Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be angry with what fil said

66 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 01/09/2019 09:18

Was in a fast food restaurant with dh and fil and fil made a comment about the adults working there are working there because they were too lazy and that's why they never made anything of their lives. Then said he doesn't understand how they can be okay with it, he would never be like that and could never be okay with having a job like. I was very shocked, too shocked to reply to him at the time. It was very upsetting and hurtful comment because my mum has always had a working class job from working in supermarkets to department shops. By saying that its implying my mum is lazy and didn't make anything her life which is wrong and very unsulting. AIBU to be upset and frankly furious at his narrow minded shallow comment.

Some of my fil's other shit opinions are fat people are just lazy and cleaning is womens work

OP posts:

Aderyn19 · 01/09/2019 10:15

Why do you continue to see him? I'd tell my DH that I found him too offensive to socialise with and wouldn't be doing so in future.

Selmababies · 01/09/2019 10:16

People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings.

Seriously?

What a stupid thing to say. On every level.

ahughes20 · 01/09/2019 10:16

He just sounds like a complete ignorant moron. For all he knows they could have a huge inheritance and just work there to keep busy. Or perhaps they don't want to work behind a desk all day.

He has no idea what money they're on (usually very good salaries for their perceived "worth" by dicks like FIL, especially when climbing through the ranks), no idea how good their staff benefits are, learning and development opportunities.

I'd just feel sorry for FIL, and be sure to break that messed up opinion with your DC's (just in case fil has been in their ears).

SimonJT · 01/09/2019 10:19

My cousin works at McDonalds, she started as a burger flipper when she was at college, shes now an area manager on decent money and due to their training scheme no student debt.

Surely the most important workers are those doing things we don’t want to do ourselves? I hate cleaning, so I pay someone to do it, she’s a life saver as she is willing to do something that I’m generally not willing/too lazy to do.

EscapeTheOrdinary · 01/09/2019 10:19

I remember when I was 18 and working in a shoe shop (was quite a snobby one) and I spent the whole summer having parents looking down their noses at me telling me how their wonderful daughters had made it to the local grammar school with smug looks on their faces as if I was never going to “achieve anything”. I loved telling them I had completed my a levels there and was of to university that September and telling the kids which teachers were nicest whilst charging the parent a fortune for pretty basic shoes! I worked in hospitality for many years after and can honestly say that retail and hospitality staff are always treated like dirt yet they work really hard! You wouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you so why insult the people who provide your every day essentials and indulgences? I don’t think people realise how much money can be earned in those industries either. If you get into management the pay can get very very competitive

MaidenMotherCrone · 01/09/2019 10:19

Or@isabellerossignol some people work at Tesco because it suits them! Nothing to do with 'not being able to cope with stress' or 'academic achievement'.

Your attitude is just as bad as the FIL in the OP, just with an added head tilt.

Oh and Op, he was just a teacher. No offence to teachers.

FamilyOfAliens · 01/09/2019 10:22

Dh was very hungry and wanted foOd.

You should have left FIL in the car in case he caught working class laziness by going in with you.

isabellerossignol · 01/09/2019 10:24

Or@isabellerossignol some people work at Tesco because it suits them! Nothing to do with 'not being able to cope with stress' or 'academic achievement'.

That's what I was saying. There was no head tilt from me. I said 'what is wrong with working at Tesco?'. And the answer is that there is nothing wrong with working at Tesco. My mention of stress or academic achievement was in relation to that teacher's attitude that the only people who work there are those who haven't worked hard at school.

Ponoka7 · 01/09/2019 10:26

@isabellerossignol, some people are happy to earn enough in a job, rather than chase a career.

There's nothing wrong with going to work and leaving it there, then enjoying your life.

You don't need to do your own form of patronising.

OP, this is a classic case of an academically educated, very stupid person. They shouldn't be paid any attention to.

MollyButton · 01/09/2019 10:26

I'm just very relieved he is no longer working - teachers like that destroy young peoples confident.

I worked in schools for a while, and feel very proud when I see old students working in: Starbucks, the petrol station and a local restaurant. They have jobs, are working hard, and actually are probably learning that in the world of work they are valued far more highly than they were at school.

Carthage · 01/09/2019 10:27

It's a horrible attitude and only reflects badly on him. No one knows why people do particular jobs, it may be nothing to do with lack of academic achievement. A close family member, for instance, left her high powered job to work in a shop because she'd had a bereavement and wanted the structure/company but not the stress.

Lou670 · 01/09/2019 10:28

I hate people like this. My daughter works her socks of at Greggs to fund her studies. She is a student nurse at university, just about to go in to her third year.

Some customers think that this is her career. So what if it was? I would be just as proud of her. Who does he think will serve him then if not for these people that he looks down his nose at?

