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Original poster

To not let dd use laughing gas at home?

76 replies

AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:02

DD is 17. She's in her room with some pals and I could hear a noise which sounded like gas being released (like when you fill your tires with air) and laughing. Suddenly it dawned on me that it must be laughing gas. I don't want to cause a scene for DD so texted her and asked her if it is and she said yes. I asked her to stop or I'll ask her friends to leave. She insists it's not as bad as alcohol. They've finished the canister anyway so it's a bit moot now but...

This laughing gas thing is completely new to me. Would you allow your DC to use it at home? Aware that she'll use it outside anyway whatever I say and safer to be at home (we are not in UK and live in Asia) but also don't want to appear to be approving of this!

OP posts:
babbaloushka · 05/12/2020 14:10

I think you've cultivated a good relationship to be able to discuss it openly, that's absolutely vital with teens, or, like you say, they'll just go behind your back with more risk. Tell her the consequences, but dont begrudge the fact that she clearly thinks of your home environment to be safe and is comfortable enough to experiment. Not many teens are that fortunate!

Peachy1381 · 05/12/2020 14:20

I wouldn't let her do it in the house but having done laughing gas a few times in my missspent youth I can confirm its not the end of the world.

HotDiggidy2017 · 05/12/2020 14:26

@jelly79

I think it's interesting that she has chosen to experiment without knowing anything about the risks and very blatantly in your house.

She seems either very naive or pretty hard faced.

Hope you can get her to see sense OP

This is a little harsh, she’s a teenager you can’t expect her to be acting as a fully grown adult. Also, even with full disclosure humans still choose to consume harmful drugs (alcohol, cigarettes!)

OP I think this is a really useful topic you’ve brought up. This gas was just getting popular when I was in my early twenties and I’ll admit I tried it once or twice but bear in mind that at the same party - in the same -room there were people consuming much stronger drugs (mdma, ketamine etc) and looking back I’m extremely glad I did the one and not the other!

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 05/12/2020 14:38

There are clearly those perfect teen parents on this thread.... who don’t have teenagers yet Grin

gwenneh · 05/12/2020 14:53

Certainly not. When I was small, one of our neighbours did die from it, he was the brother of one of my friends - looking back on it he must have been a very young teen at most - and that has stuck with me.

Suffocating doesn’t sound like a pleasant death.

Simarilion · 05/12/2020 15:06

There are real risks here: permanent nerve damage (which could happen any time - so you could use it with no problems for a while, then develop nerve damage), and the risk of death if you pass out whilst inhaling from a balloon, plus the legal risks which are specific to your country, and the risk of prosecution if you are found to be permitting illegal drug use in your home- you could be held responsible for harm that occurs to a friend of her's whilst on your property. I'd be very very wary about permitting minors to use illegal drugs in my home.

Tomnooktoldmeto · 05/12/2020 15:10

As someone living with life consequences of B12 deficiency some people on this thread have no idea

B12 deficiency is insidious, permanent damage occurs long before you know there’s a problem and long before the UK treats it compared with the rest of the world

I do have late teens, they are aware of my story and understand that nitrous oxide use is like playing Russian Roulette because you just don’t know if you’ve got an underlying condition that’s already causing a deficiency, in my case undiagnosed Coeliac disease but vegetarians and vegans are also at risk

Even surgery is risky, I can only have certain types of anaesthesia (TIVA) due to the permanent damage I already have

And heavy users do regularly die it’s not sensationalism at all

SimplySusanna · 05/12/2020 15:26

Imo your blasé attitude to this is what's most likely to rub off on her.

Didn't want to make a scene? I'd have been in there at 100mph confiscating it all and kicking the friends out, before having a very serious chat.

I also absolutely detest the 'they'll do it anyway so at least they're safer at home' justification. It's a total cop out and an excuse to abdicate responsibility imo. Ive seen it said for all sorts of things from drugs to alcohol to letting your 13 year old have sex.

There has to be a line where you let your dc know xyz is totally and completely unacceptable, at home or elsewhere. Where you draw that line is debatable but for me it would definitely include laughing gas or drug use of ANY kind.

overoptimism · 05/12/2020 15:44

having done laughing gas a few times in my missspent youth I can confirm its not the end of the world

Oh, go and inform yourself.

Holothane · 05/12/2020 15:45

It can kill, which is why dentists stopped using it, what is wrong with people, we’ve gone back 200 years in time this was a craze them among the richer classes,

5zeds · 05/12/2020 16:11

@AnnieFrecha yes I have lots of teenagers but possibly not ones that would need texting (ffs) to stop “doing laughing gas” with their friends in my home. I also have spent decades in the Far East. Stop giving yourself excuses and face up to the situation. It may be different if you are “local” but if you are expat I would be very very vigilant there is an aggressive recruitment of young silly expats into this scene and the results are heartbreaking.

ktp100 · 05/12/2020 16:31

You need to educate your daughter asap on the very real dangers of laughing gas and the potentially deadly effects of peer pressure.

