The way my husband eats crisps

[Doodahtee]

I am in the living room. Door shut. TV on.

He is in the dining room. Door shut. Watching something on his phone.

I can hear every crunch of his crisps.

1. Do you have a patio ?
2. Do you have a spade?

Job done

@Quickchangeartiste 😂😂😂

He's a monster

Does he rustle the bag too. That sends me over the edge.

@idontlikealdi

Rustle: crunch crunch crunch
Rustle: crunch crunch crunch
Rustle: crunch crunch crunch

Buy quieter crisps.

@Ocsetldil like Wotsits. Good idea!

You have my full sympathies. I have to leave the room whenever DH eats crisps or an apple, it's deafening!

Rustling - give him a bowl to tip them in.
Crunching- tell him to suck them.

Could just eat some roast chicken crisps now.

Oh my Christ. I’d have to set him on fire. I cannot be dealing with that. It sets me on edge. When my baby eats, lip smacking is cute. When my husband does it, I want to beat him to death.

Before anyone lays into me for threatening violence and it not being ok to joke about it etc etc, I’m not joking. 😇

Leave the bastard

I feel your pain! My husband makes so much noise when eating French fries-never knew it was even possible! He also makes all kinds of annoying noise putting his fingers in the paper container to pick them up and out-I've spoken to him multiple times and he still chomps and scratches! Makes my blood boil

I bet he is doing what I do when I'm eating crisps without witnesses. I try to crunch them for maximum volume. They taste better that way.

I’ve regularly thought about putting my husband under the patio when he’s eating cornflakes . I feel your pain!

My husband admits that he can’t hear the tv over the sound of his own crisp eating and yet it continues…

OMG my husband CRUNCHES HIS FUCKING ICE IN HIS DRINKS.

I literally get to the point every evening when i am saying "FFS will you just fucking stop it I can't stand it", and 5 mins later he's doing it again.

How do you eat crisps without crunching? Are you suggesting he just suck them?

You have my deepest sympathies- I can't stNd the sound of my husband eating a banana or chewing gum. It gives me the rage!

Some people seem to crunch them with their mouths open, its horrific.

I have to pull DH up on the way he drinks anything from a can. SLUURRRP. You can tip a drink into your mouth without slurping!

I've been known to reach over and rip DH crisp bags up the side to cut down on the rustling. Never found a cure for crunching OR loud finger sucking afterwards.The full squelchy suck-kiss kind of thing.

@Yrevocsid

OMG my husband CRUNCHES HIS FUCKING ICE IN HIS DRINKS.

I literally get to the point every evening when i am saying "FFS will you just fucking stop it I can't stand it", and 5 mins later he's doing it again.

Get the plastic cubes you can freeze to save your sanity? if not then a spot under the patio would be a clear second option.

You've just reminded me about the open mouth crisp water in the office, haven't missed that WFH!!

But the rustling and the crunching add to the joy of eating crisps. I even enjoy looking into the bag and shaking them round to find the crisp I want.

My DH and our 3 sons ate ribs last night. With their hands. Lip smackin finger lickin good ribs.

I was 3 rooms away

I feel your pain.

My husband eats his toast with no butter. Just dry.

And when he eats it sat next to me it sounds like a giant chewing rocks.

Pass me that spade!