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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry with what fil said

66 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:18

Was in a fast food restaurant with dh and fil and fil made a comment about the adults working there are working there because they were too lazy and that's why they never made anything of their lives. Then said he doesn't understand how they can be okay with it, he would never be like that and could never be okay with having a job like. I was very shocked, too shocked to reply to him at the time. It was very upsetting and hurtful comment because my mum has always had a working class job from working in supermarkets to department shops. By saying that its implying my mum is lazy and didn't make anything her life which is wrong and very unsulting. AIBU to be upset and frankly furious at his narrow minded shallow comment.

Some of my fil's other shit opinions are fat people are just lazy and cleaning is womens work Hmm

OP posts:
EcocabbyRickShaw · 01/09/2019 11:18

I see selmababies beat me to it Grin

'People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings.' gets my price for totally shit comment of the year week

CandyLeBonBon · 01/09/2019 11:21

People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings

TWAT!

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 11:22

Do you not think that poster was being ironic? Generalising like the OP's FIL was? That is how interpreted it, anyway!

OrangeAeroBubbles · 01/09/2019 11:24

I work in a restaurant, in excess of 50 hours some weeks, and the shit I get is unreal. So, for someone who isn't in the position I'm in to realise that I don't work there due to a lack of passion, drive or ambition.. it's nice to hear, really. I've had a regular customer tell me I'm nothing but scum, that I'll never amount to anything and that I'll end up on benefits some day. I've been told that one customer would be embarrassed of his daughter if she worked in my job. I've had a woman tell her partner not to flirt with me (he literally asked me what was on the specials board and that was it), saying that I'm 'just a waitress, nothing special'. I've had it questioned how I afford to have my own home on 'just a waitress wage'.
I spent four years at university, gaining my postgraduate teaching degree in secondary religion and philosophy. Now, I've decided it's not really for me (and there's a serious lack of jobs, too!) and am working towards opening my own restaurant. I rescue elderly cats and give them the best, healthiest possible twilight years. I bake for local charity events. I'm getting married next year to a man who has supported me through childloss, MH issues and so much other shit.
Now, I'm not making out like I'm something special, because in reality I am just a waitress.. but my job title doesn't define me. I'm a human being both in and out of that uniform. If my FIL made such comments, I'd ask him what makes him feel so superior that he can put people down in such a way.

Rainbowknickers · 01/09/2019 11:42

I work at a fast food place
Am also a qualified hairdresser
I work there cos I have to support my children/myself
Would it be looked in better if I claimed benefits?
This really pisses me off (fil not you!)
I get it all the bloody time
I have to deal with everything that’s thrown at me-the good bad and the ugly
I’ve been sexually assaulted twice found god knows how many needles threatened had knives waved in my face downright rude customers spat at and been openly looked down on
But I do it cos the lovely ones/kids/regular customers make it all worthwhile
Plus it’s my self worth sat in my bank account every fortnight
No way is my partner supporting me

iklboo · 01/09/2019 11:45

@OrangeAeroBubbles - you are NOT 'just a waitress'. You're a lovely, caring person. I have not and would never look down on service staff. Who do these twats think would cook & bring them their food? The Dining Fairy?

JustTwoMoreSecs · 01/09/2019 11:51

The thing is people working in fast foods, supermarkets etc are not lazy, it is tiring, repetitive, hard on the body. They might (might!) have been lazy earlier on at school, but they are definitevely not lazy now!

FWIW I took a retail summer job one summer and quit after 1 day as it was too much, instead I was subsidized by wealthy parents, studied and ended up in a well paid office job. Yes I did work hard at school but really, the luck of being born in my family and luck was what determined my path. And why believe it is not the same for the mcdonalds workers?

cannycat20 · 01/09/2019 11:58

So what does he do for a living that makes him so special? Is he a top neurosurgeon or cancer specialist that he can hold such elitist views? (Although in my time in the NHS the neurosurgeons and so on that I encountered were all generally very nice people who wouldn't have held such silly views anyway....).

