He cut her hair

[pepsicolagirl]

Got home from doing the family food shop this afternoon to find that my OH has given 15yo DD a haircut.

From some angles it looks...ok... but others, well, think jim carrey in Dumb and Dumber but with an undercut.

My plan had been to take her to the hairdressers when she had appointments again and let her have it done properly.

She mentioned getting her dad (who, as has been confirmed today, has zero scissor skills) to do it. I said to wait. I said this to both of them.They did not wait.

AIBU to refuse to tidy it up for her (I am also not a hairdresser but have been giving trims over lockdown) and tell her to ask her dad for the dosh for the hairdresser to put it right and organise it themselves?

I am not happy but it is her hair and I cannot think of anything I could say which would be worse than having to live with that and having to answer to her teachers (she goes back to school tomorrow and 1 of the reasons I told them not to DIY it is because I am fairly sure the school does not allow undercuts...)

@BunnyBerries

I'd be gracious and cut it slightly better for her so she knows you're always there for her. Then she can get a hairdresser later. In a couple of years, she won't need or ask for your help, but she'll remember this if you didn't help and then it won't be a look back and laugh memory!

Fair point. I have evened it up and made it less...blockish... but I don't really trust my limited skillset to cut into it anymore than that. She seems happy enough with it now and has just asked if we can put some styling stuff in it. It looks alright when it's styled to the side.

As well as annoyance at not being listened to though, it's the fact that they are back tomorrow and this was my only day off after a week of 10 hour shifts. Cutting hair was most definitely NOT on my list of crap I wanted to be doing.

Goodness. I couldn't bring myself to worry.

I'd laugh and say Oh well, it's your hair!

Is she bothered about it?

How can you be so spiteful to your daughter

She's 15 surely it's time she had say over whether she gets a hair cut and if her dad attempts it or not. Making her choose between the two of you is harsh. It's up to you if you help her out or not but don't take your frustration at your OH's rubbish attempt out on your daughter.

And with lockdown I expect the school has seen many a dodgy haircut

Blimey, but aren’t hairdressers open from tomorrow? She couldn’t wait?

@idrinkchocolatemilk

How can you be so spiteful to your daughter

Spiteful? Really?! Ok

@Cherrysoup

Blimey, but aren’t hairdressers open from tomorrow? She couldn’t wait?

Well, precisely! I know it might have taken a little while to get an appt maybe but this is why it's frustrating!

Can she not pull it all to the front and tie it and cut it that way? Will make it slightly layered if it's looking blocky. There are some youtube videos of people doing this if that helps, and it is quick!

@MadMadMadamMim

Goodness. I couldn't bring myself to worry.

I'd laugh and say Oh well, it's your hair!

Is she bothered about it?

She wasn't bothered much, it was more the assumption that Mum could and/or would fix it.

I have done a few trims and the odd buzz cut but I am not skilled in this area at all

They didn't listen to your sensible advice OP. Their mess they sort it!

@RaspberryBubblegum

Can she not pull it all to the front and tie it and cut it that way? Will make it slightly layered if it's looking blocky. There are some youtube videos of people doing this if that helps, and it is quick!

it was above her ears

Ah, you’ve been nice and fixed it. I’d have been hacked off too and I’d make sure they knew it!

This will be one of the things they laugh about as a father-daughter in 20 years. Let them work it out. If she asks you - help.

@madmara

‘don’t listen to mummy because she’ll always come and fix it anyway.’

In the real world, children are allowed to make minor errors of judgement and be helped out by their parents.

She was. Her dad helped her do it.

Is your daughter bothered by it?
If she's not, let them sort it or do whatever they want.
If she is, I would try damage limitation and be taking her wherever I could find, within reason, to sort it ASAP

Your making a mountain out of a molehill.

Its pretty much a right of passage to cut your hair in a shitty cut. Its not like your DH has gone against you, they've just been a bit silly. It equally might have turned out okay and saved your DD some money in the long run.

Its hardly a massive effort to sort, and it doesn't really change her going to the hairdressers because she was going anyway. How long did it actually take for you to sort out?

I’d leave her to it now, it doesn’t sound like she’s too upset about it from what you’ve said.

My ex did this to our DS. The poor child looks like a mushroom now. I’m saying nothing but it’s really funny.

I don't get the issue at all. Are you annoyed because she didn't do what you advised? What would you do if she had a professional haircut and hated it?
You seem really petty to care about this. I would just laugh and fix it for her if I could.

I would however, be having a hissy word with the DH to see what he was playing at and why he disregarded your advice.

Why though? Does everyone have to do what mum says all the time? This is really a harmless mistake, no one is upset, no one has lost out. The results are enough of a natural consequence. Saying I told you so is not going to benefit anyone

Why does your advice overrule your dh agreeing to do something your dd wanted him to do? It's only hair fgs - she can have it cut from tomorrow anyway. I don't see what the big deal is tbh. I let dh cut my hair. He does dd's undercut for her too - and he's the deputy head of her school!

Is she bothered though? It sounds like you’re the only one with an issue with the haircut?

You made me laugh with Jim Carrey in dumb and dumber 😂 my husband has done the same to our son before without the undercut. YANBU