Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...he’s being Best Man at his Lesbian BF’s Wedding...but he’s slept with her

66 replies

ChildlessButHappy · 30/05/2021 13:45

My Partner is acting as Best Man at his BF’s Wedding. My issue is they’ve slept together (more than once), albeit before me. Her Wife to Be doesn’t know and I’d never tell her. The complication and what’s making me so uneasy is that the BF was BF’s with my Partner’s Ex...and she slept with him! My Partner and I have been together for a year and are moving in together. The BF has been asked to meet me repeatedly but always has an excuse. I’m not invited to the Wedding because they need to keep numbers tight due to COVID etc. Would their relationship bother you???

OP posts:
mrsmalcolmreynolds · 30/05/2021 13:55

Did any of their sleeping together involve infidelity? If not then don't see what the problem is really.

littlepattilou · 30/05/2021 13:56

This wouldn't bother me tbh.

Ijustreallywantacat · 30/05/2021 13:58

I dont see the issue. You know they are friends, there are COVID restrictions. You either trust him or you don't, but don't act like it's his fault if you don't 🤷‍♀️

WildCherryBlossom · 30/05/2021 14:12

She's getting married to someone else. It would be pretty out there to cheat on her new wife at her wedding (no idea how you would find the time at a wedding anyway). I think it's ok.

BaronessBomburst · 30/05/2021 14:16

So your partner slept with his ex-girlfiend's best friend, who is now a lesbian?
Was he with his ex-girlfiend when he slept with her?

Onesnowynight · 30/05/2021 14:17

Wouldn’t bother me

Freecuthbert · 30/05/2021 14:17

Was infidelity involved or not?

TheMNChicken · 30/05/2021 14:18

🤔

YouShouldLeave · 30/05/2021 14:18

How does a lesbian have sex with a man?

missmopple · 30/05/2021 14:20

@YouShouldLeave

How does a lesbian have sex with a man?
The same way a non-lesbian has sex with a man.
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 30/05/2021 14:21

I may still be slightly jaded from too much wine last night, but I'm not fully comprehending?

giletrouge · 30/05/2021 14:21

Definitely need a diagram! Grin

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 30/05/2021 14:22

My DH slept with a friend of his when they were both single, we are both good friends with her now, it’s just sex with consenting adults,

YouShouldLeave · 30/05/2021 14:28

Yanbu.

toocold54 · 30/05/2021 14:30

They slept together it obviously didn’t mean anything seeing as she’s getting married and he’s now with you. I’m sure a lot of friends have slept together but not many people know about it it just happens that you know about this.

Aprilx · 30/05/2021 14:30

You lost me at “the BF was BF’s with my partner’s ex” and she slept with him!” Eh? Who is the she and who is the him in this sentence.

I think I need a diagram too. Although I don’t think any of this would bother me but admittedly cannot make full sense of it.

Jizzonmy · 30/05/2021 14:31

Yes it would probably bother me. But not because of the best friend..because of your partner.
Sounds like he’s hiding something trying to keep you two apart.

Freecuthbert · 30/05/2021 14:32

@Aprilx

You lost me at “the BF was BF’s with my partner’s ex” and she slept with him!” Eh? Who is the she and who is the him in this sentence.

I think I need a diagram too. Although I don’t think any of this would bother me but admittedly cannot make full sense of it.

Glad I'm not the only one confused by this!
toocold54 · 30/05/2021 14:32

She's getting married to someone else. It would be pretty out there to cheat on her new wife at her wedding (no idea how you would find the time at a wedding anyway).

Unless it’s actually him who’s getting married to her Grin

username34512875 · 30/05/2021 14:34

She’s a lesbian ..... why are you bothered

MaybeCrazy2 · 30/05/2021 14:34

I genuinely don’t understand this. It’s bank holiday here you know! Can you explain it again like you would to a 5 year old.

Doyoumind · 30/05/2021 14:34

It's possible to sleep with someone and for it to mean nothing romantically isn't it?

She doesn't sound like the nicest person if she was happy to sleep with her friend's ex.

I can see why you might feel uncomfortable meeting someone he's slept with previously but you're on dodgy ground telling him who he can and can't be friends with.

MaybeCrazy2 · 30/05/2021 14:35

So is it your boyfriend, whose with you, whose also a guy, is going to a wedding of an ex girlfriend, and the girlfriend is marrying a woman and that woman is having your boyfriend as best man?

Icantreachthepretzels · 30/05/2021 14:36

So - let's say Alice is getting married and Tom is her best friend and best man and also Ops boyfriend.

At some point Alice and Tom have slept together.

Tom used to go out with Tracey. Tracey and Alice were best friends. Tom has both split up with Tracey and slept with Alice.

The big question is: was Tom still with Tracey when he slept with Alice?

If he's a cheater, he's a cheater. If he's not, he's not.

Doyoumind · 30/05/2021 14:36

@MaybeCrazy2

I genuinely don’t understand this. It’s bank holiday here you know! Can you explain it again like you would to a 5 year old.
OP's male partner has slept with a female friend. That female friend was best friends with the man's ex but still slept with him. The female friend is now marrying a woman and wants the man to be best man.