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To think my 'FREE' Psychic is getting annoyed with me?!!

70 replies

SuzieSunshine · 19/12/2019 11:10

This is lighthearted as I've read some really sad threads on here in the last couple of days so thought I'd post some light reading.
I made the mistake of clicking on a 'Free' Psychic reading and my mentor 'Chris' hasn't left me alone since. He's sent me about 12 e-mails getting slightly more hysterical in each one and they are making me laugh.

Do you think it's because I haven't sent him $69 to hear his words of wisdom and neither have I clicked on his life changing videos.
He's now reduced the price to $14.99 as his friend 'Sue' has told him that this is the reason I haven't replied to him.
I actually look forward the hearing from him now to see what else he has on offer.
I feel a bit sad that some vulnerable people will send him the money though and think that these type of many making schemes should come with some sort of a warning.
Anyway this is one of many I've been sent - waiting for today's to come through - Sorry it's very long!!

Suzie,
What on earth is happening? Why haven't you replied to my last email? Do you know that I am a very busy man and very sought after? Do you know that if I take the time to write to you, it is not to annoy you?
I am really surprised by your silence and hope that nothing terrible has happened to you. I think that you just haven't realized the chance you have, and that you have quite simply forgotten to answer me because perhaps, at the moment, you have too many concerns
May I say that I understand you and I have nothing against you. But I must absolutely speak to you and you must listen to what I have to say. Do you know why I insist on writing you although I have lots of other things to do? It is because unconsciously, you, Suzie called me in the middle of the night!
You don't remember, do you?
Even so, this is the truth. People who remember all of their dreams is very rare. But, I confirm that you did call me!
Thanks to my psychic power, I can receive these sorts of messages.
This is what we call a contact through a medium. You're probably surprised to hear this but, on the other hand, I'm used to this kind of contacts. Do you want to know how it happened?
Well, it happened yesterday, in the middle of the night. I was in a paradoxical phase of sleep when I heard someone crying: "Help me! Please help me, I cannot keep going any longer". I asked, "Who are you?"
At this moment I heard your name: Suzie. I woke up in this middle of the night with my heart beating wildly.
I said to myself that I must not leave you alone and that on the contrary, I must absolutely insist, in writing to you, that you need me more than ever!
So, please TAKE TWO MINUTES AND READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!
Suzie now, more than ever, your life can be changed!
Happiness, if this is what you want, can enter your life and stay there!
In my last mail, this is exactly what I was explaining to you. So, as you did not reply, I am going to take the time to explain everything to you once again!
I have drawn up a Revolutionary Method which enables people to be happy. My method is easy to use, quick and more important it is EFFICIENT!
I've called it the Revolutionary Method of Chris.
Thanks to this Method, I offer to bring Luck and Success into your life and this, in all fields of life: Money, Projects, Love, Family, Well-being.
How is it possible?
It is by removing, once for all, the negative energies that you have kept inside you over years. And then allowing yourself to absorb all the positive energies surrounding you.
I had to work very hard to develop this Method but I do not regret it. And do you know why?
Because 99% of the people who have tested it are already delighted! They have all seen positive events happening in their lives.
In this video, you will discover the stories of Linda, Max, and Sally. Each of them tried out this Method, and each has all experienced great changes in their everyday lives. They all agree that my Method has changed their lives.
Linda, for example, has accomplished a project which had fallen through 8 times before.
As for Max, he found true love and on top of that, he came in to a big sum of money at the races.
Sally, who had been unemployed for several years, found a job and tells me that she has also recovered the energy she had when she was 20!
I have lots of stories like these! And you know what I say? I hope that I will receive a testimony like that from you too in a short time!
You will discover in detail what is my Method and exactly what it can do for you.
Do not put things off till tomorrow yet again. The message you sent me in the middle of the night is a serious message sent by your subconscious.
I will speak to you soon about your life of happiness.
Your Friend,
Chris

OP posts:
SuzieSunshine · 19/12/2019 11:13

I didn't mean to enable the voting and it's 'money-making' not 'many making'.