Good God. I've known people with PhDs who've been working in fast food and many other types of jobs when they've needed the money! No matter how well-educated you are you still have to eat and have some kind of shelter over your head.

Along the way I've also met plenty of people who work in "communications", "marketing" and other such spurious professions who wouldn't last five minutes in a fast food or restaurant setting, or even operating a busy switchboard on a front reception desk, come to that - and yes, I have done worked in both of those jobs in my time. And then they look down their lengthy over-privileged noses at those who do work hard! (Genuinely hard, not sitting on their backsides in meetings over-fuelled with coffee while they talk about important things like the font in a document - and yes, I've worked in that kind of environment too. I still remember one meeting when that's all that was discussed. For half an hour. And not one person round that table was lower than the equivalent of an NHS band 8 in terms of salary....)

cannycat20 · 01/09/2019 11:59

Aaagh, "done worked"! I meant to take one of those words out before I posted the message, but I got so cross at how ridiculously snotty, pompous and up their own bums some people can get I forgot to proof-read!!

Aprillygirl · 01/09/2019 11:59

People who work in fast food restaurants work extremely hard for very little pay. They are anything but lazy! Some people are doing it to pay their way through university, others just haven't had the opportunity to reach their full potential academically, some may have tried their best but failed to make the grade to get the job they dream of and some may actually enjoy working at the places that your chauvinistic, cunty, snob of a FIL think is beneath him. People like your FIL make me sick, and I would pull him up on his nasty remarks every single time until he learned not to say them again, around me at least.

Lunafortheloveogod · 01/09/2019 12:06

Some of the Maccies managers are on a pretty good wage for being “lazy unqualified folks” £20k-£30k depending on title n area. Moneys money, doesn’t matter if you earn it on a fireman’s pole or a stripper pole it spends just the same and we all need it to live.

cannycat20 · 01/09/2019 12:09

Have just read that your FIL taught geography. Not being funny, but all the geography grads I knew had limited choices if they wanted jobs and ALL had to add a useful vocational postgrad in something to earn a living....

I've also met a lot of teachers over the years who think they're something rather more special than they are (yes, I did a PGCE and definitely decided it wasn't for me, not in the subjects I was teaching anyway). Though it's not the case now, many of them used to live and work in a nice safe cocooned little bubble, with guaranteed jobs, rather large pensions, and once you'd been teaching for a while, you could deliver the lessons in your sleep. (I knew several who did.)

I suspect he'd not last five minutes if he went into a modern classroom if he's been retired a while. I'd be tempted to suggest he give it a go, in the interests of, you know, sharing his vast wisdom of and insights into the world. I'd take popcorn....

People with his approach make me so cross, as you've probably gathered; I used to get this rubbish all the time when I was temping for a few years after I graduated as there was no work for arts/humanities grads where I was living. It doesn't matter what people do for a living, as long as it's an honest living. I suppose he also thinks politicians all work hard and do an honest day's work?!

Lillyhatesjaz · 01/09/2019 12:19

I think mcdonalds jobs are one of the best kept secrets.
They are comparatively well paid especially for young people, quite flexible, have good career progression and every one I know who works there really enjoys it.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 12:22

YY to the McDonalds jobs. Everyone I know who works there really values it, and the career progression is both supported and varied.

Aldi also.

I have a former colleague who now works in HR at Aldi and she cannot speak more highly of it.

amusedbush · 01/09/2019 12:27

McDonald’s pay well and have an excellent training scheme that allows staff to earn a degree without taking on debt, and they can progress to high level positions within the company. I think it’s an excellent route to take if you enjoy working in the service sector.

Your FIL is a fucking knob. What makes him such a prize?

Rachelover40 · 01/09/2019 12:36

What's a 'job like' ?

He said a stupid thing, it's honest work, certainly better than not working and most don't do it forever.

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