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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed over scan pictures

74 replies

Googleditanditsnotgood · 31/03/2019 21:33

So long story short I don't have the best relationship with ILs and have been advised to go lc/nc on here before.

Currently 29 weeks pregnant. Had a hard time with pregnancy as I've lost two this past year. Sil asked if she could share our scan pic on fb and we said no please don't (twice). Tonight I see she has shared it as part of a happy Mother's Day post to mil. :-(

AIBU to be a bit upset? I've messaged her asking her to please remove it.

OP posts:
babysharkah · 31/03/2019 21:35

I would be livid.

Samind · 31/03/2019 21:35

Wtf??? She shared your scan photo? Context. FML that is ridiculously rude given youd asked her not to.

Bambamber · 31/03/2019 21:36

YANBU

Sharing someone else's scan photo is really weird and intrusive. Why did she have your photo? I would write a comment on it saying you specifically asked her not share the photo. Why use your scan photo for a mother's Day thing for your MIL? Weird all over

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 31/03/2019 21:36

Definitely not being unreasonable. Ask her which part of no she didn't understand, then LC.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 21:39

Why did you send it to her?

StepAwayFromGoogle · 31/03/2019 21:41

YANBU - I would be absolutely LIVID! When she's removed it, I'd send her a text along the lines of "we asked you twice not to put our scan photo on FB but you still did. Why? It's not yours to share. Pull another stunt like that and you won't be meeting your niece or nephew."

crispysausagerolls · 31/03/2019 21:47

YANBU

callmeadoctor · 31/03/2019 21:47

Don't understand why you sent her scan picture?

TakeMe2Insanity · 31/03/2019 21:51

Really baffled that anyone would think it would be appropriate to share a photo of a scan that isn’t theirs let alone where people have asked for them not to share it! Fuming for you.

LittleMissHappy19 · 31/03/2019 21:54

I would be absolutely furious!!

My partner and I have had no social media accounts for years.
We stated to all our family and friends, that we do not want any photographs to be posted of our babies.

When my first baby was born, my SIL put up a status on fb saying how proud etc she was, with a photograph of our son..we were both very upset!

My partner messaged her immediately and told her politely to take it down. She did straight away.

You need to say that you do not like it and to remove it immediately!!

Banhaha · 31/03/2019 21:56

Sounds a really strange thing to do. YANBU. I'd find it really hard to trust her again.

Ca55andraMortmain · 31/03/2019 21:57

That is outrageous behaviour and I would be really upset with her. For everyone saying it's odd for you to have sent the picture to sil, I don't think it is at all. For both of my pregnancies I sent a pic of the scan via WhatsApp to family so they could see the baby (we don't live near each other so they wouldn't see it in person). I thought most people did that? Hope you're ok OP. Once she's taken the picture down I would definitely confront her about it, especially if you plan not to put photos of the baby on FB after s/he arrives. My family and my in-laws need to constantly be reminded not to post pictures of my DC on social media and always claim they forgot, before huffily taking them down. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 31/03/2019 21:59

Did she (at least) crop out your info at the top of the scan?

FizzyGreenWater · 31/03/2019 22:00

Tell her it comes down immediately or she won't be getting a pic of the baby when it arrives.

Persimmonn · 31/03/2019 22:01

Eew. That’s like the inside of your uterus on display for the world! I’d be livid!

GPatz · 31/03/2019 22:02

That's not on. I get why she may have a copy of the scan picture, but to use it in a way you expressly forbade is inexcusable.

Original poster
Googleditanditsnotgood · 31/03/2019 22:04

Thanks for all the replies, good to know I'm not losing the plot!!
For context we sent them the scan pic as we live a little while away and have a family WhatsApp as pp above has :-) I've been happy to involve them (at a distance) with the pregnancy as I know they are very excited.

Sil asked dh a couple of times if she could share on fb (not just the scan but also the pregnancy) and was told no that we wanted it kept off SM.

Tonight I went on fb and saw she had made a collage kind of thing about how much family means to her mum and on one of the pics was my scan. I don't think it had my details on.

I messaged her asking her to remove it as I had said I didn't want it shared and she rang (I didn't answer as was on the loo 🙈) and left a voicemail saying oops sorry didn't think. Very breezy. Anyway she has now taken it down.

I didn't know if I was letting my previous relationship with her and mil cloud my judgement as we do not get along well.

OP posts:
kateandme · 31/03/2019 22:05

nope.that id be really angry over.deal with it.dont fume silently she needs to be told.

Original poster
Googleditanditsnotgood · 31/03/2019 22:06

I know her and mil will now be slagging me off saying I'm over dramatic or something :-( dh agrees with me btw x

OP posts:
ShowMeTheKittens · 31/03/2019 22:08

What a nasty thing to do! It's not her prerogative! Your partner needs to speak to her, but don't upset yourself over this stupid woman.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 31/03/2019 22:16

It’s really weird to include someone else’s scan photo on a collage for your mum on mothers’ day! Why include someone else’s children let alone the scan photo? Your SIL is weird.

BumbleBeee69 · 31/03/2019 22:18

She did think, she deliberately ignored your request and carried on regardless, it was a calculated post particularly as you had already stated twice you did not want it posted on SM.

Susanna30 · 31/03/2019 22:20

How terrible of her. She had no right to do that.

Crossfitgirl · 31/03/2019 22:20

Sounds like it was just a mistake, either that or she didn't think it being part of a collage would be an issue whereas a fb announcement draws all the attention to you and your baby. Either way, she's obviously not meant to hurt your feelings if she's rung you straight away and apologised and taken it down, so I'd leave it at that and don't worry about it.
I'm glad she taken it down.
My SIL is exactly the same and literally can't wait to put absolutely everything on social media. I don't understand it myself as if I'm wishing someone a happy birthday or mother's day or whatever, I just send them a message. Why does the whole of facebook need to see?

Persimmonn · 31/03/2019 22:25

I haven’t been on FB for ages. Are people still doing these pathetic collages and writing tomes about their love for their significant other or parents when they’re just sat 2 ft away? What is the ducking point of these declarations of love?

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