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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws giving my daughter Coca Cola.

64 replies

Shootingstar1115 · 21/04/2019 14:44

Hi all, my daughter is 3 and we went over there today and they were giving her Coca Cola. I said no but they just carried on saying it was an Easter treat and I was letting her eat chocolate so what’s the difference? Firstly, Easter is about chocolate eggs not Coca Cola.

I’m not overly strict with the kids diets. I believe in everything in moderation BUT I tend to draw the line at fizzy drinks. I don’t drink them myself apart from the very occasional Fanta or Lilt. My own mother had some serious issues with Cola. Growing up she would get the shakes if she didn’t have a few large glasses of it A DAY! She would panic if she forgot to buy it so it did put me off. My mother always encouraged me to drink it but I was never keen and can’t stand the stuff.

Aibu to think if a parent says no the in laws should listen and stick to it?

I know grandparents like to spoil their grandchildren but surely just letting them Isn’t setting them a good example in respecting me as their mum? 🤔

Fortunately my eldest isn’t keen and isn’t interested in fizzy drinks but I daughter will pretty much eat or drink anything put in front of her.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 21/04/2019 14:46

So did you get up and move her away or remove the drink? Cos I would have. Don’t let them carry on undermining you.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 21/04/2019 14:46

Its a fizzy drink, not the class A drug.

One glass wont make her teeth fall out, or give her an addiction.

AssassinatedBeauty · 21/04/2019 14:47

You're not wrong. Is it not possible to take away anything they try and give her that's inappropriate? No child should be having caffeinated drinks.

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/04/2019 14:48

It's coke, not a bottle of gin..

Its unreasonable of them to undermine you, but you are being very precious over a fizzy drink at Grandmas!

WordsFailMeAgain · 21/04/2019 14:49

I had to have this conversation with my MIL, but it was Diet Coke. It was the caffeine in it that I didn’t like so maybe use that point? Caffeine does irritate the bladder.

I’m not against a fizzy pop for a treat but not Coke for that reason.

user1471517900 · 21/04/2019 14:49

I did laugh at "Easter is about chocolate eggs not Coca Cola"

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/04/2019 14:50

Ok they shouldn't undermine you but a glass of coke as an occasional treat will not do any harm at all. And Easter isnt supposed to be about chocolate its supposed to be about the death and resurrection of Jesus so that is an invalid argument.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 14:50

It's rubbish that they've undermined you and yes, they should have listened when you said no but getting into a back and forth about it in front of the kids does no one any favours. As a one off it's not going to do her any long term harm, next time you're speaking to the in-laws remind them that your rule is no cola and they need to respect that in future.

Passthecherrycoke · 21/04/2019 14:51

That’s pretty out of order. I would’ve removed it and said no, she’s not allowed fizzy drinks and poured it down the sink if need be. That’s ridiculous behaviour from your in laws

Usuallyinthemiddle · 21/04/2019 14:52

Jesus wasn't ressurrected for coca cola! He was, however, for chocolate eggs... Hmm
Tell them no. She's not having it again. Then let it go unless they do it again.

ltk · 21/04/2019 14:52

Fizzy, sugary drinks are a terrible habit and you are doing her a favour to keep her off them. More importantly, you said no. If they hand her one again, pour it down the sink in full view and repeat, No fizzy drinks. I said no.

Original poster
Shootingstar1115 · 21/04/2019 14:55

Of course I know that one glass isn’t going to harm her. I’m not very strict with their diet. Both mine do have treats but I tend to draw the line at fizzy drinks. Can’t see the appeal of it myself either.

*sorry Sweeneytoddsrazor’ I didn’t word that very well. Of course Easter isn’t about chocolate 😊 but what I meant that I was annoyed that they were comparing chocolate and Coca Cola 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootingstar1115 · 21/04/2019 14:56

It’s more because I don’t want her to get a taste for them to be honest!

OP posts:
Parker231 · 21/04/2019 14:57

I had very few rules regarding eating whilst DC’s were young. Easter eggs were fine - it’s a chocolate celebration and it’s only a four day holiday - DC’s understood that but fizzy drinks are rubbish- there’s nothing good about them other than empty calories and chemical sugary taste.

I would be removing your DC’s from the drinks and issuing a strong ‘no’ to anyone offering them.

stucknoue · 21/04/2019 14:58

Whilst my kids certainly didn't have coke at that age (sprite very occasionally) don't blow it out of proportion. There's caffeine in chocolate remember.

Ewitsahooman · 21/04/2019 14:59

It's fine that you don't want her getting a taste for them, that's your choice as her parent. I would have just gritted my teeth and let it go at that moment because taking it away is only going to upset the child and then she's the one being "punished", plus it plays into any perceptions of you being upright or precious, then next time you speak over the phone or by text I'd have said "DD enjoyed her fizzy drink on Sunday but for future reference she is not allowed cola".

TeaForTheWin · 21/04/2019 15:01

I would have let her had it but made a point of mentioning to them (when kid isn't about) that in future you don't want to have conversations like that infront of her as it undermines your parenting and not to give her fizzy juice in future.

Original poster
Shootingstar1115 · 21/04/2019 15:03

I did let her have it. I didn’t want to cause an argument so just let it slide even though I did say no twice. They just carried on anyway. 😭

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 21/04/2019 15:03

I think it depends how often she sees her GPs. If it's not so often then it doesn't matter much what they are giving her, let them spoil her. If she sees a lot of them then it does start to matter, and I would put my foot down and take things away from her. It's annoying that you have to be the bad guy but it's very rude of them to ignore you. You are the mum, you have final say.

RosamundDarnley · 21/04/2019 15:04

The more you restrict the more it seems desirable. I don't see a problem with Coca-Cola occasionally, at family parties etc.

Wait until your dd is teenage and has her own spending money, and see what she chooses to drink and eat. It'll make your hair curl! Wink

AssassinatedBeauty · 21/04/2019 15:09

The issue is really that you said no twice and they ignored you and carried on anyway. I wouldn't be happy about that, whatever it was about. What did your partner/husband think about them ignoring you?

SunshineCake · 21/04/2019 15:10

Don't let it go again. They need to respect your choices as a parent. Mine are 13-18 and while I don't think my PIL agree with all my choices they would never ignore them.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/04/2019 15:13

You are her mother and no one should be undermining you with regards to what your kids get. Simple as. Personally I would just take it off her, but thats just me. If you only see them now and again its not the end of the world though is it.

Boysey45 · 21/04/2019 15:14

I wish I had never had fizzy drinks at all, I've had a lot of tooth decay as an adult despite brushing 3x per day. YANBU OP,I'd keep my children away from pop as well.

diddl · 21/04/2019 15:19

" saying it was an Easter treat and I was letting her eat chocolate so what’s the difference? "

Well surely the difference is that she's having chocolate & that's enough shit for one day?

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