I had a friend who went blind for a few days after sniffing gas when we were at school. She was so lucky to get it back.

CherryRipe1 · 05/12/2020 16:31

The whippet bulbs are food grade N2o and apart from being dangerous to use at the time as posted previously, can cause long term lung damage from inhaling the impurities in them. Medical grade N2o for medical use eg childbirth etc is pure, in a 50/50 mix with oxygen & that is Entinox. There is also an industrial grade with even more impurities.

MatildaTheCat · 05/12/2020 16:38

Are you ex pats on a working visa? I know that my brother who is in an Asian country had to be extremely clear with his teens that getting caught by the police on a drugs offence (even non controlled drugs) would result in being invited to leave the country within seven days.

Frenchdressing · 05/12/2020 16:42

@EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide

I think I'd be having strong words with her. She's taking the piss to be doing that in your house without your knowledge. What next?
My first thoughts too tbh
Macncheeseballs · 05/12/2020 17:00

Ask to do it with them, suddenly it might lose its appeal!

BefuddledPerson · 05/12/2020 17:06

I would not allow this in my home, no. I would have sent the other people home.

bobbiester · 05/12/2020 17:06

@CherryRipe1

The whippet bulbs are food grade N2o and apart from being dangerous to use at the time as posted previously, can cause long term lung damage from inhaling the impurities in them. Medical grade N2o for medical use eg childbirth etc is pure, in a 50/50 mix with oxygen & that is Entinox. There is also an industrial grade with even more impurities.
This is the important point - when people use nitrous oxide recreationally they risk becoming hypoxic (due to lack of oxygen).

When you have it in medical context you have it with extra oxygen which protects against this.

PrivateD00r · 05/12/2020 17:22

@stella1know

Didn’t know that. Maybe thats why they don’t use it on labour wards on the continent no gas and air, and I always wondered why, it is used as standard on english maternity wards.
It is mixed 50/50 with oxygen for medicinal use so it is safe, though not so safe for the midwives in the room unless there is a decent excavation system in use (longterm exposure is harmful)
PrivateD00r · 05/12/2020 17:29

OP nitrous oxide has really nasty consequences including fertility problems, permanent B12 deficiency, neurological disorders and even death. I would be distraught if my DC used it, I have had a good talk with them about the risks so I am hoping they will steer clear. I would suggest you stop calling it laughing gas for a start (it isn't laughing gas, laughing gas is mixed with oxygen), that might help dd take it a bit more seriously. Because this is serious op.

copperoliver · 05/12/2020 17:32

My friends daughters best friend died from using laughing gas, so it is a very dangerous thing. X

BrigitsBigKnickers · 05/12/2020 17:38

One of my daughter's friend's brother died in the summer after inhaling this.

He was 15...

BiBabbles · 05/12/2020 17:46

Alongside talktofrank, there are harm reduction resources. I recommend The Drug Classroom's video on . Discuss the positives she gets from it, how she would handle the potential risks, and the boundaries you decide to put in place on it.

Discussion and education are important, it's part of the core of harm reduction, but talking has very little impact on behavioural change without environmental boundaries. I have teens, one who has been stronger than me for years, I still have firm boundaries on doors being open when guests are over before getting to our list when it comes to drinking or any other drug use. My not being psychic doesn't mean I shouldn't set a high standard of behaviour or make something dangerous easier in my home.

If you allow her to drink in her room behind closed door with her friends without telling you as she did here with the laughing gas, yeah, it's going to be a bit more difficult to put in a boundary here without adjusting that too, but it's doable. Parents having the attitude that they can just talk about these things is why I spent way too much of my teen years caring for intoxicated siblings and friends who all had this idea somehow that if they did it at a friends house rather than a park they'd be safe, but had fuckall idea of what to do when something goes wrong.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 05/12/2020 21:27

I did it a few times in my 20s. Tried lots of other things too. Whilst I agree its dangerous and I'm lucky to have no lasting damage from my misspent youth the temptation to experiment with friends is real and strong. A zero tolerance approach from parents isn't always helpful. Lots of good advice on this thread about arming yourself with the facts around health and legality, and the conversation needs to be had. But you know your daughter and you need to help her reach good decisions on her own, not lay down the law, because we learn very little by being shouted at and banned from stuff.

5zeds · 05/12/2020 21:41

Has anyone suggested shouting at her?