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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cancel last minute?

79 replies

pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 16:53

I'm not normally a flake before anyone assumes so.
I agreed to go to Leeds with a friend tomorrow and stay overnight.
We have train and hotel booked but I just feel like rubbish.
My period is due tomorrow and I'm so tired.
I don't get bad pain but really really tired.
The thought of travelling and walking round Leeds is too much to bare.
Aibu to cancel and ask to rearrange for another time?
Or do I suck it up and just go?

OP posts:

Mrskeats · 05/04/2019 17:30

Yabu. Take some pain killers and have an early night.

SparklyMagpie · 05/04/2019 17:30

I would be absolutely livid as it is a pathetic excuse. I wouldn't invite you to do anything else

Witchofzog · 05/04/2019 17:31

Yabvu. Your friend has spent a lot of money and is probably really looking forward to this. You are being really flaky and would be a pretty rubbish friend if you cancelled for this.

As another poster said, get an early night and pop some painkillers if you need to.

Original poster

pinkypurplet · 05/04/2019 17:31

She's pregnant so we will be in bed for 11 on the night so it's not too bad.
I'm just worrying of all possibilities.

OP posts:

yearinyearout · 05/04/2019 17:33

I would be fuming if my friend cancelled a night away last minute because of being "tired". We're all bloody tired. Pack some paracetamol and get on with it, you'll be fine once you get going!

GreatDuckCookery · 05/04/2019 17:33

Have a bath and early night and take some painkillers and hopefully you’ll feel a bit better tomorrow.

MaggieAndHopey · 05/04/2019 17:33

That would truly be a bad thing to do. I flake out on group nights out all the time but I'd never cancel an overnight trip with one friend because of period pain and not really feeling like it. Come on.

Whereareyouspot · 05/04/2019 17:33

Ah come on it is a bit of a rubbish reason and if she is pregnant it’s not like you will be expected to party hard!

Plenty of coffee stops for cappuccinos and cake whilst you shop and if you need it grab a granny nap in the afternoon whilst she puts her swollen feet up!

Just explain tomorrow you don’t feel 100% if needs be but try your best to make the most of it

Friendship is important- you never know when you might need your mates

countrybump · 05/04/2019 17:34

I'd be gutted if my friend cancelled a trip at such short notice because they were tired and just didn't feel like it. But, if my friend told me they were tired I would be happy to make the day less physically exhausting by having a long coffee break, lazy lunch, stop for tea etc.

Is it something that you were looking forward to previously? If so, the chances are you will end up forgetting all about your period and having a great time!

Don't let your friend down. Get an early night and enjoy the weekend you had planned.

DragonMamma · 05/04/2019 17:34

I would also be fuming if a friend did this. I’m permanently tired and/or feeling rubbish. If I waited until I felt brilliant I’d never go anywhere or do anything.

Go to bed at 8pm and you’ll feel better tomorrow!

Tinkoschminko · 05/04/2019 17:34

If you feel like you can’t cope with it, don’t go. That’s kind of it. For some reason there’s an assumption here that you’re not quite incapable enough based on your reason as if everyone has some kind of insight into your physiology.

IHateUncleJamie · 05/04/2019 17:35

If she’s pregnant she’s probably knackered too! Coffee on the train, lots of stops for drinks & snacks, leisurely shopping - it’ll be lovely.

fishonabicycle · 05/04/2019 17:36

Early to bed tonight, take a load of paracetamol, you'll be fine

StarTheGirl · 05/04/2019 17:36

This^^! If you don’t fancy shopping all day, can you book in lunch / cinema trip to rest a bit? I’d be a bit miffed to lose the train fare too, which I’m guessing you would?

m0therofdragons · 05/04/2019 17:38

I'd never do anything if I pulled out due to tiredness (work full time,have three kids). It's 5.35pm, just go to bed early and when you wake up have a coffee and a couple of paracetamol for period aches. Once you get there you'll probably be fine.

I have my period and I'm currently walking to my car after work. I'd love to go home and put my pjs on but instead I need to grab a snack tea and take kids to the circus. I'll enjoy it when we're there and seated but right now can't really be arsed.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/04/2019 17:39

If you don't go then your friend would be on her own? That's a bit rubbish given that you're not actually ill.

If you really feel like you can't then you should at least pay her costs. But be prepared for her to be pretty put out by the whole thing

ReallyReallyNo · 05/04/2019 17:42

You’re being a bit selfish. She’s pregnant which is exhausting a lot of the time and she’s not cancelling on you. Just go and have a nice time.

MidsomerBurgers · 05/04/2019 17:43

I'm an insomniac nurse and Mother. I mostly manage to be able to function. If I'm really bad I will ask colleagues to double-check stuff for me.

Have an early night and plan lots of coffee shop stops tomorrow and an easy day on Sunday.

BlackSatinDancer · 05/04/2019 17:43

I'd think saying you are tired is a bit of a rubbish reason (unless you have CFS). Perhaps an early night will help. If you cancel then your friend may not go either and it's a lot of money to waste.

Sometimes you really enjoy things more when you aren't expecting to.

bobstersmum · 05/04/2019 17:45

It's a pretty crap reason to cancel, you are tired? Get an early night? Period? Really?

Loubylou79 · 05/04/2019 17:45

With 3 young children if I didn’t go out when I was tired, I wouldn’t go anywhere!

Timewarpdancer · 05/04/2019 17:45

If you can afford to pay your friend the money she has spent on train tickets and hotel then cancel,otherwise I’d just suck it up.

GottaGoGottaGo · 05/04/2019 17:46

Early night with a couple of paracetamol. Pro Plus and / or caffeine in the morning and you are good to go!! If she's pregnant, I can pretty much guarantee she's more tired than you... How would you feel if she cancelled on you?

tocotoucan · 05/04/2019 17:49

Of course you can cancel.... but you can't expect your friend to be okay about it! I'd be really annoyed if I were her. Just get an early night, make sure you've got paracetamol to hand, have some coffee and get on with it. Tell your friend in advance to be aware you aren't feeling 100% so you may need to take a slower pace and not too late a night out. I'm abroad travelling atm with dh and 2 young kids. Realised the week before we came out my period would be due around the first few days, and I knew it would be a bad one as got debilitating headaches the day before we left. Just had to dose myself up with paracetamol and ride it out. Had awful pains (verging on as bad as labour pains) during the flight out here. We've walked 50 miles in 3 days, and although it's been tiring on my feet, I do think the walking has actually helped with my usual horrendous period pains and headaches I get every month. Just go, and the walking might do you some good. I think your friend would be really upset if you cancelled for the reasons you've stated, especially so last minute.

neveradullmoment99 · 05/04/2019 17:50

You are definitely BU! I am surprised you are willing to forgo the amount you paid for the train. If it were me, I would be so annoyed.

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