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Original poster

To not let dd use laughing gas at home?

76 replies

AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 12:02

DD is 17. She's in her room with some pals and I could hear a noise which sounded like gas being released (like when you fill your tires with air) and laughing. Suddenly it dawned on me that it must be laughing gas. I don't want to cause a scene for DD so texted her and asked her if it is and she said yes. I asked her to stop or I'll ask her friends to leave. She insists it's not as bad as alcohol. They've finished the canister anyway so it's a bit moot now but...

This laughing gas thing is completely new to me. Would you allow your DC to use it at home? Aware that she'll use it outside anyway whatever I say and safer to be at home (we are not in UK and live in Asia) but also don't want to appear to be approving of this!

OP posts:
Parkermumma07 · 05/12/2020 13:05

It’s not illegal to possess them but it is to supply so whoever bought them to your house has committed an offence and is liable to be arrested. Supply can just mean giving to a friend / sharing them

JamesMoriarty · 05/12/2020 13:08

I've heard about the connection to low b12 so no, I wouldn't allow it.

IEat · 05/12/2020 13:08

I'd cause a scene they'd never forget. Along with a very long lecture and Google images of the side effects/death that can occur.

5zeds · 05/12/2020 13:09

Say “no” and mean it. You are her PARENT.

TurquoiseDress · 05/12/2020 13:10

For me, I don't agree with allowing her to do this at home with her friends.

If you're ok with her indulging in other recreational drugs at homes eg cannabis then I guess crack on

As far as I know nitrous oxide/laughing gas is not legal for recreational use....unless someone else knows?

Gas & air is different as it's used in childbirth/other situations with severe pain eg bone fracture

On the point of alcohol- this is legal.
Yes we can debate the points about which thing can cause more harm but at the end of the day you are condoning illegal drug use in your home.

I do agree with the above re getting her to look at drug websites like Frank

BiBabbles · 05/12/2020 13:11

I agree that just because alcohol is allowed doesn't mean the other should be, but trying to think of how to convince a 17-year-old beyond the news stories and legalities already mentioned: What are the rules you have around drinking alcohol at home? Is she allowed to have it up in her room with her friends unsupervised and without mentioning it to you or is it something you have to be involved with either buying or having it with a meal or with you supervising? Depending on how you've set it up, you can make a similar framework which would be off-putting enough to not do it again (many things are less fun with a parent around).

It is worrying. My spouse works in hotels and so many of the catering canisters of the stuff get left behind in the car park and in rooms.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 05/12/2020 13:11

It’s the other kids I’d be thinking about - it’s a pretty low risk illegal activity but it is illegal and there is some risk. I think other parents mighty have an issue if your house becomes a place where they can do gas.
Personally I think drugs should be legalised and regulated. At he very least: MDMA lsd gas and marijuana ... but that’s a point of discussion and debate not something i would just ‘do’ at home.

TurquoiseDress · 05/12/2020 13:12

Just read the bit about you not being in the UK- if it's a big Asian city I would presume drug laws are much harsher than over here!

Tomorrowistomorrow · 05/12/2020 13:18

I wouldn't allow it.

www.talktofrank.com/drug/nitrous-oxide#the-risks

If fact at 17 I would be having a long chat over not only drugs, but using your common sense -a bedroom is an enclosed space. Covid etc -not the best idea any ways for them to be in bedroom with the door shut.

It's also about respecting your home etc. Should one of her friends become ill -it falls on you as the adult to be responsible.

Dyno · 05/12/2020 13:19

It would be a "no" from me - whoever she is buying the laughing gas from is likely selling other substances too - do you want her, or her friends, mixing with those types of people?

If you are in Singapore then I really do feel for you OP.

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 13:19

Hmmm, having looked things up, this is certainly not something DD should be using and from my brief interaction with her I doubt she's aware of the risks. I mentioned to her that it's a drug and she was surprised I'd called it that. She also thinks it's legal here but I've looked it up and it's considered a controlled substance so not legal (although not a narcotic so not under the draconian drugs laws). This means that anyone who is selling it could be selling anything really since there will be no regulation.

I don't think DD realises at all the risks involved and I'll have a serious conversation with her about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 13:20

Thankfully we have practically no Covid at all where we are so at least that's one less thing to worry about!

