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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social Media trolls

85 replies

User57327259 · 18/07/2021 10:39

I have hesitated to post about this because as a result of my experiences I do not need any more nastiness.
I have a troll or trolls on Social Media. It has been going on for years. There are signs that the troll(s) might know an awful lot about me so I think they might be people I know rather than random people. At times I get more worried about this other times I think they are just cowards.
I have reported this to the various social media companies but no change. I have told Police but they say is it not bad enough for them to deal with. I was also told that as most of the social media companies are not UK so they are beyond local police.
I read about how the abuse of England football players is going to be investigated and those responsible will be named to police in the UK.
I am disappointed that I can not have the troll(s) contacting me investigated similarly.
AIBU?

OP posts:
thisplaceisweird · 18/07/2021 10:40

It's more than likely that it's someone you know(and probably quite well)

Silly question but why haven't you just block them? On Instagram for example you can select 'block this account and any new accounts they create'

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 10:41

What sort of thing are they doing?

If you have evidence its the same person and its on going, even if it 'low level' trolling, it's still harassment and the police should be able to do something.

Trillogy101 · 18/07/2021 10:42

Just block and move on, they are too unimportant to expend your energy on.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 18/07/2021 10:43

I suppose it depends what they are trolling about. The police won't investigate something that isn't hate speech ime.

Is coming off social media an option?

Mountaingoatling · 18/07/2021 10:45

If you don't know who they are, then how can the police investigate?

They'd need device and IP info from the social media companies, who won't provide this. The police can't compel them to.

It would then be time consuming to pursue.

I'm really sorry this is happening but I think the police can't do much.

Do you really have no idea who it is?

cookiesandcreamm · 18/07/2021 10:47

Why haven't you just blocked them?

ElementalIllusions · 18/07/2021 10:49

The trolls abusing football players are sending racist attacks and death threats, so they absolutely should be investigated by the police.

Is the troll who is contacting you sending death threats and racist or threatening abuse to you?
If they are then the police should 100% investigate.

If you are not a ‘public figure’ or someone with some kind of SM following it’s almost guaranteed it is someone you know who is trolling you.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 18/07/2021 10:50

If it is categorised as a hate crime then the police have the power to act.

If it's someone saying your hair looks shit and I think you're a twat well then really there's not much to do but block them.

If you are convinced it's someone you know I suppose you could always tell a few people about the troll and give the impression that the police are involved and are tracking them down and will act when they find them. See if that puts the wind up anyone.

JayniSummers · 18/07/2021 10:56

I'm reluctant to suggest that you come off social media , as women are often told this in these circumstances, and it feels like when we do this , the trolls win . However I came off facey and twitter three months ago and my MH has never been as good . But then I did this for me, not because I felt they'd " won " . Ultimately it depends on how you use social media. I appreciate if you run a business or need it to connect to people that may not be a option

NerrSnerr · 18/07/2021 11:03

What are they doing to troll you? Are you blocking each account as they pop up?

Original poster
User57327259 · 18/07/2021 11:06

To answer some questions, I am not famous or at all well known. There is a slight racial connection in that one of the persons I suspect has made racist remarks to me and about me. I have not blocked anyone because I am trying to find out who is or are behind this. If I come off social media I will lose contact with real friends who live at a distance. What is happening is said to be coercive abuse, gaslighting and catfishing. That was from a professional. I thought it was some person trying to get information. I want to find out who is doing this as I am internally blaming a few people. I want to know who is trustworthy and who is not.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 18/07/2021 11:09

If you don't block them then I can see why the police are reluctant to get involved.

NerrSnerr · 18/07/2021 11:11

How are they contacting you? Comments on Instagram? Tweets? Private messages?

You really just need to block and set your accounts to private until it settles down. Unless you've got Colleen Rooney level detective skills you're not going to get anywhere.

Original poster
User57327259 · 18/07/2021 11:13

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I thought not blocking them would show what is going on and give police something to work on. Why would not blocking make police not do anything?

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 18/07/2021 11:16

[quote User57327259]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I thought not blocking them would show what is going on and give police something to work on. Why would not blocking make police not do anything?[/quote]
Because blocking is a simple solution to stop the situation.

If they then go on to make more accounts and keep doing it then that is a different situation, but it sounds like your engaging in conversation with them too.

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 11:17

[quote User57327259]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I thought not blocking them would show what is going on and give police something to work on. Why would not blocking make police not do anything?[/quote]
Blocking won't make the police do anything.

But if they aren't doing anything anyway, it may the person getting in contact. If they then create another account, it's more evidence that they are harassing you.

Are they being racist? Or commiting a hate crime? If not, its not comparable to the football situation.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 18/07/2021 11:17

Seems that you have a solution but are choosing not to take it. Blocking them is the obvious think to do.

Traled · 18/07/2021 11:19

You can lock down your social media profiles and block any unwanted contact and people you suspect, instead of having to delete it, so you can still keep in contact with friends etc.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2021 11:21

[quote User57327259]@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult I thought not blocking them would show what is going on and give police something to work on. Why would not blocking make police not do anything?[/quote]
No, all not blocking them is doing, is helping to continue the drama.

Block and move on.

By the way, this is nothing like the England footballers who received death threats to them and their families and disgusting racist abuse.

Original poster
User57327259 · 18/07/2021 11:23

Another reason I did not block was that if this is keeping the troll(s) happy it means they might not other things like turn up at my work or wait outside until I come out. I thought I was taking the less awful route. I dont want anyone appearing at work or any other places I go.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 18/07/2021 11:25

What are they actually doing? Are they privately messaging you? Commenting on posts?

What are they actually saying? Is there any reason why you think they'll turn up to your work?

Whiskycav · 18/07/2021 11:25

@User57327259

Another reason I did not block was that if this is keeping the troll(s) happy it means they might not other things like turn up at my work or wait outside until I come out. I thought I was taking the less awful route. I dont want anyone appearing at work or any other places I go.
So do you feel this person is also stalking you?
Original poster
User57327259 · 18/07/2021 11:26

@WorraLiberty I have not said anything on here about what is being said to me. They could even be here too which is why I have not given any wording from the messages

OP posts:
ElementalIllusions · 18/07/2021 11:26

Have they threatened to turn up at your work or wait outside for you to come out?

What are they actually doing to troll you?

Original poster
User57327259 · 18/07/2021 11:30

@ElementalIllusions They have turned up at a place I go to. They indicated they are curious about what is happening there. I suppose a bit of stalking is not beyond them

OP posts: