To not give a shit that she didn’t like her present?

[CardoMondo]

My sister is 13 years younger than me. She’s a brat, always has been. Completely helpless and spoilt to ridiculous levels. She’s 27 now and still treated like a child. She never gets me. Christmas or birthday present and only occasional makes me a card out of printer paper folded in half. I’m not bothered ... at least I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the expectation that I go out of my way for her.

One year I didn’t buy her a birthday present (but did get her a card which is more than she got me that year.) all hell broke lose and my mum kicked off saying I was out of order etc!!

So for Christmas this year I got her a calendar with dogs on it with all the money raised going to a dog rescue charity. She got me nothing.

Apparently she was upset my the present as dogs are “my” thing, not hers. I really don’t care one bit! I only bought it to support the charity and to say I’d got her “something”

AIBU

I find those who are babies well into their adult hears, tend to stay child like when it comes to gifts.

Why don't you say something?

Just reply. Ok message received- cats next year or would you prefer an Oxfam goat?

Why don't you say I didn't really like what you got me either, shall we swap?

Ok, next year I’ll get for you what you got for me this year

Reply saying ‘At least you bloody got something you spoiled selfish cow’. Unbelievable that she’s moaning when she got you nothing! Cf!

Yanbu, I think it was excellent. She sounds like a dreadful brat! 27 years old and behaving like that?! I'd make it a yearly thing, picking a new random charity every year.

Well, cats are her thing and to be fair she would probably have liked a cat calendar ... but I was more interested in supporting my chosen charity lol

One year I didn’t buy her a birthday present (but did get her a card which is more than she got me that year.) all hell broke lose and my mum kicked off saying I was out of order etc!!

How did your mother respond when you pointed that she gets you SFA? Does she know?

Who on earth voted YABU?

I agree with the suggestions that you ask to swap! My sister is exactly the same OP.

@LuckyAmy1986

Why don't you say I didn't really like what you got me either, shall we swap?

Love this

Who is telling you she's upset? Your mum or her? If it's your mum I'd take it with a pinch of salt. She's babying her. If your sister is moaning then respond saying 'ok, I'll get you what you got me next year'. Then forget and if your mother moans remind her your sister is an adult.

Why don't you say I didn't really like what you got me either, shall we swap?

This. I like this!

Well, cats are her thing and to be fair she would probably have liked a cat calendar ... but I was more interested in supporting my chosen charity lol

Did you have a good idea she wouldn't like it beforehand? I wouldn't get her anything. Not a bean. I also wouldn't decide to buy her something knowing she probably won't like it.

YABU to buy her anything at all if she never gets you anything.

@CaptainSandy

Who on earth voted YABU?

The sister

@Butchyrestingface

One year I didn’t buy her a birthday present (but did get her a card which is more than she got me that year.) all hell broke lose and my mum kicked off saying I was out of order etc!!

How did your mother respond when you pointed that she gets you SFA? Does she know?

She just kept saying it was mean of me to get her nothing at all ... she honestly still sees her as a small child.

My sister is the same although I am the youngest by a similar range. Fortunately neither of my parents defend her. Didn't even get a birthday card this year, or even a text, just an.obligatory Facebook home. And she wonders why I don't bother to get in touch. Especially when a great deal of effort and expense went into her lockdown birthday just before it was mine.

Why can't you just have a conversation with her like proper grown ups?

"Let's not do presents or cards for each other because you don't want to."

Why get her anything at all? Does it matter what your Mum says? All of you are making mountains out of molehills.

Meanwhile in other news...

She just kept saying it was mean of me to get her nothing at all ... she honestly still sees her as a small child.

Does your sister still live at home? Does she/has she ever worked?

I take it there are no learning disabilities or serious mental health issues otherwise you would have mentioned those.

It will probably be good for your sister to have at least ONE adult in her life who isn't taking her shite and doesn't flood her with "unconditional positive regard".

@Butchyrestingface

Well, cats are her thing and to be fair she would probably have liked a cat calendar ... but I was more interested in supporting my chosen charity lol

Did you have a good idea she wouldn't like it beforehand? I wouldn't get her anything. Not a bean. I also wouldn't decide to buy her something knowing she probably won't like it.

No, she doesn’t dislike dogs, she quite likes them in fact but probably not to the extent of having them up on her wall. I didn’t purposely get her something she wouldn’t like but I just didn’t go out of my way to make sure I got her something she’d love either. If someone got me a cat calendar for example I wouldn’t be in love with it but I’d be grateful and find somewhere to display it. But then, I’m not a brat.

@CaptainSandy

Who on earth voted YABU?

OPs sister?

I love the suggestion that you swap. I would also get her something she will mildly dislike or not use every year but then I'm petty

I would literally reply "what did you get me?"

Who on earth voted YABU?
OPs sister?

Sometimes (not on this occasion) I vote YABU because I'm reading the OP thinking, "Fucks sake, you even have to ASK??"