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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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He called hookers to the house

77 replies

OMFL · 04/03/2019 03:53

We were having some renovation work done at home. We agreed it's best we stayed in a hotel for a week. He was meant to stay too but only stayed 1 night. A week later I find an empty condom wrapper on my side of our bed between the bed and drawers. We have never in 12 years used them ever. I confronted him and asked who came over not expecting to hear what i was told. 1st came out with random excuse of "oh some girls were knocking on the door but I turned them away". My response was in 12 years no one has ever randomly knocked on the door cus of where we live, especially a group of girls! He soon enough confessed he called an escort agency but bottled it wen he opened the door and turned them away. I'm too stunned for words. I told him I didn't believe him. He carried on protesting till I showed him condom wrapper. He laughed and said he used it himself while masturbating as it's lubed up. After rowing most of the day he has turned it all on me and basically said "well do you blame me you ugly fat cunt, look at the state of you". I could go on and on and on about him but seriously AIBU??

OP posts:
TheQueef · 04/03/2019 03:59

Nope NU.
It sounds like you have a serious problem.
I doubt he would have the courage to take her to house on his first booking.
He's an old hand.

Sorry he did this to you and sorry he has the gall to try and blame you Flowers maybe pop this is relationships for help in ltb.

Rtmhwales · 04/03/2019 04:23

Of course YANBU. You know you aren't.

Are you two married? This would be a deal breaker for me. I'd also probably get myself checked for STIs as this might not be the first time he's done this either.

Sorry this is going on for you. His final response has shown his true colors.

ApolloandDaphne · 04/03/2019 04:23

I'm not sure what your question is but I am certain the correct answer is LTB.

Singlenotsingle · 04/03/2019 04:26

He's a charmer, isn't he? Shock

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 04/03/2019 04:59

What a catch!

expat101 · 04/03/2019 05:01

It does sound like he wanted to be caught out. Why would an empty condom wrapper be at the motel if he was bonking someone/masturbating back at home?

I get the masturbating bit, but to use a condom? Nah.

Get rid of the twit.

ColeHawlins · 04/03/2019 05:53

Nasty bastard.

You want out now, presumably?

Prinstress · 04/03/2019 06:01

Chuck him in the bin where he belongs, the slime ball. What is actually wrong with men?

OMFL · 04/03/2019 09:12

Yup we are married. The wrapper was in our bedroom at home. I was at the hotel. The hookers came to the house. He has denied everything and is just drinking and swearing at me.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 04/03/2019 09:14

Time to think of an exit strategy.
Get your ducks in a row.
💐 sorry you are going through this

Shoxfordian · 04/03/2019 09:35

Divorce him, he's disgusting

BlueMerchant · 04/03/2019 09:39

Get rid. Now. New house renovation and new life renovation for you.

hastingsmua1 · 04/03/2019 09:41

His response to you was so nasty. And it’s because he called you unattractive, it’s the fact that he was caught out and tried to turn the situation back on you by blaming you for stepping out, when you did absolutely nothing wrong. Gaslighting behaviour surely?

In my opinion your relationship is past saving in it’s current state. He’s shown you his true feelings now. He can apologise all he wants but there will always be doubt in your mind now that you know he finds you unattractive and was prepared to cheat on you as soon as you were away from the house.

hastingsmua1 · 04/03/2019 09:42

It’s NOT because he called you unattractive **

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 04/03/2019 09:45

LTB, as soon as you can.

He is a nasty, cruel emotionally abusive fuckwit and a cheat to boot. Any redeeming features you may believe he possesses cannot overcome his disgusting attitude and behaviour towards you.

Also get an STD test asap too.

Be prepared for the sober, grovelling apology he will no doubt insincerely give you.

I'm sorry OP, take care , you deserve better.

ShesABelter · 04/03/2019 09:49

Wow my dh would very quickly gave found himself in a hotel for good!

PrincessScarlett · 04/03/2019 09:52

What a disgusting man. Get rid.

ColeHawlins · 04/03/2019 09:52

What's your plan?

IDoN0tCare · 04/03/2019 10:01

Even if he didn’t have sex with prostitutes, which you know rightly he bloody well has, the ‘ugly fat cunt’ would be enough to end my marriage. I could never get over that. Keep cool, OP, and get all your finances sorted, paperwork relating to his finances photocopied, a bit of cash hidden away and then get out. He’s absolutely horrible.

longwayoff · 04/03/2019 10:03

If you need to ask what to do you need more help than is available here.

Cryingwithlaughter91 · 04/03/2019 10:09

Leave.

Nothing more needs to be said.

CarpetDiem · 04/03/2019 10:13

Yuck

downcasteyes · 04/03/2019 10:20

Of course he had sex with the prostitute he called. Don't be daft.

I think this is the ultimate betrayal, really. I'm so sorry you're going through this. The fact that he is blaming you for his own actions says it all. He's not going to change, and his skanky behaviour is putting your health at risk. Time to dump him, OP, and sell that house you are renovating.

PerpendicularVincent · 04/03/2019 10:21

Lose several stone of unwanted flesh by leaving this twat.

I'm so sorry this has happened and you deserve better.

AlaskaSometimes · 04/03/2019 10:22

I’m so sorry OP. When I was younger I worked as an escort. I used to hate getting called out to obviously married guys houses and it happened a lot. I actually hid a few condom wrappers on the wife’s side of the bed just under the sheet or around the dressing table if a guy ordered me to his marital home and slept with me in their bed without shame. It was my little revenge.

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