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 05/12/2020 13:25

Comparison with alcohol is not helpful, as alcohols affects are well understood, it's position in society has clear boundaries on use.

She still has a developing adolescent brain, that means she isn't quite there with decision making, consequences and risk. This is why substance use is typically reserved for adults.

Not knowing the local penalties for possession or use is would raise massive alarm bells, as it sounds like she literally isn't thinking!

As to handle the conversation with her, how is communication generally?

Needmoresleep · 05/12/2020 13:27

Are you in Singapore? (Or Malaysia.) If so just don’t. Certainly unless you are completely sure of the legal situation.

Neither country would want to be seen letting foreigners off the hook whilst clamping down on their own citizens.

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 13:27

@5zeds

Say “no” and mean it. You are her PARENT.
Do you have any teens? A 17 year old will do pretty much what they want - you just won't know about it. I can forbid it in the house but it's not just about saying no. It's about having a mature conversation so that DD is less likely to do it outside the house either and, indeed, when she goes off to uni. I don't want her to do it inside or outside the house, I want her to be safe and being authoritarian doesn't achieve that. This is what I know as her PARENT.
OP posts:
Coyoacan · 05/12/2020 13:32

Do you talk to your dd about the different effects and dangers of drugs, OP?

I just laid out everything I knew about each drug to my dd, without exaggerating the dangers or minimizing the probable pleasures and tried to encourage her to know how to let her hair down without needing to take a chemical to lose her inhibitions.

At seventeen, you can say that she cannot take or supply her friends with drugs in your house, but she is nearly an adult and she will need to know how to make her own decisions very shortly.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 05/12/2020 13:33

I think I'd be having strong words with her. She's taking the piss to be doing that in your house without your knowledge. What next?

Crinkle77 · 05/12/2020 13:33

@jelly79

I think it's interesting that she has chosen to experiment without knowing anything about the risks and very blatantly in your house.

She seems either very naive or pretty hard faced.

Hope you can get her to see sense OP

Perhaps she does know the risks but doesn't care? Everyone knows the risks of smoking, drinking, drugs etc...but people still do it cos they think the buzz is worth taking the risk.
VanCleefArpels · 05/12/2020 13:35

As well as the other points raised here - are you expats? Might Visas be impacted in the event of any police attention? For any of the other friends? This could be the pebble in the pond, with much wider consequences that teenagers are just too self focussed / ignorant to consider. I’d be giving her a rocket for this activity

wimhoffbreather · 05/12/2020 13:36

@5zeds

Say “no” and mean it. You are her PARENT.
Yes because teenagers just do everything you say right? 😂😂😂😂
overoptimism · 05/12/2020 13:45

You clearly are a parent with little control.

If your approach was working your daughter would have known to check with you first before doing this in the family home.

Original poster
AnnieFrecha · 05/12/2020 13:49

@overoptimism

You clearly are a parent with little control.

If your approach was working your daughter would have known to check with you first before doing this in the family home.

Maybe. But at least i'm not a judgemental arsehole. Swings and roudnabouts.
OP posts:
shreddednips · 05/12/2020 14:01

I think a lot of people (not meaning you OP) are really blasé about the risks of laughing gas and many don't see it as an actual drug. My DH barely drinks and has never smoked or taken any other drugs, but took loads of laughing gas before I met him. He was really surprised that I was surprised he took it and saw it as completely harmless. He stopped when I watched him take some at a party and went blue around the lips and was twitching. I found it really disturbing and he had no idea it had that effect on him, all he was aware of was laughing a lot.

Your daughter shouldn't be doing it in your house, but perhaps she doesn't realise that it's illegal or potentially dangerous. Having a serious conversation with her, get her to look at a resource like Talk to Frank and make it really clear that you won't accept her doing it in your home. It might be worth seeing if you can find out what the laws are where you live, that would be the part that would worry me the most.

I don't think it's fair that some PP's are saying you are lax. She is 17 and you can't realistically control everything she does.

overoptimism · 05/12/2020 14:07

Ah, now I understand better why your child has no boundaries.

Ginfordinner · 05/12/2020 14:08

I think you need to talk to her about the wider implications, especially if drug laws are stricter where you are. Could it result in you being asked to leave the country? What if the parents of the other teenagers find out and report you?

www.talktofrank.com/