To do this with DS and expect no contradiction?

[MidwifeyForLifey]

SIL's DD is having a princess party. When I asked what the boys were coming as, she said superhero's.

DS (a toddler), would look very cute in a prince outfit so I've gone along and purchased an ivory coloured Christening type outfit, complete with little tights and ballet shoes And of course, a little crown. I bought it at the time I was told about the party and nothing was really said apart form an eye roll.

She really doesn't approve and has gone ahead any purchased him a little superhero outfit, despite knowing I've already bought the prince outfit.

AIBU to think this really isn't fair?

She also 'doesn't agree' with boys doing ballet dancing etc, but that's another story for another day.

Well if he wants to be a prince then go with it. From a practical pov he is more likely to get more wear from a superhero outfit than an ivory christening outfit though.

Dress him in the outfit you brought and tell her he's a medieval superhero here to rescue the princesses from dragons.

Surely the key thing is what does he want to wear?

The outfit you have found doesn’t sound particularly comfy!

However if all the boys are in capes and masks and the girls in Princess dresses and your son is in ballet tights and a christening outfit, espect people to think you're trying to make him the centre of attention

He is not even 18 months yet, so he doesn't care. Therefore what I want seems fair.

Why would you go against her theme though? It's not your DS's party. It's her DD's party and if the theme is princesses and superheroes then you've been very unreasonable to just go against that.

I have no issues with boys dressing up as princes or even princesses but it's her party and if she's said superheroes then that's what he should go as, even if you prefer the Prince idea. You don't stomp all over other people's parties. Its mean.

Your SIL doesn't get a say in what your child wears. Full stop. You don't need her "approval" for anything.

I would just put him in something practical and easy to play in. Stop tell her about your decision if she going to

The thing is, she only said it was superhero's for the boys when I showed what I was getting.

And her DD was made up when I asked if she would like DS to attend as a Prince.

There is only 1 other boy going, possibly 2. And lots of girls

..disagree and then she can’t complain. But I think she is being weird.

Sorry, but the outfit you have chosen is only appropriate for the birthday child.

You can dress it up any way you want, pretending you’re taking a stand against sexism, but taking a child to their cousins birthday party wearing a christening outfit and a crown is rude and deliberate thunder stealing.

If I saw you do that at a party I’d think you were a very nasty person who was prepared to upset a child because of some sort of mind game with her mother.

A christening outfit and a crown? To another child’s birthday party? Just no. No waaaay.

Either dress him in the party theme or don't go. You're making a drama out of something that doesn't need to be.

You could probably find a superhero outfit cheaply in a supermarket or charity shop.

Erm, the other girls will be wearing crowns too? Even her younger sister

It's not like him and the birthday girl would be the only ones.

And it isn't a full wow factor Christening gown. It's quite lowkey... it's just ivory so okay for that occasion.

Have we gone back in time by 30 years? gender stereotypes are alive and well in 2019.

My DS would choose the princess costume without a doubt, but he is 3 and old enough to make his feelings known. In your case with an 18 month old I'd probably just put him in comfortable party clothes.

Sounds like you're both being a bit unreasonable and the kids are in the middle. She wants princesses and superheroes and thinks she can dress your child, and you sound like you're trying to make a passive aggressive statement about how boys can wear ballet shoes.

YANBU.

Princesses party.
You bought something on theme.
Showed it to your SIL.
She didn't like it and said boys were mean to come as superheroes.
Tough.

(However because you didn't get the chronology correct in your OP you have muddied the waters for responses.)

I have a dd who owns no princess outfits and wouldn’t want to dress up as one, she’d prefer to be a superhero so that’s what I’d let her go as. I think your SIL is being daft.

YABU. It's a party with a theme. If he was old enough to want to be a princess then fine but it's princesses and superheros. It seems like you've done this to wind her up and cause an issue and have been successful. It's a fairly unpleasant thing to do. And who the hell willingly puts an 18 month old in white?

Right. So now you're saying that you bought the outfit before she said it was superhero's whereas you said before that you were told the theme first. Crucial error there OP. I call BS on your update.

It's only superheroes because a 'masculine' alternative to the princess theme couldn't be thought of, so superhero was default.

I didn't say so in the OP (sorry), but I was told superheroes after I showed my outfit idea

It is like 'going to a party in the wrong clothes'. I think the issue is you want to dress your son in an outfit that you think befits him and want him to be admired. Just follow the party rules.

Another thing when they say Princess they dont mean some random Princess it is always a Disney princess in which case if you wanted a Prince you should have got a Disney prince costume. I think given that you have mentioned tights and ballet shoes and how SIL disagrees with boys doing ballet its more about you making a statement.

I wouldn't dress any toddler in an ivory-coloured outfit.

sween No, the theme is Princesses for the girls. The cake isn't even Disney themed, it's just a princess with a castle. Nothing about it is Disney really. DNiece is going in a really lovely princess dress from TKMaxx. No Disney in sight but I'm sure the other little girls will wear Disney princess