AIBU to think all these sayings are utter nonsense & do you believe them?

[ForeverAintEnough3]

You know the type.
‘What’s for you won’t pass you by’
‘Everything happens for a reason’
‘What goes around comes around’

Inspired by me getting more bad results in a fertility test and idiots telling me ‘everything happens for a reason’

Even if I do get pregnant and have a healthy baby I don’t see what the ‘reason’ was for me to go through 4 years of infertility hell only to parent my child with a severe panic disorder acquired as a result of said fertility treatment. Instead of just conceiving normally when my mental health was good.

I can’t see any reason why people dying tragically young happens. Or people losing their children.

I don’t see any evidence of horrible people getting their just desserts - most seem to be happy out.

I’ve two friends long term single who would love to meet someone. Is there no one out there for them then as apparently what’s for them won’t pass them by.

I can’t stand them! Does anyone else use them/also go crazy when people use them! Any more gems?

Should say this is semi lighthearted looking for your stories of when people also drove you nuts with inane sayings

“Everything happens for a reason” is guaranteed to make me see rage.

So babies getting cancer has a reason?
Paedophiles targeting children has a reason?
Something personally upsetting to me has a reason?

No. Fuck off. Most things don’t have a reason and meaningless platitudes don’t help.

Sorry not lighthearted but I feel quite passionate about it!

I know people meam well when they say "what's for you won't go by you" or similar. But that does annoy me. Of course things that would improve your life, make you happy etc can pass you by (sometimes you'll realise, sometimes you won't).

Totally with you.

But, you did say......I don’t see any evidence of horrible people getting their just desserts

If it is blancmange or trifle, cheese cake or cream cakes, then I would be delighted. Horrid sugary stuff that gives me no fulfilment. But which 'just dessert' do you see horrible people get?

Yeah, I think about 10 million would be just about right for me. Sadly, it seems to keep passing me by.

I hate all those sayings, they're ways to make you shut up when you're often justifiably upset. I also went through years of fertility treatment and people kept trying to give me platitudes. Nope, it was a shit situation and not some universal power knowing just when to sprinkle the magical baby dust.

@JackieTheFart I agree so much!!! Sometimes really unfair awful things happen for no reason is more accurate!!!

@TeardropsFallingOnHotSand point very well made 😂😂 should be just deserts! Although if bad people were going to get their just desserts if would definitely something like overheated meringue topped with gone off bananas!!! Or my least favourite dessert (carrot cake)

‘What’s for you won’t pass you by’
God, that's an awful saying. So if something I want isn't happening for me, it's not for me?! that sounds like I should just give up all hope!

I know what you mean. You just can’t apply those sayings to everything. They are comforting in some cases, but not for others.

They're all utter bullshit in my experience. Can't imagine anyone would think these sayings would actually make someone feel better. Probably as a previous poster said, it makes the person saying it feel better and shuts down further conversation.

@bingoitsadingo

‘What’s for you won’t pass you by’ God, that's an awful saying. So if something I want isn't happening for me, it's not for me?! that sounds like I should just give up all hope!

Exactly! Total nonsense.

"Karma will get them" is another awful one.

Sometimes really good things happen to bad people, just as bad things happen to good people. There's no such thing as karma!

I basically think people say this kind of empty platitude when they don't want to (or can't) emotionally engage with what your saying but want to feel like they've been kind in some way. They have the effect of closing the conversation down because there's no real acceptance response and so the problem goes away for the other person.

Gah loads of typos. Sorry

@PlanningNewbie it’s very true. I know a girl who was a horrible bully at school. She’s now married, two lovely kids, gorgeous house in a fancy area and a good job. No sign of any karma there!

@user1477249785

I basically think people say this kind of empty platitude when they don't want to (or can't) emotionally engage with what your saying but want to feel like they've been kind in some way. They have the effect of closing the conversation down because there's no real acceptance response and so the problem goes away for the other person.

If this is true it’s even more annoying - I put it down to people just being idiots and meaning well but you’re right it does shut down the conversation.

@TeardropsFallingOnHotSand

Totally with you.

But, you did say......I don’t see any evidence of horrible people getting their just desserts

If it is blancmange or trifle, cheese cake or cream cakes, then I would be delighted. Horrid sugary stuff that gives me no fulfilment. But which 'just dessert' do you see horrible people get?

Isn't it just deserts (as in, what you deserve not the post meal sweet treat).

somehow i don't think many under 25's would spout this stuff,

'What’s for you won’t pass you by’
This used to mean' don't be going after stuff that isn't for the likes of you'/'don't be getting notions' rather than 'keep manifesting and it'll just turn up'.

I hate these sayings too

Some religious ones I hate
God won’t give you more than you can handle
If you pray hard enough miracles can happen
(I am a Catholic and talked to my priest who said these are a load of painful rubbish.)

Sometimes the answer really js “life is unfair and it’s shit” I would much rather this than “everything happens for a reason” yeah both my parents died from cancer. One when I was a baby and the second in my mid 20s for a “reason”

I much prefer someone to say it’s not fucking fair, life isn’t fair it’s crap” than some kind of positive spin.

Everything does not happen for a fucking reason. Some poor people get an enormous amount of shit sent their way and it’s crappy and not for a reason. I hate this “find love and acceptance” crap. I’m sorry for your bad results, IMO there is no reason, you are just unlucky.

You forgot “you win some, you lose some” and “what will be, will be” 🤮

Yes, these are all total nonsense, usually trotted out as well-meant but deeply irritating platitudes by people who think they’re making someone struggling to have a child/find a partner/deal with someone getting away with wrong-doing feel better. When of course it makes them feel murderous because they’re patently untrue.

A friend with a profoundly disabled child who needs 24/7 care says she wants to smack the hundredth person who tells her ‘God only gives you what you can cope with’ and ‘Special children are only given to special people.’

I’m always bemused by at least things can’t get any worse!

Oh God they can. Always.

All of these sayings are total crap and I find they are mostly said by people who have had lots of luck in life. My personal favourite is ‘You get out of life what you put in’. Yeah tell that to all the people on minimum wage working loads of hours just to survive!