Retail staff get such a hard time and work so hard. Personally I would not go out with him in future if that is his behaviour!

user1493413286 · 01/09/2019 10:28

I would say something about your mum next time. My fil made some comments about people not working hard enough to get out of low paid jobs and I had a bit of a rant at him about his privilege as a white middle class male born into a supportive family well educated family. He hasn’t made any comments since although I doubt he’s actually changed his opinion, just stopped sharing it with me

isabellerossignol · 01/09/2019 10:29

@isabellerossignol, some people are happy to earn enough in a job, rather than chase a career.

There's nothing wrong with going to work and leaving it there, then enjoying your life.

Which is exactly what I was saying

poptypingchef · 01/09/2019 10:31

I worked my way through high school and university in fast food restaurant and the comments were incredible. Most of the people I worked with were doing so for the same reasons and those that weren’t were doing so to have flexible hours that fitted around their home life, children’s school hours or caring for their family.

I earned more an hour than my friends who were working in fancy clothing’s stores, with paid lunches and I didn’t have to fork out for my own uniform every season. They put me through recognised managements qualifications that employers have valued right up till my last appointment as Director. But most of all I made many lifelong friends one of whom acted as my witness at my wedding. 20 years (God is it that long??!) we have been in each other’s lives through thick and thin and I’m so proud of where we have ended up.

swampytiggaa · 01/09/2019 10:31

My son works in McDonald’s. As a 17 year old student it pays way over the nmw and fits in around his course. He is shattered after his shifts as he is busy the whole time he is there. I have said to him that there would be worse options than trying to make a career out of it.

And my husband works at Tesco stacking shelves overnight. He is a skilled worker in a sadly dying trade. Tesco pay a similar amount to his trade without the travelling he would need to do. He works incredibly hard and likes the time it gives him with the children.

According to your FIL both my husband and son are lazy wasters. Personally I’m just happy that they have decent jobs that they enjoy.

KUGA · 01/09/2019 10:37

Hes an ignorant self opinionated twat. Ignore his comments hes not worth head space.

iklboo · 01/09/2019 10:37

People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings.

Riiiiiiiiiight.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 01/09/2019 10:37

Exactly swampy. When i was training as a postgrad in a 'professional' qualification I was earning far less than I would have at Tesco or mcDonalds. Plus, from what i have seen with friends who work at McDonalds and at Aldi, their companies care more about their staff in terms of job satisfaction and progression (and indeed pay more for managers) than my workplace.

GrouchoMrx · 01/09/2019 10:37

What an ignorant comment.

As an aside, I work at a university and I usually associate fast food restaurants with hard-working students. For example, fast food restaurants seem to be where a lot of the non-wealthy international students find part-time work. These students are often doing advanced degrees in science, engineering, medicine, etc.

Not that it matters but I am also curious what great contribution has your FIL made to mankind?

Kanga83 · 01/09/2019 10:45

He sounds like a twat. I worked in Burger King and a bar while doing a law degree, I carried on with an evening shift a week while training to be a solicitor. Quite a few there were working towards qualifications. The ones that weren't, well it was a step into hospitality and customer services. Not everyone is academically gifted, and for those who were not, it gave a sound wage and confidence, and for those who couldn't cope with being people focused you could work in the prep section. I worked with a lovely lady who had to wear headphones due to sensitivity from autism and couldn't cope talking to customers but she loved the idea she was helping prep their meals and earning a bit of money and independence. I loved her to bits. Her key worker would bring her and the start of her shift and collect her and she always left with a smile.

LagunaBubbles · 01/09/2019 10:50

People over the age of thirty are all the same. Their mental and physical abilities go into a state of terminal decline. Awful human beings

Hahaha haha

SerendipityJane · 01/09/2019 11:00

He's just a moron. Best manoeuvre him out of your life.

He'd have just as much to say (and it would be just as worthless) if he saw someone with no job. Or indeed any job he couldn't do, or didn't understand. Which (I imagine) in his case is quite a few, given the low level of intelligence they're deploying in everyday life generally.

Whatever you chose to do (or not do), best not to let him have any bearing on your happiness. Lifes too short (and for him, too complicated).

SunniDay · 01/09/2019 11:10

There is no shame in an honest days work.

In fact people should be ashamed if they won't work in fast food/retail/care/cleaning if they need to support themselves and their families and are perfectly capable of doing so.

A parent I know told his son he wants to work hard else he'll end up cleaning loos. So I piped straight up "what like me!?" Not in anger I found it quite funny. I'm a night carer and do lots of cleaning and housework overnight (I clean 10 bathrooms - including the loos!). I love my job. I have a degree and a masters but I enjoy my job, enjoy being able to switch off when I walk out of work and being able to be very flexible in the daytime for my kids needs - never needing to miss an invite into school and no disruption to my work when they are ill (they are with hubby overnight).

I feel sorry for people that leave the house at 6:30 am and get back at 8pm - missing out on seeing their kids in the week - and paying someone else handsomely to look after them. We are all entitled to our own choices and should respect other people whatever (honest) job they do.

Dogsarebetterthancatsok · 01/09/2019 11:15

I work a minimum wage job in my forties because I’m too lazy to train and do better. Always have been, so I kind of see what he is saying.

Flip

1 2 3