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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say she has missed a real opportunity ?

94 replies

PinkAndFabulous · 16/10/2020 13:54

Niece got made redundant recently. Been in the job many years and was devastated. She also has a chronic illness and diagnosed with a second over lockdown but still not being properly treated for it. A job came up in her field which offered ad hoc and zero hours and was very near to her home. Its ideal for her. She wasn't overally enthralled when I sent her the link but did apply. She got asked to fill in an application form by the company meaning she most likely was close to getting the job but was put off by the health declaration especially as she was asked if she had any ongoing health problems. Long story short, she emailed the company to say she didn't think she should take the application further because of her health. Aibu to not know why she did this especially as most companies would have supported her as they should be doing?

OP posts:
Marisishidinginmyattic · 16/10/2020 13:56

most companies would have supported her as they should be doing

Hahahahhahahha

Twistered · 16/10/2020 13:57

It's actually none of your business

jessstan1 · 16/10/2020 13:59

Ask her why she did it.

I think she knew the job wasn't right for her.

TOFO1965 · 16/10/2020 14:00

@Marisishidinginmyattic

most companies would have supported her as they should be doing

Hahahahhahahha

This!
Twistered · 16/10/2020 14:01

Getting sent an application form by a company means nothing by the way 😂
It certainly does not mean she was close to getting the job

Who are you to decide what is an ideal job for your friend! Maybe keep your judgy nose right out of her business and don't send her any more unwanted links to jobs you deem are ideal.

Also ... Companies don't always provide this support you are referring to.
Just keep out of it for god's sake

dottycharlotti · 16/10/2020 14:02

She probably didn't, she probably didn't want the job - she told you that as a "mind your own business, I can sort my own life out thanks Aunty Pink"

Sparklesocks · 16/10/2020 14:03

I understand you care for her not really your place, she can make her own judgement and choices even if they might not seem right from the outside. Also it can be really challenging working with chronic health issues, there’s more to consider when taking on a new role than for people without those needs.

ChaChaCha2012 · 16/10/2020 14:03

Are you aware of how common disability discrimination is?

Amigoingmad29weeks · 16/10/2020 14:03

If she's still not being treated fully for her new health problem perhaps she feels age needs to focus on herself rather than a new job which will be challenging and take alot even if a role she has done elsewhere. Also ad hoc work and fitting around hospital appointments does not generally slot together as easily as you think.
Also, as far as reasonable adjustments go, it is not a given and definitely not as simple as you make out. There is a system to work through with occupational health that can be pretty upsetting, especially with a new diagnosis that she may not have come to terms with yet, and won't necessarily gain her the support she would want.
YOU may think it is ideal for her. SHE clearly does not.

OhCaptain · 16/10/2020 14:04

most companies would have supported her as they should be doing?

Are you taking the piss??

Going out on a limb and saying your niece might have a better insight into her own life and experiences with chronic illness than you do...

RaspberryToupee · 16/10/2020 14:04

What she does with her job and her health is her own concern.

People with chronic health conditions do have anxiety about their work, how employers will support them and if they will be understanding. My friend put up with a lot of shit from old employer because she has a chronic health condition and took a lot of sick. She found a new job when she was made redundant.

Aside from the anxieties her condition cause her about working, if she’s recently been diagnosed with a secondary condition then she may not be in the right head space to put an application in. If successful, might not be in the right head space to meet new colleagues, learn new systems.

movingonup20 · 16/10/2020 14:06

Being sent the application form means nothing, I sent it to everyone who asked/sent a cv. If the health issues would impact her ability to work or meant she would need significant time off for appointments she would have to declare and yes she would be unlikely to be took on unless she was the only stand out candidate. Companies (well decent ones) do support their staff but this doesn't extend to taking on people who's health will impact their work after reasonable adaptations are made

DrivingMo · 16/10/2020 14:07

This is nothing to do with you.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 16/10/2020 14:07

You sounds completely clueless. Be careful you don't offend your relative with your ignorance.

Brunt0n · 16/10/2020 14:07

You sound clueless

Original poster
PinkAndFabulous · 16/10/2020 15:57

Of course she can do what she wants but if a job which is-

  1. Close to her home
  2. Adhoc hours
  3. Urgently recruiting
Then I think she is mad not to. I know it's harder for people with chronic illnesses to get work, I started a thread on it recently, but this would have been ideal for her. She does have numerous appointments by phone this year and most likely other tests but I do think this would have been ideal for her. Of course, none of my business, just don't understand it and do feel she is letting her illnesses have too much of an impact when many employers would make adjustments if they could see she was a good candidate.
OP posts:
OhCaptain · 16/10/2020 16:01

Of course, none of my business, just don't understand it and do feel she is letting her illnesses have too much of an impact

Well it’s a good thing it’s none of your fucking business then isn’t it?!

What a “caring” (read interfering and judgmental) aunt you are.

Leave her alone ffs! I can absolutely promise you that your brand of caring is not a brand she wants or needs...

AnnaFour · 16/10/2020 16:05

How long ago was she actually made redundant? Why are you so invested in her applying for the jobs you think are right for her? Don't you think she is better placed to make those decisions for herself?

AnnaFour · 16/10/2020 16:07

Also, why would you think filling in an application form means someone is close to getting a job? It just means you are applying for it. Unless this was some further application form - which sounds very unusual.

Marisishidinginmyattic · 16/10/2020 16:29

many employers would make adjustments if they could see she was a good candidate.

Hahahahahahah!

Do you have any experience of applying for jobs with a disability?

SageRosemary · 16/10/2020 16:42

Also, why would you think filling in an application form means someone is close to getting a job? It just means you are applying for it. Unless this was some further application form - which sounds very unusual.

Actually, I worked for a company that would request applicants to submit CVs (a good place to start weeding out those with spelling and grammar difficulties as these skills would be essential in the job), then have an interview process. If a manager thought the candidate was a good fit and would like to employ that person, the candidate would then be invited to fill in an application form. As well as the usual personal/educational/work experience information there would be a medical section not unlike what you might encounter on an application for life/illness insurance. If the candidate looked good on the application form then the candidate might also be asked to attend for a medical examination to assess their health before actually being offered a contract. Job offered excellent benefits (sick pay/life insurance etc) so this process no doubt kept the benefit underwriters happy too

user128472578267 · 16/10/2020 16:58

many employers would make adjustments if they could see she was a good candidate

Nope. They really wouldn't. Disability protections do not exist in reality, despite what is written in law.

Onairjunkie · 16/10/2020 17:13

Jesus, you’re pushy. If she’s being diagnosed with chronic illnesses left, right and centre, I can’t quite see that she needs you nagging her about a job that you’ve decided is perfect for her because you’ve decided she’s letting her health get in the way...

Leaannb · 16/10/2020 17:13

@PinkAndFabulous

Of course she can do what she wants but if a job which is-
  1. Close to her home
  2. Adhoc hours
  3. Urgently recruiting
Then I think she is mad not to. I know it's harder for people with chronic illnesses to get work, I started a thread on it recently, but this would have been ideal for her. She does have numerous appointments by phone this year and most likely other tests but I do think this would have been ideal for her. Of course, none of my business, just don't understand it and do feel she is letting her illnesses have too much of an impact when many employers would make adjustments if they could see she was a good candidate.
Many employers would not make adjustments for a brand new employee. They would just move along yo the next best applicant
smalalalalalala · 16/10/2020 17:14

Because an employer who recruits with 0 hours contract will take the time and budget to support their employees...

0 hours contract employees are very expandable for employers who use them and I can understand she doesn't need the stress of this type of contract.

I don't think you understand the reality of the job market nowadays, particularly in 2020