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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if this could be more? Think I’m in love with my best friend

731 replies

captainamericassexybeard · 18/02/2020 05:38

Have name changed for this because my other friend is on here and knows my username and I think I might combust with embarrassment if she came across this and clocked it was me (the wedding details might be outing).

I briefly “dated” a guy as a young teen and then we became really good friends and stayed that way, pretty much best friends ever since - purely platonic.
He’s a very attractive guy but I’ve genuinely never ever felt anything for him other than platonic love. Mutual friends have always said they don’t know why we aren’t together and some of my newer female friends have commented that they think there could be something there, but until recently I’ve always thought it was funny and brushed it off. I would have gone as far as to say we were like brother and sister!

Recently we went to a wedding together as I needed a plus one, and I don’t know what happened but it’s like I’ve suddenly seen him in a new light. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we had a great night as always when we are out but it’s like something has clicked in my brain and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

We are going to another wedding together on Friday, I’m returning the plus one favour and I’m really ridiculously nervous! I feel like I’m going to act weirdly or something or get drunk and say something and we’ve been friends for nearly 17 years now so I don’t want to ruin it! I’ve been avoiding him all last week because I think I’ll just go red or make it really obvious that something has changed.

I’m mortified at being such a cliche and reading this post back it sounds like the set up
For a VERY bad romcom. I’m a bit beside myself. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything at all, and how on earth I tell if he could like me more than friends (inwardly cringing).
Jesus I’m too old for this shit.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 21/02/2020 09:03

Can you ask +1 if you can shower at his?
Omg I'm very excited for you OP.
Knock him out (metaphorically) and good luck Flowers Smile

Blueuggboots · 21/02/2020 09:03

I loved my best friend from afar for quite a while....we used to do so much together and just totally clicked. It was so easy and we totoslly understood each other.,
She (we're both girls but she and I both thought I was straight!!) was my plus one at a mutual friend's wedding and I made a special effort. When she drove round the corner, her mouth fell open and she could hardly speak.....🥰🥰 I knew then for definite that she liked me too.
That was March 2013. We got together in July 2013, married in 2015 and haven't looked back. Best thing I ever did!

Casander · 21/02/2020 09:05

Shamelessly place marking! Good luck OP!

I've posted about me and DH before but we went to high school together, (he was popular, I definitely was not and he didn't really know I existedGrin) we were friends from the age of 20 but nothing came of it and then both ended up married to other people, neither marriages worked out and a while later we ended up going for a drink and well, the rest is history.

He proposed in the drama studio of our old high school where we met!

MrsA2015 · 21/02/2020 09:10

Soooo ready to know what’ll happen today!

AudacityOfHope · 21/02/2020 09:11

God I love this thread Grin

I married my best pal so I may be over invested.

do it, do it, do it!!

20Newnames · 21/02/2020 09:17

Good luck!

lunar1 · 21/02/2020 09:20

Go easy on the wine! Just a little for the nerves, not enough to be tipsy. You don't want him to think it's alcohol talking rather than you.

CoraPirbright · 21/02/2020 09:32

Best of luck today OP. We are all rooting for you!!

Summergarden · 21/02/2020 09:38

Good luck for today OP!

Pleeeeeease come and update us ASAP!

Yogawoogie · 21/02/2020 09:46

Hope today goes well.
I married my best friend after 25 years!

SmellMySmellbow · 21/02/2020 09:46

Good luck OP!

PepsiLola · 21/02/2020 09:48

Sometimes the best suited person for us was under our noses the whole time.

Good luck today OP, don't feel pressured to do anything cause of this thread. Let it play out naturally just by being flirty and looking great

Vectura · 21/02/2020 10:07

OP I am so excited for you I can't stand it.

I also married my best friend; hit me out of the blue while out drinking with him one day and I summoned up the courage to say something a month later. He fell over himself to agree with me and later confessed he had been in love with me for ages and too scared to say anything (I was his first girlfriend, he's quite shy about girls etc). We got married last year on our 6 year anniversary and he's still my absolute best friend.

It sounds like your friend is DEFINITELY hinting if you ask me! Oooh I so hope so!!

To echo PP's, don't feel pressured to say anything you don't want to. Just showing up looking gorgeous is enough. (a snap of your outfit would also be much appreciated!)

Spam88 · 21/02/2020 10:40

Good luck OP! I'm far more excited about this than I should be 😂

Louisesp82 · 21/02/2020 10:55

good luck OP! xx

helberg · 21/02/2020 10:59

Shamelessly placemarking.
Good luck OP - try to act normally and see what happens!

StinkEye · 21/02/2020 11:32

I am so here for this. OP, hope the love vibes roll off you on to him, but you do have to give him a sign/tell him in some way, things have shifted! I did this with my now husband, but i had to be the first one to make the move - GO FOR IT!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 21/02/2020 11:44

Am in for this! Have fun OP-would love a full outfit photo!

Syrinx89 · 21/02/2020 11:49

Thought I might as well post my story too - another one that loved best friend and didn't click for a couple of years! He wrote me a letter. All fell into place, especially when he cooked me the most delicious risotto... I was sold! 6 years later and we're still going strong. Ahhh OP this is so romantic. I really hope it happens!!! Grin

Writersblock2 · 21/02/2020 11:53

Omg this is the best thread ever. I’m so rooting for you, OP. And I can’t wait for the update (with details, please. We need details!). Grin

WhiteBadger · 21/02/2020 12:05

Omg grabbing the popcorn!!

Good luck OP

TheTempest · 21/02/2020 12:13

Good luck OP!

Whizbang · 21/02/2020 12:33

Go get him tiger!

Wigglewaggle01 · 21/02/2020 12:43

Hope it's all going well OP! Grin

mnahmnah · 21/02/2020 12:47

Really really hoping that this isn’t one of those threads where the OP doesn’t come back!

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