OP posts:
Livedandlearned · 19/12/2019 11:13

Revolutionary method of Chris Grin

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/12/2019 11:13

😂😂😂
How very dare you not take him up on his amazing offer!

FairyJuice · 19/12/2019 11:14

Pmsl op I had the similar misfortune of accidentally signing up to something similar and was bombarded with emails from a woman called Margaret who kept promising me the world. She definitely wasn't as persistent and neurotic sounding as your Chris though Grin

BillywilliamV · 19/12/2019 11:15

Psychically call him in the middle of the night again and tell him to fuck off.

Sandsnake · 19/12/2019 11:16

You need to get Joe Lycett on the case... Grin

BrickTop999 · 19/12/2019 11:17

Revolutionary Method of Chris GrinGrinGrin
Absolute classic !!! What a chancer !!

minniemoll · 19/12/2019 11:19

I am really surprised by your silence and hope that nothing terrible has happened to you.

Presumably if he really was a psychic he wouldn't be surprised as he'd know that you weren't going to reply to him, and likewise he'd know that nothing terrible had happened to you...

EscapeTheCastle · 19/12/2019 11:20

Hi, I am "and Sally". I can indeed confirm the miracle brought to me via Chris and his magic vibes. I did too get good funds from the races and got engaged to the man of my top dreams.

EscapeTheCastle · 19/12/2019 11:20

So funny, thanks for posting this. Amused me no end.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/12/2019 11:24

That's fucking hilarious 😂

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 19/12/2019 11:25

Oh my god 😂

Equanimitas · 19/12/2019 11:26

I am really surprised by your silence and hope that nothing terrible has happened to you.

Surely if he's psychic he would have known that you would be silent, and would also know if something terrible had happened to you?

handslikecowstits · 19/12/2019 11:32

I'm finding it funny too but I imagine that if you're feeling vulnerable/ had MH issues Chris' relentless pestering would be awful. Conman.

SmileyClare · 19/12/2019 11:37

Dear Suzie,

Poor psychic Chris, not only rushed off his feet but badgered all night by paradoxical sleep calls that have him waking up with his heart beating wildly. He must be shattered, please don't bother him with your needs to have your life revolutionised Suzie.

I have psychic powers and you might be surprised that you called me in your paradoxical sleep zone thingy last night!!. I wasn't impressed frankly. Please use a phone next time.

I strongly advise you to visit the dog track today. Not only is a win waiting for you on HeddaLettuce running at 3 o clock but the man of your dreams will be there. Ask for Brian (blue anorak works on the burger van).

I don't want thanks but please send me £79.99 via bank transfer today to make these dreams come true for you.

Your friend,
Psychic Clare.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 19/12/2019 11:37

But look! Look! And Sally has posted!

People on Mumsnet are so cynical Xmas Hmm

I'm going to send him some money now, as he's probably psychically reading this thread on his laptop, and will feel hurt.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/12/2019 11:40

Well if he’s so busy and sort after why is he hounding and harassing you for custom.
I mean how desperate is he. Xmas Hmm

HolyheadBound · 19/12/2019 11:44

Revolutionary Method of Chris actually wins Christmas.

Thank you OP, I needed this today Grin

noeyedeer · 19/12/2019 11:45

I had a Facebook friend respond to a "tag a friend and get a free reading" thing on Facebook. Comments all about how, "they can't believe he knows so much about me..." etc etc.

Not that surprising when you realise that he or one of his "team" of recommended psychics then friend requests you can see all about your life.

merryhouse · 19/12/2019 11:46

I'm going to start using The Revolutionary Method of Chris.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 19/12/2019 11:51

If he’s constantly firing emails at you.
How he does all those readings seeing as he’s so sort after. If he applied to his “psychic powers” he’d be a billionaire in a week.

DontCallMeShitley · 19/12/2019 11:55

Surely he would know if 'anything terrible' had happened to you?

sugarbum · 19/12/2019 11:57

PMSL at Revolutionary Method of Chris Grin

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/12/2019 12:04

Hang on... that’s MY revolutionary method

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 19/12/2019 12:07

Bless his over-enthusiastic punctuation. Joe Lycett would have a field day, reminds me of his mother who was so very in the garden centre...

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