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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I too old at 39 for pregnancy ?

65 replies

Amara81 · 24/02/2020 07:41

I have a son almost 8 years now in new relationship for 6 years really want done to have a sibling but left it so late scared of complicated pregnancy now that I’m older. Not had period for a long time due to pills any pills that can help , clinic I’ve heard from Gp may help. A little scared about issues this time round ..

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 24/02/2020 07:45

No. I know several women who’ve had babies well into their 40s. Of course complications are more likely but I believe you may not even yet be old enough to be high risk just because of your age.

Deanetta · 24/02/2020 07:49

I had my first baby at 40, three months ago. Yes there were complications but mainly related to my other issues (weight, high blood pressure) than my age, and nothing that the midwives couldn’t handle. I now have a happy and healthy three month old baby (who has just slept through the night, woohoo!)

Wiaa · 24/02/2020 07:55

I had my first at 40 and my second at 43 had no issues through either pregnancy worked till 8mths with both.

ManyShades · 24/02/2020 08:03

39 is not too old

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 24/02/2020 08:05

I had my second at 38. Just be prepared that it can be more difficult to get pregnant.

grudieabbey · 24/02/2020 08:07

Nope! I have many siblings and the youngest there is a 7 years gap and my mother was 40 when she had her. No issues with pregnancy as far as I can remember (and I was older so aware) and no issue with age gap really (except when awkwardly 14 and a 4 year old is harassing your friends when you’re trying to look cool).

Go for it. My friend was 42 when she had her first and she’s not regretted it.

Candyapple49 · 24/02/2020 08:09

Had my youngest at 40 . 15 year age gap between siblings and I feel better than ever . You will probably be consultant led to keep an extra eye on you and the baby , but that is not a bad thing .

Gobbycop · 24/02/2020 08:12

No,

My other half gave birth to a beautiful boy 10 weeks ago.
She turned 40 during the pregnancy.

All the best.

FriedasCarLoad · 24/02/2020 08:12

I'm 39 and pregnant - it's going OK. I was 38 when I had my first, and it was all fine. Some risks are higher, but they're still low overall.

Gobbycop · 24/02/2020 08:13

He's our first by the way.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 24/02/2020 08:15

There are no guarantees but I know so many people who had babies around 40. I know 3 people who had babies at 44/45. All are fine.

jadey0885 · 24/02/2020 08:16

@Amara81
I would say go for it my lovely. Speak with GP about everything and I'm sure they will be there every step of the way ❤️

How does your partner feel about a baby?

ineedaholidaynow · 24/02/2020 08:20

How old is your partner?

burntpinky · 24/02/2020 08:24

No, I had my first a week before I turned 40 and now trying for number 2 (am 41)

kingkuta · 24/02/2020 08:27

Had dd at 39, no complications at all

Raindancer411 · 24/02/2020 08:37

I also have a nearly 8 year old and am expecting again at 38 (baby due literally before my 39th birthday!)

ShriekingBansheela · 24/02/2020 08:42

Have a baby because you want another child for its own sake, not to provide a sibling.

If it is your dearest wish to have another child and you have the financial, emotional and time capacity to meet its needs, go ahead and good luck! Smile

Fairylea · 24/02/2020 08:47

If your health is good then go for it - for me personally the thought of having another at 39 (I’m 39) fills me with dread but that’s probably because I suffer with a lot of autoimmune conditions and I’m shattered all the time as it is!

If you’ve been off the pill for a while and haven’t had a period get your prolactin and oestrogen levels checked.

crazydiamond222 · 24/02/2020 08:47

I had my second at 39 with a 9 year age gap. No problems at all during pregnancy and had a very quick and uncomplicated home birth.

flower1994 · 24/02/2020 08:58

why have you got so many yabu??? I think go for it - my mum had my 9 year old sister at 39 and my 7 year old sister at 41. the 7 year old is the smartest in her class (according to her teacher) and she is very close to over taking the 9 year old at reading level. I acknowledge there are some more risks then in your 20s or early 30s, however I also know people in their 20s who have had problems. I myself had a miscarriage 2 years ago at 23...always a risk. do what makes you happy

Marcipex · 24/02/2020 09:06

YANBU to worry but it’s not too old at all.

curlsnotfrizz · 24/02/2020 09:17

I think your reason for wanting another child is ridiculous. You don't have a baby just because your other child wants a sibling.

You are old (fertility wise) so it may take a while to conceive, add in 9 months of pregnancy and your child could easily 10 or 11 by the time a baby arrives (if at all). I doubt the excitement about the new arrival would last and it is a huge age gap for developing a strong sibling bond. not saying it is not possible but from experience, I don't know many, well any, close siblings who are a decade apart.

gamerwidow · 24/02/2020 09:20

39 is not an unusual age to have a baby any more but whether you are too old really depends on you, how fit you are and how well you’d adapt to the sleepless nights and physical demands of looking after a baby.

kingkuta · 24/02/2020 09:27

I think your reason for wanting another child is ridiculous

Really? Consideration of giving your child a sibling is one of the main reasons for having further children and a perfectly valid one. I hear the 'didn't want dd/ds to be an only child' reason more often or not when friends/family announce their pregnancies
Not something I have done but very common nevertheless

Waveysnail · 24/02/2020 09:33

Not too old but I if reason is a sibling then i wouldnt. With age gap that big it will be the same as having two only children.