of 45 years' experience, I thought I was all over bullying, until I read this in the paper:

www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/age-is-no-barrier-elderly-resident-targeted-by-retirement-village-bullies/6R7KEMWWPRPPY2V4LP56JCVFXQ/

Horrible

@pollyglot

pippistrelle - so if it's one nasty person in a communal living situation, it's ok? The fact remains, the note is breathtaking in its sheer nastiness and snobbery - no matter whether it's a gang or not. "Cronies" has a highly pejorative overtone, do you not think? if it were my mother in that situation, I agree with earlier posters-a scruffy sofa and a few gnomes would be just the ticket. "Mismatched pots'", forsooth!

Ooohh, yes, get some gnomes! Get some of those rude ones! BTW, the note shows that money and a champagne lifestyle (whatever!) does not bestow good manners on the writer.

That's a horrible sneary way to behave. I hope the victim has enough strength to stand up to them or can afford to move if they feel the need to.
I did notice in the comments on the article that somebody had called out this bullying letter by saying it was from a 'Karen' .

I have a friend who moved to a naice area. He had an old deaf dog. He got a note through saying that it was a 'cat area' and would he consider rehoming the dog.

A few weeks later he got another note saying to tidy up. He was gutting the place and stuff was out the front under a tarp pro tem.

When the third note arrived he went to an auction and bought a knackered old digger for a pound at the end and put it on his drive. Rivulets of rusty water ran down the road from that for years pissing the neighbours off.

Fuckers.

I didn"t remotely imply it was okay.

I agree that 'cronies' has a pejorative overtone. Strange to use it about one"s own friends/supporters.

That note is horrific. If someone had sent my grandma or my parents that, I'd be livid. I'd also be planting a load of banked flowers to read "fuck off' when they bloomed!

The only part of that note that had a point was the bit saying the walkway used by many was a mess/had a lot of stuff on it as I can see why that might be an obstruction. A POLITE request to remove some things or offer to help move and tidy things because of obstruction would have been understandable.

There's no need for the superior tone, the judging and especially the sneery, snobby, classless paragraphs at the bottom. Even if you think something isn't attractive, you don't say it. Especially not like this.

@plodalong12 do you not think a residents association issuing a fine of failure to maintain or letters warning of a fine for such would be politer, less personal and not be so superior and judgemental? Certainly no RA I'd want to be bound by. Again, if my grandma - who lived in a little development, or my parents- who live in a village with a RA, got a note like this, there would be trouble!

@plodalong12 *"Perhaps not," 'Daisy May' sneered, "as it must be hard to live amongst affluence and a champagne lifestyle when on a beer income".

The personal attacks continue as the letter lashes the resident for being "socially inept"*

You really don’t think this is that bad?! Are you Daisy May? Or one of the cronies? 🤔

Retirement villages, complexes etc are a nightmare for this sort of thing. They are full of people with nothing to think about apart from their neighbours’ parking habits, dogs, gardens, grandchildren etc. The resentments fester and things can get really nasty.
They tend to be all packed in together with lots of communal space, which really doesn’t help either.

Not that there is any excuse but I wonder if the previous resident died and the person who wrote the letter is grieving. Seeing her friends garden being ripped out to be replaced by a vegetable patch may have upset her. Some people just want things to remain the same and can’t handle change that is outside their control. Not an excuse to take it out on the new resident or deny them the freedom to create the garden that they want on what I presume is their own property.

Copy and paste of sections of article:

The letter, signed by "Daisy May and cronies", goes on to namecheck the unit's previous resident, saying that "many of us have photos of her gorgeous seasonal displays".
"Sadly, most of the shrubs and many plants that were testament to her gardening skills and love of nature have gone. Ruthlessly pulled out and disposed of. The whole garden now simply devoid colour, shape and form. It is sad to see."
The original poster revealed that she had recently seen the garden and it wasn't messy but was a fruit and vege patch being prepared for spring.
"Not everyone likes the white rose and box hedge look. It's purposely attacking the thing she is most proud of."

