I would have a different child?

[AugustMummyxo]

Saturday afternoon boredom sending me a little crazy....

Just thinking if you and OH had sex an hour/minutes/even seconds later and conceived would the baby be a completely different one to the one you got

We have a DS but if OH had stayed in the shower just a minute longer that fateful day I could potentially have DD a completely different child if the winning sperm was released at a different time.

Crackers I know, is this a thing?

It's a zillion to one chance to get that child. (Other, more accurate numbers are available.)

Luckily we got the best child in the world so phew.

I have a friend who had three embryos, one implanted and the other two frozen. She got pregnant and had a child. Then a couple of years later they decided to have a second child, implanting both remaining embryos for a better chance. Both implanted and she has twins.

So all three of her children were conceived at the same time and could have been any combination of singleton/twins. IE the eldest could have been one of the frozen ones and been a twin with one of the younger siblings.

Weird. Blows my mind.

Georgie that's nuts! Really strange and amazing!

@MrsTerryPratchett

It's a zillion to one chance to get that child. (Other, more accurate numbers are available.)

Luckily we got the best child in the world so phew.

Wow that's interesting to know!

I get stupidly emotional thinking of that and I wouldn't have the DS I have now. Although I realise I would have a different little human who I would adore and not know any different!

Yes, it's spooky - best not to think too much about it.

It applies to you too - if your parents had done something differently you wouldn't exist!

Did you watch About time on channel 5 this afternoon?

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat

I have a friend who had three embryos, one implanted and the other two frozen. She got pregnant and had a child. Then a couple of years later they decided to have a second child, implanting both remaining embryos for a better chance. Both implanted and she has twins.

So all three of her children were conceived at the same time and could have been any combination of singleton/twins. IE the eldest could have been one of the frozen ones and been a twin with one of the younger siblings.

Weird. Blows my mind.

Mind blowing!

I wonder how the course of this families life could have been different if another embryo was implanted first. Maybe nothing major, but maybe something big. You just never know do you.

Yes, and what's more I did it three times and got the best one available at the time

@toolazytothinkofausername

Did you watch About time on channel 5 this afternoon?

Not this afternoon but I have watched it a few months ago!

Really loved this film and highlights how everything can change by the smallest action.

I only exist because my mum lost a baby boy when she was seven months pregnant........the baby she lost was unplanned and she'd been done with babies until that happened.

The world keeps turning in strange ways at times. 🤨

If it turned out that the winning sperm was disqualified and the silver medallist bumped up to gold then my ds/dd would be quite different!

That's right isn't it? All the sperm are different?

@littlepeas

Yes, it's spooky - best not to think too much about it.

It applies to you too - if your parents had done something differently you wouldn't exist!

Yeah I think about this alot because then I start to think would a different sperm still have had my consciousness or would I never have existed at all? Then you go down a wormhole of questioning what is consciousness and reality anyway. Does reality exist if you arent a part of it because you would never have known it? It just starts to melt my brain

I think about this too! We conceived DD when when I was working away. It's crazy to think that if I hadn't gone back home to see DH that weekend, we'd have never had our lovely DD. We were TTC so we would have conceived a different child around that time.

I read a book a few years ago where the protagonist gets to live the life she would have had in an alternative reality, but her child is different; a son rather than a daughter. She experiences a huge sense of loss, but grows to love this child too. I want to say that it was the The First Time Lauren Pauling died but I'm not sure it was.

Yes and surely even if you had sex at the exact same time etc, if another sperm had got their first, you’d have a completely different child too.
When women say my child is great, but I wish I’d waited a year or two to have my child or the opposite, started having babies younger, I think but you then wouldn’t have the child you have. It would be a completely different one!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who spends their time thinking about things like this! The fact that my body has grown a child with only minimal effort on my part still amazes me sometimes.

Like PP, I was only born because my mum lost the baby she was pregnant with before me. Weird to think that if that pregnancy was successful, I wouldn't be here.

That's what my partner said to me and it changed my whole way of thinking. I was an older mum (through choice) and only have one child. After having my son I started to think we should have started a family earlier so we could have had more than one. But partner pointed out that we would've had a different child at a different time. So no, happy with the one I got so no regrets!

You’re forgetting that the dna is always split differently. So it could’ve easily been a different child with that same egg and sperm.

I think this too although I don’t have children!

Mad isn't it. Mind-blowing in fact. I find it overwhelming sometimes, the random things in life that are balanced on a knife edge.

It struck me the other day that if I wasn't me, I wouldn't be totally different, but quite possibly quite similar to me. I told my brother. He said, 'We've done that, actually, you and I. But a few years apart.'

He and I are really similar. It creeped me out that we are 'alternative possible outcomes' of the same equation, rather than individual entities.

We are all very lucky to be who we are. It was highly unlikely!

My best friend was only born because her mum had a miscarriage with her previous pregnancy (4th child). I know it sounds awful but I’m so grateful that miscarriage happened as I couldn’t be without my best friend, she’s an absolute gem!

But yes it blows my mind!

Good to know it's not just me who thinks about these things then 😄.

There's a whole host of things that blow my mind, this being one of them...

We had DD via IVF and we had 6 top graded embryos so the dr had his pick of which one to put back.... so it's weird to think we have DD because the dr picked that particular embryo and he could've easily picked a different one.

I agree. I lost a pregnancy before I fell pregnant three months later with DC2. It blows my mind to think if that pregnancy had been successful DC2 would never exist. Devastating.

I miscarried my 4th pregnancy and didn’t try again after. I’d delayed ttc by a couple of months for my sister’s wedding (it was my choice to do this) - I sometimes wonder if we’d ttc’d as planned and I’d got pregnant in one of those months (quite likely as always got pregnant first try) whether I would have had a 4th dc.