To say she has missed a real opportunity ?

[PinkAndFabulous]

Niece got made redundant recently. Been in the job many years and was devastated. She also has a chronic illness and diagnosed with a second over lockdown but still not being properly treated for it. A job came up in her field which offered ad hoc and zero hours and was very near to her home. Its ideal for her. She wasn't overally enthralled when I sent her the link but did apply. She got asked to fill in an application form by the company meaning she most likely was close to getting the job but was put off by the health declaration especially as she was asked if she had any ongoing health problems. Long story short, she emailed the company to say she didn't think she should take the application further because of her health. Aibu to not know why she did this especially as most companies would have supported her as they should be doing?

Does your niece have a cousin called Bertie Wooster by any chance? Is your name Agatha or Dahlia?

Methinks you are a tad over-invested.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4042210-To-be-concerned-about-employee

You sound so young and naive for someone with an adult niece. I wish I still was.

People have said the same thing about me and my chronic illness. It’s as if they think I chose to run out of energy and collapse. That I choose not to be able to do the normal mum things, not be able to walk any distance, often struggling to make food for my dd. That I choose to suddenly be unable to speak or move at all. At 3 when I first became so ill, dd was foraging in the fridge and eating vast quantities of yoghurt.

You are rude, unkind and clueless.

I was diagnosed with something chronic and it took months and months for me to get my head round it anD to get the confidence back to apply for something a lot lesser than I was used to.
You can feel overwhelmed, a failure, incapable, as if it’s your fault, anxious, alone..it’s an awfUl lot to process and worse you are expected to be all brave and Deal with feeling crap, going to frightening appointments where you see endless seriously ill people and having endless needles jabbed into you and endless to oing and fro oing To hospital and waiting rooms. Some of her friends won’t be able to cope And will vanish leaving her feeling more dreadful.

I think if you have never been through this it’s impossible to imagine. On top of this I was nagged at for not getting a proper job. Which added to sense of failure and led to severe depression..so please, let up. Her life has changed suddenly and irrevocably and she now needs you to be there, listening, taking her nice little treats, holding her hand, going to appointments. She will get work when she is ready, and she will be ready quicker with a lot of support and understanding. It may be worth finding a forum that is for what she has and reading / asking for advice. You will find help in unexpected places!
Good luck to you both

leave her be op

Also what’s with the posts other mns have uncovered? It’s almost as if you are doing some sort of research..I hope you are not abusing the trust of very caring mns.

You’re trying to help her, I can see that. However, you can’t help her by making life choices on her behalf then feeling disappointed or irritated that she hasn’t complied.

@Treatedlikeamaid

I was diagnosed with something chronic and it took months and months for me to get my head round it anD to get the confidence back to apply for something a lot lesser than I was used to. You can feel overwhelmed, a failure, incapable, as if it’s your fault, anxious, alone..it’s an awfUl lot to process and worse you are expected to be all brave and Deal with feeling crap, going to frightening appointments where you see endless seriously ill people and having endless needles jabbed into you and endless to oing and fro oing To hospital and waiting rooms. Some of her friends won’t be able to cope And will vanish leaving her feeling more dreadful.

I think if you have never been through this it’s impossible to imagine. On top of this I was nagged at for not getting a proper job. Which added to sense of failure and led to severe depression..so please, let up. Her life has changed suddenly and irrevocably and she now needs you to be there, listening, taking her nice little treats, holding her hand, going to appointments. She will get work when she is ready, and she will be ready quicker with a lot of support and understanding. It may be worth finding a forum that is for what she has and reading / asking for advice. You will find help in unexpected places!
Good luck to you both

Absolutely this. I can speak from personal experience. 1 chronic illness that you swear will never stop you or impact your life until you realise it's at the point where you can't work - this destroys you and takes a lot of readjustment and acceptance and leaves your confidence in pieces for all areas of your life. Then redundancy which is a further blow to your confidence. She has been in that job for a long time so again may have less confidence going into a new situation. Then a recent 2nd diagnosis which she has to get her head around and sort out the right treatment. Plus the pandemic and a bereavement. She needs time to focus on herself and her treatment and any pressure that can be taken off her re work the better. She needs to build her confidence back up with the little every day things like getting up, showering, housework, looking after the kids. This is the first step.

[quote FenellaVelour]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4042210-To-be-concerned-about-employee[/quote]
Well spotted.

This OP won't be back. I hope enough people have read these other posts to be careful now if/when they return under a different name to continue with whatever game they are up to.

Am with you JK, very very sound advice x
Well done dumpling and co. Am extremely fed up with idiots abusing mns trust.
OP if you are reading this, as I’m sure you are, It would be very much appreciated if you could explain what your purpose is. I’m sure people will help If you are straight. there is no need to Abuse and disrespect all the incredibly Genuine, supportive and helpful people on here. What are you looking for really?

Perhaps she doesn't feel physically or emotionally able at the moment. No idea what her health problems are, but maybe she's struggling to come to terms with this second diagnosis, or maybe just getting through every day is a struggle right now?

She obviously suspected that she wouldn't get the job due to her illness, so didn't see the point of filling in the forms in the first place. Also, she may not have wanted the rejection!

Guys OP won’t be back.

She keeps posting threads about various (fictitious) friends and relatives with chronic illnesses.

OP why have posted so many threads each with a different version of this?
What is it you are after?
If you are playing us all for fools .... Why would you do that over the last few weeks?

It’s a nice thought that a company with a lots of applicants might pick out the one who might cause them the most problems, so that they can accommodate their health issues, but the reality is that most companies will look and see who is going to cause the least problems, do their job, and not have lots of time of sick. Atm, companies are struggling just to keep afloat - why would they invite more difficulties for themselves??

You really haven’t got a clue about chronic illness and or disability.

Wind your neck in.

Yes, very odd to suddenly add in that ‘oh a colleague died as well’.

Well you were right oh capitatin! Well done ladies