He called hookers to the house

[OMFL]

We were having some renovation work done at home. We agreed it's best we stayed in a hotel for a week. He was meant to stay too but only stayed 1 night. A week later I find an empty condom wrapper on my side of our bed between the bed and drawers. We have never in 12 years used them ever. I confronted him and asked who came over not expecting to hear what i was told. 1st came out with random excuse of "oh some girls were knocking on the door but I turned them away". My response was in 12 years no one has ever randomly knocked on the door cus of where we live, especially a group of girls! He soon enough confessed he called an escort agency but bottled it wen he opened the door and turned them away. I'm too stunned for words. I told him I didn't believe him. He carried on protesting till I showed him condom wrapper. He laughed and said he used it himself while masturbating as it's lubed up. After rowing most of the day he has turned it all on me and basically said "well do you blame me you ugly fat cunt, look at the state of you". I could go on and on and on about him but seriously AIBU??

I agree, call police now OP. xx

Call the police now.

If he says it again; can you record it on your phone?
Anyway; call the police. Good luck OP.

Holy fuck, hope you've called them now. And I hope they bang him up for the night.

What an absolute bastard.

I'd suggest you see a solicitor and see whether this behaviour is enough to get him removed from the matrimonial home.

I'm so sorry, this must be awful for you. You must call the police and get this man removed from your home asap.

In the long term, no you do not have no finances. I you are his legal wife and the children are his it doesn't matter if everything's in his name, you have a legal claim on what's "his". Go a speak to a solicitor asap. Don't let him con you out of your legal share.

Hi OMFL,

We can see you're getting some really good advice and support here which we hope you've taken on board. Please call 999 if you are in danger.

Please also take a look at our Domestic Violence webguide - there are lots of organisations listed which can give you some support in real life right now. Women's Aid have a free helpline which is open 24 hours a day - 0808 2000 247.

Please take care.

Holy shit! Police now! Get off mumsnet and dial 999!

Hope you are ok op? I hope you've got yourself and children somewhere safe. As pp's have said I don't think he would do this at the house first time. He's probably done it before.

Hope you’re safe and okay he sounds like absolute scum.

Police. Now.

Please OP, think of your safety and that of your children.

CALL THE FUCKING POLICE!!

Never take a drunks man word as a joke when he’s threatening to kill you.

Please get some help

I hope you’ve called the police.

He was too drunk to do anything after 48 hours of booze! He's passed out. I shall deal with him once sober, in the mean time I shall start making plans. A huge heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you kind kind people. You kept me going 🙏

I wouldn’t trust him to stay passed out.

He could wake up at any time and do something whilst you are asleep.

Don’t risk it.

Best scenario, he spends the night in a cell sobering up

What if he attacks you or the children while you are asleep?

Out. On. His. Arse.

Do you have anywhere you can go?
I'd take the opportunity of him being passed out to up and leave. If he's made threats to kill, then you need to get out for yours and your children's safety.

I agree with Azulmariposa, use the opportunity to get out yourself. Pronto. Grab what you can and go.

OP. Are you 100% sure you are safe? Is there the tiniest doubt in your mind that something could go wrong? This man has a lot to lose - his wife, kids, and depending on how discreet you are, his reputation with everyone he knows when they know he threw away his family for some paid for fun. The man who has nothing left is a very very dangerous one.
Please don't be tomorrow's headlines. Like I say, the tiniest doubt in your mind is worth gathering up those children and sleeping elsewhere. If you can't afford a hotel, go sit in a police station and make yourself someone else's problem. People will look after you. Take lots of care.

You should still report him to the police for your children’s safety, if not for your own safety.

(Hopefully) you are about to leave a cheating and possibly abusive man - it’s at this stage that you need to protect yourself the most as you don’t know if his behaviour may escalate when you do leave.

Sorry but threats to kill are unacceptable; there’s no way to justify that, especially as you weren’t the one stepping out.

Sorry but threats to kill are unacceptable; there’s no way to justify that, especially as you weren’t the one stepping out.

Not only unacceptable, but also a criminal offence. Please report him to the police.

Still report it to the police. He’s passed out now but what about the next time he gets drunk?

Get it on record tonight, can you get the children away tonight? If not make your plans but do not tell him you are planning to leave. Get legal advice and tell them about the threat, drunk or not it was a threat to kill you.

It’s a criminal act op, and you are children are the potential victims. Whether he’s drunk or not doesn’t change that- pick up the phone and dial the police. You’ll be glad.

Are you ok???