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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel last minute?

79 replies

pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 16:53

I'm not normally a flake before anyone assumes so.
I agreed to go to Leeds with a friend tomorrow and stay overnight.
We have train and hotel booked but I just feel like rubbish.
My period is due tomorrow and I'm so tired.
I don't get bad pain but really really tired.
The thought of travelling and walking round Leeds is too much to bare.
Aibu to cancel and ask to rearrange for another time?
Or do I suck it up and just go?

OP posts:
whitesoxx · 05/04/2019 17:52

Flake. Get to bed sharpish and keep your commitments!!

bettycat81 · 05/04/2019 17:52

I'd try taking some multivits or a tonic like metatone or feraglobin - I usually pick up quite quickly after taking these - especially around totm x

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 05/04/2019 17:53

It is awful when you just feel bone tired, but maybe this is end of Frday afternoon after a long week at work talking.
As everyone has said if you can get an early night etc.. you might find yourself feeling much better in the morning.
Your friend is preg and so hopefully she will also want to have a more relaxing weekend and then just think of that lovely hotel room to crash out in.. You'll perk up. Hope you make it.

Boysey45 · 05/04/2019 17:53

If you cancel you will have to refund her for the train and the hotel if she doesn't want to go by herself or cant find another friend to go.
I'd drop you OP if you did this to me. If you cancelled because you were seriously ill then that would be o.k not because you are due on. It s a horrible selfish thing to do to your friend.

Ilovetea33 · 05/04/2019 17:53

If you did this to me I'd never plan anything with you ever again.

Margot33 · 05/04/2019 17:57

You cant cancel because of your period! Buy some ibuprofen, take some, drink water and get an early night. Go with your friend tomorrow, it will take your mind off it. Being your medicine with you and drink plenty of water. Next time try and plan trips that don't coincide with your period. Hope you have a nice time.

Susanna30 · 05/04/2019 17:58

If you cancel, you should pay your friend back for whats already been booked and paid for.

Just go, have some good food and some caffeine. You might have a surprisingly nice time.

Chloemol · 05/04/2019 17:59

So if you were working would you take the day off because you feel rubbish? No as it appears this happens every month. Just suck it up and go

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2019 18:04

Why is everyone so tired all the time on this thread?specifix busy times I get but general tiredness all the time isn't normal is it?
Unless you have a child under 3 :o

MrsPlesWearsAFez · 05/04/2019 18:05

I'm notoriously flaky due to disability (both pain, and meds that knock me out), but I don't think even I would be able to bring myself to cancel this.

Sorry that's not what you want to hear.

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 18:06

I planned it so it wouldn't coincide but last months period was 5 days late which has knocked my cycle all to bits.
I will end up just going because I don't want to let her down and I've been so excited.
My anxiety is kicking in and saying "what if your I'll in Leeds"
Trying to fight the silly thoughts

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 18:06

It's literally only before and during my period I'm tired.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 05/04/2019 18:07

Leeds is fine, there's plenty of places to rest. You'll enjoy yourself.

pasturesgreen · 05/04/2019 18:08

What Ilovetea said.

Unfortunately I had a friend pull a stunt like this on me last summer: we were due to go away the next morning for three nights away, train all paid in advance, hotel booked. Friend called at 7.45pm the night before to tell me she didn't really feel up to going anymore, very tired, better she stayed home and rested yadda yadda (basically no real reason and no underlying medical issues she didn't want to mention, we've known each other since school and I just know).

I did eventually get my money back for the train and her share of the hotel room (all booked in my name), but I was stuck on my own for four days at the seaside. I generally don't mind going away solo, but the seaside in particular is a rubbish holiday if you're alone.

Tbh it's made me reconsider the whole friendship and now it'd be a very cold day in hell before I could be persuaded to arrange something just the two of us.

So all this long preamble, OP, to say you have to suck it up and go, it's too short notice to let your friend down unless an absolute emergency. Have an early night and let your friend know you're feeling tired so you can agree a mutually enjoyable programme, but please don't let her down.

LostInShoebiz · 05/04/2019 18:11

If you’re regularly affected this much you should consider a trip to the doctor.

I’d be livid if I were your friend, especially if I were pregnant because trips like this might be few and far between once she has a/another baby.

saraclara · 05/04/2019 18:19

I'm glad you've decided to go, because it would be the worst kind of flakery to let her down because you're tired. You simply don't do that to someone.

The fact you even needed to ask, is odd.

sonjadog · 05/04/2019 18:24

5pm on a Friday I never feel like doing anything at all except sit on the sofa all weekend. But an evening unwinding and a good night's sleep does wonders, and it really wouldn't be okay to let your friend down like this.

BlueCornishPixie · 05/04/2019 18:32

Tbh OP most weeks on a Friday I feel exhausted. I think that's normal.

But if I cancelled everything when I was tired or had my period then life would be pretty shit tbh. You just have to push through, once you have got going then you find it's okay. I think it's important to learn to push through things like tiredness because you can't spend every Friday inside.

Is there a reason your worried your ill?

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 18:36

@LostInShoebiz I've got endometriosis and waiting for a lap to remove lots of adhesions
Think that contributes to my tiredness

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2019 18:36

Really? Maybe I'm not working hard enough

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 18:37

I'm going to pop a sleeping tablet as well,make sure im rested enough

OP posts:
Mumsymumphy · 05/04/2019 18:58

You suck it up and go.
Its all booked and paid for, you can't not go if you're tired!
Big girl pants on! Sleep on the train perhaps?

Often the thought of going is worse than the event & you'll probably find you really enjoy it!

ThatLibraryMiss · 05/04/2019 19:04

My anxiety is kicking in and saying "what if your I'll in Leeds"

We do have doctors here. A couple of kick-ass hospitals, too, both of which have an A&E. Boots in the train station is open until midnight.

I like Leeds but I've never seen it as a place to travel three hours by train to spend a night in.

The Arch Cafe does a naice afternoon tea if you call ahead, so that'll be at least an hour sitting down. Brasserie Blanc does good food, not overly fancy, and service is always excellent.

Original poster
pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 19:13

I'm terrible for worrying about everything the night before.
Then the day I have fun.
My friends just text saying she's loaded with cold,so we both will enjoy having a rest by the looks of it.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2019 19:14

Good for you op

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