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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let dd use laughing gas at home?

76 replies

AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:02

DD is 17. She's in her room with some pals and I could hear a noise which sounded like gas being released (like when you fill your tires with air) and laughing. Suddenly it dawned on me that it must be laughing gas. I don't want to cause a scene for DD so texted her and asked her if it is and she said yes. I asked her to stop or I'll ask her friends to leave. She insists it's not as bad as alcohol. They've finished the canister anyway so it's a bit moot now but...

This laughing gas thing is completely new to me. Would you allow your DC to use it at home? Aware that she'll use it outside anyway whatever I say and safer to be at home (we are not in UK and live in Asia) but also don't want to appear to be approving of this!

OP posts:
Lollyneenah · 05/12/2020 12:05

Using laughing gas can paralysed young people- it's very very bad. Search on youtube

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:07

I'd vaguely heard things about young people doing this but first I realised DD was.
I'll need to do some research and then sit her down for a conversation.

OP posts:
stella1know · 05/12/2020 12:08

Didn’t know that. Maybe thats why they don’t use it on labour wards on the continent no gas and air, and I always wondered why, it is used as standard on english maternity wards.

LobsterRavioli · 05/12/2020 12:09

I did this at uni, as did a friend of mine.
Said friend fell, with being light headed and lost sight in one eye.

I've never touched it since.

Timeforabiscuit · 05/12/2020 12:10

Just to caveat what lollyneenah said.

It has risks, but NOWHERE NEAR what other drugs can have, think inhaling from helium balloons - yes you can suffocate with the gas sitting in your lung, however at home, with other trusted people and in small amounts - the risk is small.

But, the wider conversation of drugs need to be had, where do you stand on use in the home, what is acceptable behaviour, how transparent do you want conversation s to be.

In essence are you a not under my roof, or just equipping them to be as safe as you can?

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:13

Safety is number one priority but I think if you allow something to happen in the house then you are also giving it tacit approval.

Also there are other kids in there with her, I don't want to take responsibility for them - plus no idea what the laws are here with regards to this stuff so don't want to be liable for anything happening to other minors in our house.

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 05/12/2020 12:15

Also, new stories are often sensational, a good resource would be Talk to Frank website, they have good quality research and clear information.

Timeforabiscuit · 05/12/2020 12:18

Those are brilliant points to talk with your daughter about.

The laws around Novel Psychoactive Substances concern point of sale mainly - but they are confusing, and no, you don't want to be in a position of responsibility for minors while they experiment.

Littlegoth · 05/12/2020 12:34

If it does go horribly wrong you could find yourself at the wrong end of a police enquiry, as the responsible adult allowing drug use on your property. This is said without my judgement, just something to consider.

jelly79 · 05/12/2020 12:36

I think it's interesting that she has chosen to experiment without knowing anything about the risks and very blatantly in your house.

She seems either very naive or pretty hard faced.

Hope you can get her to see sense OP

VestaTilley · 05/12/2020 12:40

I would never allow this at all, and certainly not at home. Pretty sure it’s illegal in the UK.

It’s also quite bad for you, it’s not harmless fun. I’d have marched in there, thrown the friends out and thrown the gas stuff out of the window.

TheFirstMrsDV · 05/12/2020 12:47

It doesn't matter if its not as bad as alcohol. Its not as bad as smack or meth either.
Why on earth would anyone allow their child to do this at home?

Quisto · 05/12/2020 12:51

www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/cornwall-teenager-died-after-laughing-4400112
My son won't go near the stuff after this happened to someone he knew.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 05/12/2020 12:51

I work for a neurologist. He once saw a young mother (mid-20s, I think) with one or two small children. She had neurological symptoms and admitted to being a regular user of "laughing gas" - I think particularly most weekends as a party thing. Very unfortunately, on her MRI scan, it turned out she had spinal cord degeneration, thought to be due to low B12 caused by the laughing gas. It is irreversible. She was not happy with being told she needed to stop using laughing gas or face further spinal cord degeneration and she ignored all communications inviting her to come for follow-up thereafter. There is information from medical researchers on the net about this and there are ongoing studies as it has emerged in recent years as a problem.

murbblurb · 05/12/2020 12:53

no, tolerating saddo drug use (she needs to get a life) and a possible Darwin award is not the mark of good parenting.

in the UK it is illegal which means users support the filth of the drug trade. Some parts of Asia take a VERY dim view of drug use or supply.

give her hell. 'not as bad as alcohol' is a desperate excuse.

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:54

The point she made about the alcohol was because she is allowed (some) alcohol at home. So in her mind, if she's allowed alcohol, then why is this an issue? She clearly doesn't see this as being risky at all.

We live in a big Asian city. I don't want her doing stuff full stop but I also want her to be safe in a country that's not our own. That's why it's a balance between what she's allowed to do in the house and what she's not.

I need to find about the legal implications too as I have no idea if it's legal here or not. They have VERY strict drug laws with severe penalities involved.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 05/12/2020 12:55

Nothing really to add. Adverse health impacts but arguably less dangerous than other unlawful drugs. Wouldn't welcome DC using it.

Good luck.

BoJingle · 05/12/2020 12:56

I definitely wouldn't allow it at home. Having dabbled with various things in my 20s including laughing gas, I'd not be worried about the safety of it as such because there's risks in everything including alcohol.

I'd be more concerned that they'll go on at some point down the line to chase a better, bigger, longer lasting high.

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:56

"Give her hell" generally does not work with teens, it just means they'll hide it from you.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 05/12/2020 12:57

When you look at the legals, OP, you'd want to understand the legal risks for your DD when she or a friend is buying this outside your home, OP, as well as using it at home.

Bluetonic41 · 05/12/2020 12:58

Can't believe you are being so blasé about this, her friends need ejecting and she need a frank conversation plus some sort of punishment (phone removal or some such. If I knew one of my children's friends parents were allowing my child to do this in their house I would call the police on them.

Doyoumind · 05/12/2020 13:00

It is illegal to sell it for recreational use in the UK, though that's a fairly recent thing. They used to sell balloons in clubs. It isn't, however part of the drug trade. It is sold perfectly legally for use in cream canisters.

Winniewonka · 05/12/2020 13:00

I've noticed over the last couple of years, small silver canisters that are used for Soda Stream dispensers littering the streets. I couldn't think why they would be there until someone told me it's nitrous oxide or laughing gas.
If I live to be 100, I'll never figure out what goes on in people's minds that they would want to actively do this!

Quaagars · 05/12/2020 13:03

No chance.
YANBU