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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with what fil said

66 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:18

Was in a fast food restaurant with dh and fil and fil made a comment about the adults working there are working there because they were too lazy and that's why they never made anything of their lives. Then said he doesn't understand how they can be okay with it, he would never be like that and could never be okay with having a job like. I was very shocked, too shocked to reply to him at the time. It was very upsetting and hurtful comment because my mum has always had a working class job from working in supermarkets to department shops. By saying that its implying my mum is lazy and didn't make anything her life which is wrong and very unsulting. AIBU to be upset and frankly furious at his narrow minded shallow comment.

Some of my fil's other shit opinions are fat people are just lazy and cleaning is womens work Hmm

OP posts:
barryfromclareisfit · 01/09/2019 09:21

If you found a pile of turd, you wouldn’t waste your time trying to make curtains with it.

Apply the same principle. Your fil, sorry to say, is an ignorant shit. Don’t engage. Don’t be hurt by it, shit happens.

katesalwayslate · 01/09/2019 09:21

He sounds like a dick but to be honest there is a certain stigma to working in fast food that there isn’t to working in say, a supermarket. Lots of people would never consider working in fast food but wouldn’t mind working in a supermarket - it’s like fast food is a sort of embarrassing option? I’m not sure why but lots of people seem to share this view. It doesn’t necessarily mean he thinks negatively of all working class people. He sounds like an arse in general so I’d just ignore him and spend less time with him.

imnotinthemood · 01/09/2019 09:23

Well he sounds a delight!!
Of course he's narrow minded and ignorant.
If no one worked in fast food there would be no fast food for your fil . Also a lot of fast food staff are students .
I'd be embarrassed to go anywhere with him.

isabellerossignol · 01/09/2019 09:27

He sounds awful but it's a view I see all the time on Mumsnet, and sadly I don't think it's all that unusual in general.

Funny how these people who look down their noses at those doing these jobs still want to use the services that are provided. They despise the people providing the service at the same time as wanting them to provide the service. Very hypocritical.

Original poster
CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:29

He didn't eat any of the food there. Because eating that kind of food is beneath him apparently Hmm. He won't eat a McDonald's but will eat takeaway from local takeaway shops

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 01/09/2019 09:30

Let it go, you can’t argue with stupid.

ChickenNugget86 · 01/09/2019 09:33

Sounds a complete knob to me.

Out of interest what was his job?

Zaphodsotherhead · 01/09/2019 09:34

He's a dick. A lot of people do these jobs because the hours are convenient, rather than because it's the only job they can get. If you're a student (of whatever age) or have responsibilities that you need to fit a job around, they are far more flexible than the traditional 9-5.

needmorespace · 01/09/2019 09:35

What a nasty fucker he is.
I'm not sure though why you didn't say anything to him.
Shitty people need to be called out on their shitty thoughts.

Original poster
CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:37

isabellerossignol yes it is very hypocritical. What would they do if no one worked there.

ChickenNugget86 he has been retired a while but a teacher in geography I think

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 01/09/2019 09:40

Why are you spending time with him in places like that? Can't you just keep it to duty visits?

ineedaholidaynow · 01/09/2019 09:43

Why would you go there if he doesn’t eat it?

Original poster
CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:44

It was a motorway service one. Dh was very hungry and wanted food

OP posts:
Hirsutefirs · 01/09/2019 09:46

Could the staff hear him?

DishingOutDone · 01/09/2019 09:48

He's an arsehole. Does your DH support his views? If so you have two arseholes.

Hwory · 01/09/2019 09:48

When I worked in McDonalds a man looked at me then told his daughter that couldn’t have been older then 5 that she needs to work hard at school and go to uni so she doesn’t end up working here.

Most of us were either in college or uni and working on the side to pay for it. Prick.

Anyway yes it’s a shitty attitude that I don’t really understand. People want burgers and clean houses but they look their noses down at the people providing the service.

ThisHereMamaBear · 01/09/2019 09:48

Can I win the "my fil is more ignorant than yours" please?

  • when there was bad flooding in India, we were watching a charity appeal on the tv. Men were trying to rescue belongings from their houses and fil piped up "oh yes, they're so hard done by in their fancy white shirts" Hmm
  • commenting helpfully and empathetically on my ds's divorce and child care battle, "it would have been easier if they had an abortion" Confused
  • after the birth of my ds, I had a horrid haemmorhage at home. Fil asked if it had caused me to put on a lot of weight!

He is such an awful human! Thank god my dh is nothing like him and mil is lovely. I get through any of his outbursts by repeating naughty words over and over again in my head!

Hecateh · 01/09/2019 09:55

They may or may not be motivated but they are certainly not lazy. There are many reasons for working in fast food, supermarket or whatever but laziness isn't one.
It is hard work spending 8 hours on your feet working and someone choosing to be lazy wouldn't hack it for long

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 10:05

When I was working as a checkout operatror I had a customer turn to his daughetr and tell her to work hard at school otherwise she would have a job like mine.

i commenetd to him' Actually, I am currently doing a PhD in marine biology'.

[actually I was doing a postgrad in Russian literature, but never mind... marine biology shut him up faster than russian literature would have].

darkcloudsandsunnyskies · 01/09/2019 10:07

People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 10:09

Is that what you think OP should say to her FIL? It's amazing how people who generalise hate being generalised about!!

RedskyLastNight · 01/09/2019 10:09

It's just a horribly snobbish attitude. My mother once made a similar remark about an acquaintance who worked behind the till at a garden centre - how it wasn't really a "proper job". For context, my mother hasn't worked at all in the last 40 years, but she still felt herself superior.

isabellerossignol · 01/09/2019 10:10

I stumbled onto a thread on the Staff Room topic here a few weeks ago and saw someone who is a teacher say that she motivates her students by telling them they will be stuck working in Tesco if they don't work harder. Which I thought was a pretty spectacularly rude thing to say seeing as you have no idea why anyone works at Tesco and also what's wrong with working at Tesco? Many people actually enjoy it. They don't feel able to cope with the stress of a 'career' type job (although there are plenty of career jobs with Tesco anyway), or frankly they just aren't academically all that capable. Not being academic is not the same as being lazy.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 10:13

Jesus. I have clients who work their bloody butts off on overnight shelf stacking at Tesco. They do it (like anyone else) in order to provide for their family. I have one client who has severe learning difficulties and who is so proud to work full time and not be on benefits and to pay her taxes and look after her children.

How dare anyone look down their nose at her!!

hunsontherun · 01/09/2019 10:14

he has been retired a while but a teacher in geography I think

Yeh, the service industry needs to stop, cleeners stop working, taxi drivers, the whole lot. Wot the world needs is more geography LOL 🙄