The way my husband eats crisps

[Doodahtee]

I am in the living room. Door shut. TV on.

He is in the dining room. Door shut. Watching something on his phone.

I can hear every crunch of his crisps.

Omg I have met my tribe. DH can even make noise and sound like he’s chewing when eating yoghurt. It’s like this visceral reaction of utter repulsion.

The complaining about not being able to hear the TV over his own crisp eating is the best!

May I extend my heartfelt sympathies OP.

Mine whistles.

And cuts food as if he is trying to score a line in the plate rather than just cut the food. It's just a piece of soft fish! You can do a gentle chopping motion with the knife, no need to saw the plate in half! Raaaage.

Is he eating with his mouth open? Why is it so loud?

We have an arrangment always to eat behind a closed door. It makes life a lot easier.

Is it possible that you might have misophonia, OP? I have it, but didn't realise it until a few years ago. My father also had it.

@Doodahtee

The complaining about not being able to hear the TV over his own crisp eating is the best!

I need to pause the tv until he finishes them as I can’t hear the show so there is no point in even trying to watch anything

Make him eat the crisps out of a bowl (after having soaked them in water for 20 minutes)

I get the same rage with whistling and people wispering. It makes me feel murderous.

So if you decide on what grocery shopping you do, could you live without crisps for a bit of peace?

I feel your pain ! Mine saws through the plate too especially when eating something like pizza and rustles and crunches all the way through a whole bag of kettle chips. It is so loud and the munching goes on for ages . Anyone offer a solution?

If only people would realise you can crunch the crisp with your mouth shut, it doesn't need crunching on its way in with your mouth open two people at my work do this and two of my family members. Honestly it's totally totally annoying. I'm getting angry just thinking about it 😤

The yoghurt pot, the interminable scraping, licking, Oh God, I could vomit

@moonbedazzled

But the rustling and the crunching add to the joy of eating crisps. I even enjoy looking into the bag and shaking them round to find the crisp I want.

I agree. I like to save the big buggers til last.

Mine blows over hot food in his mouth why just why ffs
Everything he eats even with mouth closed sounds like a cement mixer
There is no quiet eating he knows how I feel, I get very stabby about it
Other than that he's perfect

God. My ex used to shovel entire punnets of raspberries down in about 3 minutes. I would spend those 3 minutes dreaming of his demise.

I nearly murder dp every morning and night during his interminable, noisy teeth cleaning. I'm surprised he has any enamel left. I put my fingers in my ears and sing for 10 minutes to save my sanity. Crisp, peanut and cracker eating, I feel everyone's pain.

LTB

Tell him to lick all the flavour off until the crisp goes nice and soggy so it doesn't crunch so much.

That's what I do.

@Yrevocsid

OMG my husband CRUNCHES HIS FUCKING ICE IN HIS DRINKS.

I literally get to the point every evening when i am saying "FFS will you just fucking stop it I can't stand it", and 5 mins later he's doing it again.

I'm so sorry but you married a psychopath.

Mine does elbows out, hysterical, high performance salt and pepper grinding. Most of it ends up on the table or floor. I have politely pointed it out.
I also force him to use a bowl for crisps, it's still horrific

I just had the slabs for my new patio delivered this morning if any of you want to post your husbands.

My ex would open crisp packets flat on a table & choose the biggest few, putting those to one side to save till the end like a giant child

If there was nowhere to open them flat he'd open the packet upside down so the big ones would be at the bottom and could be eaten last, as they generally work their way to the top

Once I'd noticed it drove me berserk if I saw him doing it

I have to sit and stare straight ahead till he finishes eating them. I sit thinking it’s not him it’s me. It honestly makes me want to scream and Chuck the crisps at him.😂

He's doing it wrong.

Everyone knows the best way to eat a bag of crisps is arrange them evenly between 2 slices of buttered white bread then chomp!

Arghh I feel this so much.
Mine also crunches his ice cubes.
And slurps his tea / coffee: like a really long savouring slurp followed by a satisfied sigh: “sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp AHHHH”
He also chews with his mouth open sometimes and don’t even get me started on snack items. Luckily he’s on a diet now so there are fewer crunchy snacks, and I’m at work while he eats his lunchtime apple, thank fuck, otherwise I’d need @LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag ‘s patio slabs!