AIBU to be annoyed over scan pictures

[Googleditanditsnotgood]

So long story short I don't have the best relationship with ILs and have been advised to go lc/nc on here before.

Currently 29 weeks pregnant. Had a hard time with pregnancy as I've lost two this past year. Sil asked if she could share our scan pic on fb and we said no please don't (twice). Tonight I see she has shared it as part of a happy Mother's Day post to mil. :-(

AIBU to be a bit upset? I've messaged her asking her to please remove it.

Oh, sorry. I thought she'd made the collage for a WhatsApp mother's Day message. Apologies.

Christ I found people the be so weird and territorial over a photo of my womb! ExMIL and DM both got genuinely upset because I wouldn’t give them one for their fridges. It’s good that your SIL’s taken them off FB! Try to enjoy your pregnancy OP and don’t let your selfish SIL ruin it

That’s not on at all I would’ve be furious. I didn’t post my own scan pictures on social media so definitely don’t want anyone else doing it. I actually deactivated my account as I can’t be bothered with people asking the inevitable have you had the baby yet from about 30 weeks pregnant or with dh family who are giving us the silent treatment watching my page for news of babies arrival.

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds yes it was shared on fb. It's more that we have personal reasons not to want it all over fb and I feel that should have been respected. I am concerned about after baby is born as we (dh and I) had already decided limited contact and this kind of thing makes me aware they will not respect our boundaries.

She took it down, which would indicate she’s just a bit young and silly rather than doing it maliciously, albeit there is a backstory. The positive thing to this is that the photos of your wedding, where your mil blanked you have also been removed from this vomit inducing collage. Has the scan photo not been included, this family lie would have been left to stand.

Had the scan - autocorrect incorrect.

I would be absolutely livid. Report the post on Facebook and give her a piece of your mind. This is not her baby and not her news to share.

I’d be furious

SIL has behaved badly but I just think either you use social media or you don’t, it seems odd to post your photos but then say ‘please don’t share’.
So many misunderstandings and mistakes can be avoided by just not getting involved in social media.
And no one really needs to see your scan photos except you and your DP.

Stop sharing every detail of your life.

A scan photo to your mother and sister is really not unusal.

OP is she very young 18/19? Giving her the benefit of the doubt she'll hopefully be embarrassed in a few years.

Id drop MIL after the way she treated you after your wedding.

Whatsapp is just a text service for group texting over wifi so it's free to send photos. . It's not far off sending a group email. Nothing like broadcasting it in social media to your brother's wife's boss.

Im thinking some of you dont know what it is.

Your womb,your rules imo

Is WhatsApp really the same as Facebook? I assumed WhatsApp messages could only be seen by the recipients

Shiiiit I've shared some really personal stuff on there with friends. Stuff I wouldn't post on fb in a million yearsm

I can sympathise. My SIL used my scan pictures to submit for the nub theory without my permission. We didn't want to find out the sex!!! I was devastated and so upset. I cried for days that she knew the sex of my baby before I did. Some people are so self absorbed that they can't consider anyone else's feelings.

Yes WhatsApp can only be seen by people in the group so in this case me dh, sil, bil, fil and mil.

Whereas Sils fb has hundreds of people I've never nor will ever meet 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway I've learnt my lesson and will be a lot more cautious!

@hellallit god that's intrusive :-( not surprised you were upset ! I don't know why people can't respect other people's feelings and boundaries !

What I fail to understand is why you are involved in a group chat with IL's at all if you had issues with them before that warranted you getting advice to go NC. Leave the group and let the next update be that baby is born. And be prepared to set boundaries once baby arrives if they are the type to ignore previous bad relationship.

@Drum2018 I see that it's confusing from the outside... a lot of things happened and mil said she would apologise but never did. However when I had a mc she was actually very normal and almost considerate. This made me think maybe our baby would be the turning point for things and a fresh start. I was clearly very naive as things are still the way they are in terms of her behaviour and tbh I feel any slight goodwill I had has gone.

She sounds like a dream! I'd definitely back away now before the birth. You can do without any drama and upset when you are getting to know your new baby.

When you send pic on WhatsApp the recipient can download it and do whatever they want with it...share print etc.
Do don't send any you don't want to go any further.

"What the hell is " submit for the nub theory?"

It’s the notion that randoms on the Internet can tell you what your trained sonographer can’t. Some might call it bollocks...

My sister's SIL announced the birth of both my sister's children on facebook before they has even left the hospital. I was livid for my sister but she didn't put her foot down the first time so not surprising it happen again with the second.