To not give a shit that she didn’t like her present?

[CardoMondo]

My sister is 13 years younger than me. She’s a brat, always has been. Completely helpless and spoilt to ridiculous levels. She’s 27 now and still treated like a child. She never gets me. Christmas or birthday present and only occasional makes me a card out of printer paper folded in half. I’m not bothered ... at least I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the expectation that I go out of my way for her.

One year I didn’t buy her a birthday present (but did get her a card which is more than she got me that year.) all hell broke lose and my mum kicked off saying I was out of order etc!!

So for Christmas this year I got her a calendar with dogs on it with all the money raised going to a dog rescue charity. She got me nothing.

Apparently she was upset my the present as dogs are “my” thing, not hers. I really don’t care one bit! I only bought it to support the charity and to say I’d got her “something”

AIBU

Does she work, maybe she's abit hard up and embarrassed to admit it.

It's a grim present to give anybody. Bug she got you nothing. Sounds like you're both as bad as each other.

How can the OP possibly be as bad as her sister when she's been buying her sister (thoughtful) gifts for years and her sister habitually gets her hee haw??

Honestly, I know she is terribly ungrateful, but you have to acknowledge your own part in this.
If you spoke to her and said you wouldn’t be gifting, just like she doesn’t to you, this situation wouldn’t happen.

Enabling her behaviour helps nobody.
Not saying it’s your fault, I’m just saying that you are partaking in something that makes you miserable, so why do it at all.

@HollyGenneroMcClane

Unfortunately I don’t have a sister, only the one (twat of a) brother! Life is so much simpler without him in it. Neither of us sends or expects cards or presents. It’s easier without mum alive though.

My DC hate him for the way he has treated us all over the years, they don’t need him in their life. I know there are many like him, the golden child/spoilt by parents.

I was messaging a relative yesterday who said she hadn’t received a card from him so she “must be on his naughty list”. I pointed out we’d been on his naughty list for years 🤣🤣 but it didn’t bother me and was a relief!

You can do what you like.
A gift is a gift.
But tell her your New Years resolution is too not do any presents

Have you ever tackled your sister and asked why she thinks is acceptable to kick off if you don't buy her something but it's ok for her to get you nothing?

Hahahahhahahahahha

@Ilovesandwiches

Hahahahhahahahahha

Oh I’m not very good at this I meant to quote a post that made me laugh You’re not being unreasonable at all op!

Next Xmas just tell just on the least up to Xmas you won’t be doing gifts from more on. What’s the point even trying if you aren’t going to try to find her something she likes and she’s isn’t going to appreciate anything you get.

It’s literally pointless and meaningless. So better to not do it at all.

One year I didn’t buy her a birthday present (but did get her a card which is more than she got me that year.) all hell broke lose and my mum kicked off saying I was out of order etc!

I've had this with my dad's birthday present. I replied, "Has my dad ever bought me a present?". Point made.

Jesus Christ why are you still buying for her? Who gives a shit if they kick off? Let them. She's a brat and your DM is just as bad for enabling it.

I'd stop giving her anything, tbh, and if it when your mother complains, I'd explain why ONCE, and afterwards either ignore it or give her a rote response of "we don't exchange gifts" or similar.

Cheeky of both of them to expect you to buy her gifts and get nothing in return when she's a grown woman!

And I'd tell her now that if she doesn't like the calendar, you're happy to keep it for yourself!

Yes to PP's suggestion that you say your new year's resolution is to cut back on unnecessary gift-giving.

Offer to swap it for what she got you. I’m sure the dog rescue charity appreciated you buying it anyway.

YABU to keep indulging this woman-child by buying her gifts while she gets you nothing. As for your mother, you tell her once, loud and clear that your sister is an adult who never bothers to get you a gift therefore you won't be getting her any.

I’d say “you never get me anything. Do you want to stop doing presents?”
And I’d tell your my. It’s not your job to buy a 27yo presents when she buys you nothing.
Honestly this is ridiculous

Horrible spoilt cow.

She'd get fuck all off me.

Mother dearest would get told too.

My favourite response is the "I didn't like your gift either, let's swap".

She sounds appalling, and your mother is a world-class enabler. I'd leave them both to it, in all honesty. Do you actually get anything out of the relationship with either of them?

I voted YABU because although your sister sounds like a nightmare it just seems churlish and passive aggressive to buy her a dog calendar when you know she’s a cat person because you want to donate to that charity. It would have been better to just not give her a gift than to give her something intentionally thoughtless, not sending anything would be reasonable but sending a gift you know will be badly received is at best petty and at worst spiteful.

How about something really childish (and cheap!)

I voted YABU for the same reasons as BillysMyBunny. Address this properly, not by being passive aggressive on Christmas day. The pair of you need to realise that you are adults and behave as such.

What does your mum say when you point out that she's got you nothing? What does she actually say?

YANBU!! Mines 10 years younger and still treated like a child even though she's in her 20s. Maybe the youngest never grows up in a parents head, which keeps them acting like idiots 😂😂

Quite honestly ,I would just roll up with a big tin of QS and say "Hi all hope you are all doing OK .Help yourselves! She is 27 FFS ! Even children give gifts back !

@DottyWott

Ok, next year I’ll get for you what you got for me this year

Spot on.