I would have a different child?

[AugustMummyxo]

Saturday afternoon boredom sending me a little crazy....

Just thinking if you and OH had sex an hour/minutes/even seconds later and conceived would the baby be a completely different one to the one you got

We have a DS but if OH had stayed in the shower just a minute longer that fateful day I could potentially have DD a completely different child if the winning sperm was released at a different time.

Crackers I know, is this a thing?

[drivenmadbyhomeschool]

I find it strange to think that if things were different I could have had a son or sons. I have daughters.

It feels a bit sliding doors doesn't it, one slight change, a twist in time, and everything is different.

[YoComoManzanas]

Yep, it's pretty mind blowing really. Shown with identical twins. Even split from the same fertilised egg there are minute physical differences and completely different personalities.

[huuuuunnnndderrricks]

I always say that I've hit hundreds of children roaming around inside me .. isn't that weird !!

[FolkSongSweet]

I also like to think that as every girl is born with all the eggs she’ll ever have, the eggs that grew into my children developed when I was in my mother’s womb. So they’ve (at least partially!) been part of her body too. And I’ve been part of my grandmother’s! Weird.

[crackofdoom]

I remember years ago my mum telling me that before she met my dad she nearly emigrated to Australia as a ten pound pom in the sixties, but got cold feet at the the last minute. I said "So I was nearly born an Australian?", but she pointed out that I wouldn't have had the same dad, so wouldn't have been me ....

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

I had a chemical in January 2019. If that pregnancy had continued, my DD2 wouldn’t be here and she is a bundle of sunshine. As much as I was desperately sad that that pregnancy wasn’t meant to be, I’m so glad I have DD2 now. I often think about it.

I also often think about how lucky I was that my contraception failed with DH (then DP and in the very early stages of our relationship) and gave us DD1. I was so lucky that it didn’t fail with a previous partner.

[NuniaBeeswax]

Can't win a tenner on the lottery but somehow managed to defy the odds to be born into this shite existence. Sigh...

[FourTeaFallOut]

That's really weird to think about. Do you what else is weird though - I think it might be the only race I have ever won in my life 🤣

[SleepingStandingUp]

I think about this as DS was born with a congenital "defect" and wonky chromosomes - would it have needed a different egg or a different sperm to make him typical? Or given its a mosaic condition (so the chromosome changes occured after the first divisions) would it have happened but to a different child - as in is it me as the carrier caused it.

And now we have twins - what of the egg hadn't split? Which one would we have because personality wise they've been different since the moment of their birth! And being raised as a singleton Vs a twin would Def cause massive nurture changes to him and DS

[HavelockVetinari]

@MrsTerryPratchett

It's a zillion to one chance to get that child. (Other, more accurate numbers are available.)

Luckily we got the best child in the world so phew.

Three things:

1. MY child is the best in the world, soz. Yours can be second though.

1. The correct phrase is "It's a million-to-one chance, but it might just work!"

1. According to Sir Pterry: "million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten".

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I often think about this. And not only that, if I hadn’t been in a certain place I would never have met dh. If my df hasn’t gone dancing with his friend on leave, he wouldn’t have met my mum. If my dgm’s fiancé hadn’t been killed in ww1 my mum wouldn’t have been born. Life is just a series of ifs.

[TonightMatthew]

I think about this a lot as we had 4 frozen embryos. One replaced in 2015 (DC1) and one replaced in 2017 (DC2). So my children were 'conceived' at the same time, then chosen by an embryologist on the day to be defrosted. Then one became my oldest and one my youngest, all down to the order they were chosen by the embryologists whose names I don't even know.

My other 2 embryos will never be used and letting go of that potential life is incredibly hard for DH and I, as we have treasured our embryos. They are stored in a clinic in the next city and I say hello to them whenever I'm passing Even when IVF miraculously works it can be an emotional turmoil long after the event.

[namechangefail2020]

I feel bad sometimes when I look at my son who came after a miscarriage. He wouldn't be here if that didn't happen. So weird

[AugustMummyxo]

@NuniaBeeswax Bloody annoying isn't it?!

[Blueeyedgirl21]

My mum had a miscarriage before me, she has my older three sibs then a gap then me, and in between a miscarriage- I said once wow you would have miss me if you didn’t have me and had the random sibling instead and she was like well I wouldn’t miss you because you never would have existed ! And I was like omg you are right. It’s not like you get told what kids you’ll get then wait for them to arrive is it.

[WingingItSince1973]

I only exist because my mum fancied a lad called Martin at a disco (70s), her friend asked the wrong Martin out but my mum thought what the hell and went out with him 🤣 Bam i was born within the year!

[WingingItSince1973]

Also my 14 year old wouldn't have been born if the 3rd baby wasn't an ectopic. It was a total fluke as the baby was growing outside the tube in my stomach area. They still call it an ectopic though. I waited 9 years and fell for my dd3 by being lazy with contraception 🤣

[BobbitWormNightmares]

@tinylittleyou

I saw in the paper a gay male couple who had some ivf babies, they had identical twin embryos frozen, had a baby with one embryo then used the other frozen embryo years later for another baby. So identical twins years apart, I’d find it really weird if essentially my clone was born whilst I was older

I've never heard of that, that's so fascinating but also very strange for the twins?

[Botoxtime]

My mum wanted 2 children only. My sister was a twin but she lost one so my sister was a singleton. Without that twin passing very early on in the pregnancy I wouldn't have come along as they would have had their 2 kids!

[Botoxtime]

Also I was given 7 months of clomid rather than the 6 recommended. The 7th round is my child.

[fiddlerstune]

Name changed for this.
My parents always said that they hoped for a wonderful child but instead they had me. After they had both died I was going through some papers and found my mother's records from the hospital when she had me. She had lost a baby at a late stage of pregnancy 6 months before she got pregnant with me. Now I know why they said that. Their life would have been much better with my older sibling because I didn't make them happy.

[squirrelnutkins1]

@marplemead if you remember the name of the book will you tag me please!

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

@ThinkAboutItTomorrow

Yes and in lots of way my DDs are different but they look so alike at the same ages the only way I know which is which is the date of the photo.

This is the same for my DDs. They are so similar it’s unreal!

I look at pictures of DSis and myself when we were babies (people often asked if we were twins growing up and even now as adults) and we look obviously related but not so alike that we can’t see the difference. My DDs, however, there are some pictures where we can only tell because of the house we’re in. Crazy! There are seven years between them and naturally conceived.

[littlepattilou]

@fiddlerstune I am so sorry you have been through this.

How cruel for your parents to say what they did...

[littlepattilou]

Brilliant thread @AugustMummyxo !!! And no you are not the only one thinking this way. And I also think it's weird that out of nearly 8 billion people, no two people have exactly the same face, and no two people have the same fingerprints, not even identical twins.

I even think things like (when I take the left turn through the narrow 2 mile road to my little village, instead of the right turn that's 3 miles, but a straighter road,) would my life have gone down a different route? Would something have happened that would have changed the course of it?