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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel last minute?

79 replies

pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 16:53

I'm not normally a flake before anyone assumes so.
I agreed to go to Leeds with a friend tomorrow and stay overnight.
We have train and hotel booked but I just feel like rubbish.
My period is due tomorrow and I'm so tired.
I don't get bad pain but really really tired.
The thought of travelling and walking round Leeds is too much to bare.
Aibu to cancel and ask to rearrange for another time?
Or do I suck it up and just go?

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 05/04/2019 16:56

You might feel better tomorrow.

Get an early night. You can rest on the train there, have a strong coffee and being with your friend will probably cheer you up and you'll have fun.

Do what you can, fit in some nice cafe / bar rests in between the walking.

ScreamingValenta · 05/04/2019 16:57

Are you far from Leeds - is this a long journey to make? Could you do something relaxing, e.g. cinema, when you're there rather than walking around?

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 16:57

I'm 3 hours away

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 05/04/2019 16:58

I'd be pretty unimpressed if a friend canceled a pre-planned because they were tired. Especially as it is only a one night city break not a cycle or hike anything where you actually have to exert your self with no option to sit in a cafe or bar and chilax.

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 16:58

She wants to go to shop
We've spent £62 each on train
I'm worried if I say I'm tired she will think it's a rubbish reason

OP posts:
Poppyputthekettleon · 05/04/2019 16:58

You need to pay for the whole thing if you cancel or at least offer with such short notice. Too be honest unless you are in pain, call your friend explain you are super tired and ask if you can have a more relaxing day in Leeds than planned, also treat yourself on the train, I do feel for you though Flowers

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 05/04/2019 16:59

Would your friend be stuck on their own if you cancelled?

Xmasbaby11 · 05/04/2019 16:59

It's a rubbish reason. Should be a fun trip and not very tiring. Just go!

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 17:02

Yeah it's just the two of us going
So she would be alone
I keep telling myself I'm not ill
It's normal

OP posts:
LuckyAmy1986 · 05/04/2019 17:05

I would go but tell her you aren’t feeling great. That way you can go chill at the hotel if you need to. I’m sure she would rather that than not go at all, if you think you can handle it

Celebelly · 05/04/2019 17:06

Can you have a really early night tonight to solve the tiredness issue? I think I'd just suck it up with so little notice, have an early night, and just tell your friend you don't feel great and ask if you can take it a bit easy tomorrow.

BlueCornishPixie · 05/04/2019 17:07

Sorry I'd be really upset if you cancelled on me because your tired and coming on your period. It's a bit of a shit thing to do.

Have a nice dinner tonight, go to bed early. and then go. You are getting the train so can just relax there, no driving.

DameSylvieKrin · 05/04/2019 17:07

Go with her to Leeds. Have a lie down in the hotel in the afternoon if you need it.

Order654 · 05/04/2019 17:08

Saying your tired is a rubbish reason for going.
I’d be pretty pissed off if a friend cancelled on me because she was tired if a train/hotel was already booked.

Order654 · 05/04/2019 17:09

For not going*

BreconBeBuggered · 05/04/2019 17:09

It's a rubbish reason. I'm sorry you feel so crap, but it's still a rubbish reason and even if you'd never been flaky before I might start shifting you towards the flake category if you cancelled on me. Absolutely suggest taking things a bit easier than you'd planned if you still feel shitty tomorrow.

ilovesooty · 05/04/2019 17:12

Unless you're actually ill I'm afraid I wouldn't be at all impressed if I were your friend.

DanglyBangly · 05/04/2019 17:13

You’ve got all of this evening to try and improve how you feel. Drink lots of water, bath, early night. You might feel a million times better in the morning.

aprilshowers12 · 05/04/2019 17:14

If you go to bed now you can get a good 12 hours sleep. It’s not unusual to be tired after a week working and it’s not a good enough reason to let your friend down. You knew you’d feel tired on A Friday evening, I think most people do. Most women also have periods and you can take brufen with you in case. If you do decide not to go I think you’ll be massively out of pocket as will need to pay for your friends out of pocket expenses

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 05/04/2019 17:22

You are a flake. I'd be furious if you were my friend. At least refund her all the money she's spent. Awful behaviour.

winterinmadeira · 05/04/2019 17:24

I have had this happen to me this week - I’m not impressed because I had to cancel arrangements to suit her and then cancel arrangements that I’d made for us to go.

Just go and in future learn from this. Sorry to sound harsh. Anyway you may enjoy it. 😄

Drum2018 · 05/04/2019 17:27

My period drains me but I don't let it stop me living. I'd never use that as an excuse not to go when it's already planned and I'd be raging if a friend cancelled on me this late for that reason. I get very heavy bleeding which is uncomfortable as well as pain but I'd bring lots of pads and painkillers. A train journey isn't going to knock anything out of you - snooze if you need to.

EleanorLavish · 05/04/2019 17:28

OP, I'd kill you!Grin
This is what painkillers were made for, use them.
I often tell my kids that sometimes you just have to push on through, this is a perfect example. Take painkillers, push on through and please do it with a smile on your face. Don't complain the whole day.
If you're going by train and staying all night get a drink down you and enjoy it. You can do this snowflake.Wink

IHateUncleJamie · 05/04/2019 17:28

YABU to cancel for that reason, yes. Sorry. I’d be gutted and really cross if I were your friend and you cancelled. Being tired and on your period is not reason to cancel a prepaid and prebooked trip.

Early supper and very early night should help hugely.

ritzbiscuits · 05/04/2019 17:30

I would be really upset if my friend did this last minute.

Do you have kids? If not, have an early dinner and chill in bed watching TV and get a good nights sleep.

If you're still tired tomorrow go along and only mention it to tour friend then. Try to agree to take it a bit easier, long lunch, less shopping etc

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