A few years ago, my neighbour sent a note to her neighbours on the other side of her. She asked if they could dress their windows more appropriately, as the windows looked scruffy and were letting the tone of the area down. The next weekend the neighbours, who were young people, had a party ! It spilled out of the house, down the street and beyond. I was actually invited to the party as they thought I was 'OK and good fun!
The person who sent this note should be careful, old people can party too!

Anonymous letters are only sent by nutters, and should be ignored.

I think I would have planted bulbs spelling out "fuck you"

My Grandmother is in her mid 90s and is a massive bully in her senior community. She has always been horrid.

The person using the term Karen as a reply to the note is pissing me off too.

That poor lady.

I never understand why people believe you reach a certain age and become sainted. Bullies and bastards get elderly like everyone else.

Our worst neighbours have all been in their seventies/eighties. Rude, entitled and selfish - as I imagine they were in their twenties/thirties.

Will never forget the nasty twat that lived next door to the first house we bought, she would just have an opinion on EVERYTHING. Our old cat had had an operation on her back legs over winter, we was pottering around in the garden in March, finally getting back on her feet and likely to sunbathe on OUR wall, nasty neighbour poured cold water over her. She also let her grandchildren play on our front garden and complained the glare from our Christmas tree ruined the Strictly final.

My sister has a ‘mooning garden gnome’ - I’d buy a whole chorus of these and go that route.

Just goes to show that being a cunt has no expiry date. this person and their chums were probably vile as schoolgirls, young women, young mothers etc etc. They get addicted to the rush of feeling powerful and making someone else feel inferior, and they never stop and never give up. Just horrible. Also kills the myth of all old people being sweet, kind and wise doesnt it....some of them are real shockers - just as they were when they were young.

@LovelaceBiggWither

Wut? Have you ever been to Australia or NZ? What on earth are you blathering about with the reference to the US?

And seriously? Do you really think that the whole of Britain keeps their yards pristine?

I don't have a 'yard' but my garden's lovely.

@Lobelia123

Just goes to show that being a cunt has no expiry date. this person and their chums were probably vile as schoolgirls, young women, young mothers etc etc. They get addicted to the rush of feeling powerful and making someone else feel inferior, and they never stop and never give up. Just horrible. Also kills the myth of all old people being sweet, kind and wise doesnt it....some of them are real shockers - just as they were when they were young.

yup. I used to do rehab with older people in the NHS. There were nasty bullying entitled people and with the exception of people who had personality changes due to strokes or alzheimers the nasty ones seemed to have been nasty all their lives with estranged families and neighbours who disliked them.

The anonymous note was the wrong way to go about it. But if the garden is messy it needs to be tidied up. One messy garden brings down the whole road.

The anonymous note was the wrong way to go about it. But if the garden is messy it needs to be tidied up. One messy garden brings down the whole road.

Oh dear, we can't have that can we - especially in a naice area! In actual fact people are entitled to do whatever they want in their own garden - and to hell with the whole road. If I received such a note I would be inclined to go for a late night walk with a container of Roundup.

"Perhaps not," 'Daisy May' sneered, "as it must be hard to live amongst affluence and a champagne lifestyle when on a beer income".

Sounds like tabloid fodder and not based on truth. No one writes like this.

@jay55

The note would make me want to buy my relative the tackiest gnomes and garden ornaments I could find.

Me, too! I'd be happy to send her pink plastic flamingos in several poses...although I read in another internet forum that flamingos are, apparently, a signal that someone is a swinger...

@Cadent

"Perhaps not," 'Daisy May' sneered, "as it must be hard to live amongst affluence and a champagne lifestyle when on a beer income".

Sounds like tabloid fodder and not based on truth. No one writes like this.

Well, there was a photo of the typewritten letter with the article, which included exactly those phrases. Are you saying the tabloid forged it to make a story?

People don't get nice when they get old they just get to be a more intense version of themselves.
I work with old folk and could well believe some of the ones I've met writing something similar.