Am I too old at 39 for pregnancy ?

[Amara81]

I have a son almost 8 years now in new relationship for 6 years really want done to have a sibling but left it so late scared of complicated pregnancy now that I’m older. Not had period for a long time due to pills any pills that can help , clinic I’ve heard from Gp may help. A little scared about issues this time round ..

39 is not old!

Your health and level of fitness are a lot more relevant. If you are healthy and active, you are in a much better position than an unhealthy 20 year old smoker....

And the dynamic of siblings vary from family to family. I can think of quite a few siblings with a 10 year gap, they are VERY close, much closer than some who were born 2 or 3 years apart.

I bloody hope not. I'm 37 and about to speak to my gynaecologist about having a second round of fertility treatment. (Had DS after 4 years of ttc at the age of 34.)

I'm very nearly 39, and I feel too old. But I have had three babies in the last 7 years and it's taken its toll. If I only had one I'd have another at this age.

I had my 4th at 39, 12 year gap between 3 and 4. Had the easiest pregnancy but getting pregnant not so easy, if I were you I would make your mind up quick and crack on with it. Obviously not everyone has problems conceiving at that age but the decline in the quality of eggs can be a factor.

Of course it's not too old. I had my last child at 37, sailed through pregnancy whilst working full time and had a home birth very efficiently on a day my husband and I thought was convenient. I'm 42 and pregnant again. This time is much harder. I'm now high risk, having appointments left right and centre and I'm totally knackered. I'm still not too old though - it's just a bit harder. My other children are all very excited. We have enough money to be able to provide a brilliant life for all of our kids (this is no 5) and I feel very lucky that we have been blessed. I didn't get pregnant intentionally (one lapse of judgment!) so it won't necessarily be difficult for you.

I have 2 children ages 11 and 5..
I lost 2 babies in between them and now I have trouble conceiving but if you are a person who conceives quick then go ahead x

I've just had a baby at 39. It was a tough pregnancy compared with my others and I got gestational diabetes this time. It was worth it though.

I had my two at 37 and 40 (six weeks off my 41st birthday). Got pregnant easily and pregnancy was absolutely fine both times. Morning sickness but nothing else. Was still walking dc1 the 3 mile roundtrip to preschool right up until the day before I went into labour.

Both were emergency sections but not because of my age (I have a sub optimal pelvis and dh's family all have giant heads). I bounced back both times physically as well. No need for pain killers after theatre, up and dressed within 7 hours of surgery with both and back doing that 3 mile preschool round trip by the end of my 2nd week post partum with dc2.

Both the consultant who delivered dc2 and the community midwife thought I'd be back with number 3. They offered me extra scans because I was over 40 but other than that, there were no references to my age and when I brought it up, the consultant laughed and said it wasn't relevant.

I had my first at 37 and my second at 41. First took 10 years to conceive, second was in 1 month of trying. You're not too old at all if it's what you want to do.

why have you got so many yabu???

Because I don’t think it’s clear what YABU and YANBU represent in this case. If she thinks 39 is too old she’s BU, if she thinks it isn’t she’s NBU but she’s basically canvassing opinion so it’s not clear which option you pick to vote that 39 is not too old and that if you’re in a stable relationship, you’re financially secure, you really want the child etc you should go for it.

Had mine at 43, glorious pregnancy, no issues. Every person is different, every pregnancy is different.

My mum Had my sister at 39. No complications worked until the day before she had her.
I'm. Nr 37 and just had my 3rd.. Only thing is I'm more tirwd but that's also due to having a 2 Yr old who thinks she don't need sleep and runs around more than the duracell bunny.!

I don't think you're too old, but with what will be at least a nine-year age gap, I don't think the sibling relationship will perhaps be quite what you envisage.

I gave birth to my third at just turned 40. I was a bit tired (having a 3 and 1 year old while pregnant at 39 was tiring and certainly confirmed, not that confirmation was needed, that there would be no more) but apart from that it was all absolutely fine.

Wrt the age gap, my closest sister is 7 years older than me. I wouldn’t be without her!

@Waveysnail
" With age gap that big it will be the same as having two only children."

I have a 10 year age gap due to secondary infertility. My two DD's are very close. My eldest enjoyed being the one to take her to her first proper festival and Amsterdam etc. They are really close.
Age gaps don't dictate how you will get on with your Siblings.

OP, my Mum had me 53 years ago at the age of 40, as did some of her friends and the generations earlier because of unreliable contraception and unreliable pregnancy testing and not having easy access to abortion. Pregnancies happened and you got on with them.

There are risks especially if your Partner is the same age or older than you.

I don't think you should have another one unless you are really broody for one and not for a Sibling. Personally I'd hate having a teen and the peri/menopause.

If you can be understanding towards modern issues and the worries of teenagers as they navigate their modern world, that's the main thing. My Mother couldn't and I was very unsupported.

Get yourself into optimum health. I've done that because I provide child care for my grandchildren, your energy levels do start to drop.

Hopefully not OP, I am hoping to have a frozen embryo transfer this summer, I’ll be 39, so if I were lucky enough to become pregnant from the transfer I’ll have a baby at 40. I had my first child at 20, my second at 21 and my third at 36. Plenty of people I know are having or have had babies in their late 30s or early 40s.

I gave birth at 39 to a healthy DD. I'm hoping to conceive a second too in the next year.

When I went to the hospital for my appointments there seemed to be lots of mums to be in their late 30s/early 40s.

I guess it depends mostly on how you feel about going back to the intense baby stage.

I had my first at 36 and my second at 39 :)

I would wonder about the age gaps between your children and whether you really want to go back to the baby stage.
I'm 37, I wouldn't do it, mine are 10 and 13 I couldn't go back to the baby stage.

I've just had my third baby at 39, I had all of mine after 35 and no complications at all in pregnancy or with the babies. I was/am fit and healthy so I didn't give it any thought really. My midwife didn't have any concerns either.

The only thing that would stop me in your situation would be the 8 year age gap.

I don't think it's too old if you found yourself pregnant at that age. Older women have babies and it's fine. But I suppose it depends how long it takes you to conceive. I wouldn't want to start trying at that age, for me personally it would be too old.

What does your DP think? You haven't even mentioned if they are also keen to have a child with you?

Had mine at 41 and 43. There's a 13 year gap between then and their half brothers. They get on well. I have friends with bigger gaps between kids and though they were not playmates as they age they get closer and would be a great support when the parents die.

I had my baby 5mths before I turned 40. Uneventful pregnancy (Gestational Diabetes not linked to age). They chose to induce me and I had a wonderful, straightforward birth with no assistance. We're currently ttc number 2 at 41 (me) and 43 (DH) although we've been trying 18mths now and so it's looking very unlikely it's going to happen sadly x