He cut her hair

[pepsicolagirl]

Got home from doing the family food shop this afternoon to find that my OH has given 15yo DD a haircut.

From some angles it looks...ok... but others, well, think jim carrey in Dumb and Dumber but with an undercut.

My plan had been to take her to the hairdressers when she had appointments again and let her have it done properly.

She mentioned getting her dad (who, as has been confirmed today, has zero scissor skills) to do it. I said to wait. I said this to both of them.They did not wait.

AIBU to refuse to tidy it up for her (I am also not a hairdresser but have been giving trims over lockdown) and tell her to ask her dad for the dosh for the hairdresser to put it right and organise it themselves?

I am not happy but it is her hair and I cannot think of anything I could say which would be worse than having to live with that and having to answer to her teachers (she goes back to school tomorrow and 1 of the reasons I told them not to DIY it is because I am fairly sure the school does not allow undercuts...)

Their mess - they fix it!

They didn't listen so they have to bear the consequences. He can pay for her to go to the hairdresser to have it put right.

He can also go into school with her and they can jointly own up.

Reminds me of an advert with James Nesbitt in it. He cut his niece's hair and made a complete mess of it. Had to pay a hairdresser to tidy it up.

I doubt she'll be the only one at school with a messed up cut. I've fixed two within my family/bubble and seen many, many more. As a hairdresser some are painful to look at. I have frequent urges to wander the aisles of Tesco, scissors in hand rescuing people from their lock down mistakes.

Not ur job. Leave them to it.

Yes, you would be unreasonable and petty not to help your child.

You should help your DD, surely hairdressers are going to be booked up for weeks?

@madmara

Yes, you would be unreasonable and petty not to help your child.

She’s 15 now. If they’d listened to OP in the first place, she wouldn’t have fucked up hair. As it is, she didn’t and so she does. If OP then swoops in and fixes it after all, all that does is reinforce the message of ‘don’t listen to mummy because she’ll always come and fix it anyway.’

Don't sweat it! It's her and OH business. she's the one that has to walk around school with a dodgy cut Don't trim it, let OH do it or like you said, pay for a cut. Hairdressers open tomorrow! They could have waited!

Is it that bad it's going to be noticed by her teachers? Seriously?

YABU - they tried something, it went wrong, she's 15 - both of you as her parents should help her to fix it, if she wants/needs your help.

Ok, maybe sort it out but at least let her sweat a bit!

Nowt to do with you, smile benevolently and move on.

‘don’t listen to mummy because she’ll always come and fix it anyway.’

In the real world, children are allowed to make minor errors of judgement and be helped out by their parents.

YANBU at all to be pissed off with them, to give them both a bollocking and give them a smug told you so. However I think it's a bit unreasonable not to help her. We all know how important our hairstyle was at 15.

Leave them to it. She's 15 - I thought you were going to say five.

Ah I don’t know, I’d probably say well this is why I said to leave it but I know I couldn’t get that worked up about hair and if she asked me to try and sort it I would.

If it’s the sort of thing people are going to be nasty about at school then yes I’d fix it. If that had been me at 15 I’d be making myself sick with anxiety about how horrible the bullies would be about it, and devastated if my mum wouldn’t help. But your dd might have the strength / style to brazen it out, you’ll know what camp she’s in.

I think your being a bit ridiculous. Its only hair

I really don't think they did anything wrong in trying to cut her hair, its hardly like they did anything dangerous or stupid. If you have the skills to fix it its pretty petty not to

I would let the hairdresser sort it.

I'd be gracious and cut it slightly better for her so she knows you're always there for her. Then she can get a hairdresser later. In a couple of years, she won't need or ask for your help, but she'll remember this if you didn't help and then it won't be a look back and laugh memory!

Obviously I don't know which hairdresser you were planning to take her to but my hairdresser is booked solid for over a month. If her dad can get a hairdresser to get it fixed in the next week then yeah fair enough, but otherwise I'd help her out. I'm 34 and decided to try and cut my own fringe. Thankfully my mum fixed it (she's also not a hairdresser) 😂😂.

Oh I just read she's back at school tomorrow. Definitely just help her out.

Is your DD happy with it?

If there is a problem with the school then let her Dad sort it out.

I would help my DD out here as she's back to school tomorrow.

How can a school not allow undercuts?!

@OwlBeThere

How can a school not allow undercuts?!

Don't get me started.. I don't agree with half of the things on the not allowed list but I have always tried to show a united front with the school. Their school, their rules which we agreed to when we sent her there - and DD has got to yr 10 without breaking them so we did alright until now

I am more annoyed at OH for undermining what I said tbh - ESPECIALLY because every single time he has attempted to cut someones hair he has royally fucked it up. We agreed after the last time that he should leave it to the professionals - or at a push, me.

It's half about hair and half about me being pissed off at just not being listened to yet again.